


Red

by rememberingsunday



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low, Misc - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Soul Mate AU, TW: Self Harm, TW: Suicide, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 69,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2549381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rememberingsunday/pseuds/rememberingsunday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You get your first tattoo when you're around fourteen.<br/>(soul mate au)</p><p>(Nanowrimo 2013)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. beginning

_You find your soul mate through tattoos._

_Usually they aren’t ugly tattoos. Or, you could hope they aren’t because you can’t remove them._

_The first tattoo appears around the age of fourteen._

_Somewhere, someone in the world is getting it’s match._

_The longer it takes to find your soul mate the more tattoos you get._

_Your soul mate is everything._

_They are perfect for you._

_They will fit with you completely in every way. Make you laugh when all you want to do is cry, hug you just right, the person who knows when you want to be alone and when you want to be held, the person who kisses just right, the person who knows your favorite song and can sing all the words, who can be everything you wanted and more than you could ever, ever imagine._

_They, are your other half._

_Your forever._

_Your soul mate._

_*_

 

Kate gets her first tattoo when she’s fourteen.

Her twin, Katie, gazes at it, awe in their eyes.

“We better tell Mom,” Katie says, poking it cautiously.

It’s a blue moon, blue with the tiniest hint of silver. It’s beautiful. Kate loves it.

She stares at it, the hem of her shirt raised so slightly above her hip bone where it’s at, pretty against her pale skin that matches Katie’s, and traces it slightly as they walk down the stairs.

“What is it?” Their mother asks, bending over. She’s a kind faced woman, after raising them and being worn from the days when they were children (they like to deny it feverishly, because, well, it’s embarrassing, to admit that they were wild little children) but she’s still pretty, still retained some of her looks from before.

“Kate got her tattoo!”

The potato peeler falls from her hands and she gapes. “Really? Where?”

And Kate proudly lifts up her shirt, showing that small, silvery blue moon, beaming because she’s gonna find her soul mate.

“Mom,” she begins, looking up at her mother. “What happened to your soul mate?”

She’s always been afraid to ask before, because well, obviously something happened because she doesn’t have a dad. She hasn’t, since she was two and she can barely remember it.

Her mother’s face falls. “Ah… you might want to come sit down.”

And so they do and she begins, the snowy night where it was flurry and cold and the snow was building up outside, and it was icy, so icy, she says, a catch in her voice.

“And he left, darlings, he left to go get milk.” Her voice is choked up now, and her eyes are all shiny and Kate doesn’t _get_ it, doesn’t _understand._

“The car was going too fast, they say. The ice was too slippery. It slammed into him and he… he…”

And then their mother is crying, crying right in front of them, and the green eyes both Katie and Kate got from her are dark, and full of tears and it hurts, it hurts to see your own mother cry.

So Kate decides, right then, that it must hurt to lose your soul mate. She’s only fourteen, and she cares about boy bands and guys that aren’t her soul mate and forever scares her, but what scares her more is not having forever, of losing them in a dark cold night with too much snow and too much ice and not enough safety.

She’s _scared_ and she hates her tattoo now.

*

There’s a boy at her school.

She likes him a lot.

And it sucks, because he’s not her soul mate.

They’ve checked. There’s no matching tattoos and it makes her sad, a kind of sadness she hasn’t really felt before and doesn’t want to feel again. A kind that makes her cry at night and makes Katie crawl into her bed, comforting her sister.

She hates soul mates.

She hate them because they left her mother like that, sad and empty and cold and she hates it. She doesn’t ever want to feel that way.

And Luke is so nice, so sweet, and she likes holding his hand and seeing the snowflakes rest on his hat and she likes to kiss him and she likes to see his smile, especially knowing she’s the reason.

She likes it, she likes it a lot.

She doesn’t see him at school that much, because her and Katie are inseparable. She loves her sister and she loves how she doesn’t even need to worry about her best friend leaving her, because Katie won’t, ever.

And when it’s the middle of the night and she cries into her pillow, she’s thankful her best friend lives with her.

Katie gets her first tattoo six months after Kate.

It’s tiny, tiny words that are in a pretty, curling font and it’s across her left wrist.

“ _Pick you up when you fall to pieces.”_

They Google it and nothing comes up.

But Katie is overjoyed and so is Kate, because that’s how they work. If ones happy so is the other.

They’re also different, they’re so similar but different.

People think the reason twins can finish each other’s is because they think the same, but that’s not true. At least, not for them. Kate just knows her sister so, so well she can tell what she’s thinking easily, and she thinks it’s the same for Katie.

They look the same, almost, too. Same ski slope noses and dark brown-red hair that’s wavy and big green eyes and pale skin, and they’re both pretty. The Ride twins, that’s them.

They’re undeniably close.

“I don’t know how I feel about Luke.”

Kate cocks her head. “Why?”

Katie shrugs, sitting next to her sister. “I don’t know. Maybe because he’s not your soul mate and it seems completely foolish to be in something that’s just gonna end. Pointless heartbreak.”

Kate has always been dreamy and romantic. In a way so has Katie but a different kind of dreamy.

“But… I love him.”

Katie sends her a hard glance and she bites her lip.

You’re not really supposed to love someone who’s not your soul mate.

*

At school the  next day, it’s Monday (ugh) and Katie and Kate walk down the hallway. They’re the kind of twins that coordinate their outfits. Today, it’s red skinny jeans and blue and white striped t-shirts and Converse and they walk next to each other and they smile and giggle and whisper because that’s how they work.

They’re best friends and everyone knows that anyone who tries to separate them will get the wrath.

(They all still remember Lucy Swift, who stole Katie’s first boyfriend. She eventually moved school s and no one really likes to talk about it anyways).

It’s lunch and their discussing home work when Luke comes over.

Katie is silent, watching as the smile spreads across her sister’s face and the dangerous glint in her apple green eyes.

And no, not because Kate is angry, but because you’re not supposed to look at someone like that and not share a matching tattoo.

And then Luke wraps his arms around her sister’s waist, and his sleeve slides up and there’s a little four leaf clover on his wrist and Katie almost wants to say something, because she knows how this will end but she bites it back, because Kate is happy and she won’t, _can’t,_ ruin that.

But later, when Katie is alone because Kate’s with Luke and she sees a girl with violent violet hair and dark eyeliner with a small clover flower on her wrist, and Luke is with her, and she knows Kate is still at the restaurant waiting for him.

“Hey, Luke,” she says, turning around. “Good luck, yeah?”

And he looks down at the four leaf clover on his wrist ( _luck)_  and looks scared and grips the violet haired girl’s hand tighter.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “But Perrie… is… she’s…”

“I know,” Katie murmurs. “But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t tell Kate.”

And then she’s gone.

*

Maybe that’s an unlucky number, she thinks. And yes, she should’ve known better. Because Luke wasn’t her soul mate and she should have _known,_ because even though she’s dreamy, she should have known.

But she didn’t.

And she tries not to be hurt, but that makes it worse, and she tries not to let Katie hear her crying but she does and _wow, it feels like all the butterflies just died._

They see Luke at the school, and he’s holding Perrie’s hand tightly, and Katie viciously criticizes everything about the girl, and Kate just sort of floats around blankly, and tries not to remember the way Luke’s blonde hair fell in his eyes.

But she’s _fourteen,_ and she’s not supposed to _hurt_ this much.

*

Another tattoo appears.

It’s a sentence again, in dark blue, in all lower case letters.

_“Hey, we’re taking on the world.”_

She stares at it, fascinated, tracing it and tracing it, because it’s so, so beautiful and she’s still scared of forever and she hates the way her hair falls too far down her back and she hates her cheeks and she hates her stomach and she hates _herself_ but this, this is so beautiful.

She doesn’t deserve it, and it’s out of place on her.

Because it’s beautiful and she’s _not._

_*_

The day she turns fifteen, she’s sad.

Katie is bouncy, leaping around and jumping on her bed and yelling, “WE’RE FIFTEEN! WE’RE FIFTEEN!” At the top of her lungs and Kate is trying hard not to cry.

And she doesn’t know why, but that’s how it’s been for a while, it’s everyday she’s trying not to cry and of course today wouldn’t be any different.

She gets out of bed slowly, making her way downstairs. The smell of pancakes is making her hungry and nauseous and she wants to eat but then she doesn’t and it’s like a war, a war between who she is now and who she was.

Katie runs by her and Kate laughs, and follows her sister downstairs.

“Happy birthday,” her mother says, smiling and flipping pancakes onto their plates.

“Thanks mom,” the twins chorus together.

“Anyone you’re having over tonight?” She asks as she puts the whip cream on the table.

“No,” Katie explains. “We didn’t want to. We can just hang out with people at school.”

Their mom shrugs. “Up to you, I guess. Eat, or else you’ll be late.”

They finish and go upstairs, Katie flipping about her birthday out fit.

Kate just shrugs and puts on black skinny jeans and black Converse and her blue hoodie and her sister stares at her.

“What?” Kate asks. “It’s not a big deal.”

Katie still fusses and in the end they go coordinated as usual, in light green buttons downs and black jeans and she smiles as everybody cheers them happy birthday and there’s a cake no one is really sure who made and they eat it and go to class and everything is good.

But Kate is still feeling sad, and what scares her more is that she feels _numb,_ and tired, so tired of everything, of the feeling of sitting in class, of laughing, of her friends, of the too sweet taste of cake in her mouth and the eyes of her classmates on her.

And she just wants to go home and sleep, sleep forever.

*

When they get home there’s two smooth white cases on the counter and now they have iPhones and they have more connections and now Kate is happy (well as happy as she can be) and excited but in the long run, it probably wasn’t a good thing.

*

It gets worse.

She wakes up one day, wishing she hadn’t and she cries a lot and she feels numb and Katie doesn’t know what to do.

She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her sister and she doesn’t know how to fix her, like she always has. She’s helpless.

And this is when Kate starts.

It’s because she hates herself, hates herself. Because the words ‘ _not good enough, not good enough,not good enough,’_ ring in her head on repeat, because she’s scared, desperate, sad and so terrifyingly numb.

And all she can think is that the pain has never felt so good and the blood has never looked so pretty and she has never been so sad.

*

Katie doesn’t know.

Kate tries very, very hard to keep it a secret. The door is always locked, the razors are always hidden away, and the wounds are always kept hidden by long sleeves and shirt hems and jeans.

It’s summer.

“Come swimming,” Katie begs.

“I don’t feel like it,” Kate says, flipping to the next page of her book.

“Why?” Katie asks, flopping onto the bed next to her sister.

“Because.”

“Because why?”

Kate thinks they should probably stop being so childish, they are fourteen after all, but it makes her smile a little so she doesn’t stop.

“Because I’m reading.”

Katie peers at the title of the book. “ _Gone With The Wind?”_

“Yes,” Kate says, turning the page. She’s at the part where Frank dies and Rhett and Scarlett were dancing around the concept that they liked each other.

She wishes she had a Rhett.

“But Kit Kat,” Katie moans. “You haven’t gone swimming once this summer!”

“Well, maybe I just don’t like water.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I don’t!”

Katie sighs. “Fine. I’m going.”

“Whatever.”

Her sister stomps out of the room but doesn’t slam the door.

Kate rolls her eyes and turns the page. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to go swimming, it’s that she has cuts, and she can’t hide them.

*

It’s then that Katie gets a boyfriend.

His name is Nathan and he’s dark haired and small and a bit gangly. He’s loud and a bit obscene but sweet and Kate is often stuck at home as Katie goes out and has fun, and she had no idea that it was possible to be this lonely.

But sometimes it gets to her, that she’s alone, completely alone.

And being lonely is the worst, because no matter what, you always, always go through it _alone._

_*_

Katie is so distracted by Nathan and loud kisses and hand holding and the smell of a McDonald’s when it’s midnight and she likes this boy so much it’s not funny that she doesn’t notice.

She isn’t there at midnight when she cries, and Kate wishes desperately to be thirteen again because she wants her sister back.

Katie doesn’t notice when people start calling Kate names and she doesn’t notice the shadows under her eyes and she definitely doesn’t notice Kate crying herself to sleep every night.

It’s not her that notices, but someone else does.

*

His name is Alex.

He’s a senior, and she’s a junior, and he likes to watch. Watch the people move around, watch them laugh.

So he notices Kate.

She’s a shock against the vibrant colors the other people are wearing, in her black skinny jeans and dark hoodie with the hood pulled up and headphones in and she’s never ever smiling.

And when Alex sees the way she flinches when people touch her and the way she bites her lip like she’s holding back words whenever someone says something like ‘You’re so pretty!’

It scares him because he sees himself in her.

*

“Kate?”

She pretends to be asleep as her twin sneaks in, way later at night then she should be, and smelling like cologne and fast food.

She hears Katie yawn and get her pajamas on and brush her teeth and slide into bed.

Turning around and pressing her face into the pillow, she fights back tears.

She fails and by the time she goes to sleep she has to flip her pillow over because it’s too wet.

*

She doesn’t mean to cut too deep.

But when it happens, she stares at the cuts and the blood that’s inching it’s way down her arm and staining the white tile and she thinks maybe she should put a stop to it but doesn’t, watching it instead.

It takes a while for her to realize she’s getting a little dizzy that she might’ve cut too deep.

A fear flames inside her and shoots up, stumbling, and grabbing a towel, soaking it with warm water and pressing it against her arm, tears filling her eyes because she’s _scared,_ she’s completely terrified.

She suddenly isn’t sure if she wants to die anymore.

There’s a part of her that’s whispering  ‘ _let it bleed. Let yourself slip away. It will all end.’_

But she ignores it as best as she can and presses the towel to it more firmly, wincing at the sting.

She’s so, so stupid, she thinks as things get a bit blurry. The blood is still leaking out, and the towel is turning red.

She ties the towel tightly around her arm and presses harder, hissing.

It takes hours, it feels, for the bleeding to slow and she decides she’ll never do that again.

*

Alex wants to be sure before he actually speaks up.

So he watches.

Her twin is always going to sit at the table with the awkward boy and the other one (Kate) is sitting there, alone, picking at her food.

He likes watching.

(did he already say that?)

But yes.

He likes watching and he likes singing and he likes being himself.  He used to like to hurt, but he’s been better now.

But she’s not.

That’s the point of this watching, because she’s like he used to be. Which is bad. Really, really bad.

And maybe he’s still an outcast, and maybe everyone calls him ‘that Gaskarth guy’ and maybe he doesn’t really care, but he cares about her and it’s weird, because she’s a Ride twin, and everyone knows her name. Everyone knows the Ride twins, and he knows at least four seniors that have a crush on them.

It’s all very stupid and he doesn’t care.

Except about her.

And he doesn’t have a crush on her, no,  but he _cares._

And one of the thoughts running through his head is ‘ _No, not her. Me, but not her, anyone but her.’_

It’s a weird thing for Alex, to care.

*

He watches some more.

Yeah, he realizes it’s a little creepy, always watching, but it’s so endlessly fascinating, people. The way they laugh and smile and the different ways they greet each other (“Oh my GOD KELLY IT’S BEEN FOREVER!” “Hey, dude, wasup,”) and he just likes it.

Kate doesn’t greet anyone that way.

She sometimes smiles, but usually she just looks tired. And not the sleepy kind of tired, but the kind of tired when you just wanted it to all go away, the kind of tired that was hopeless and sad, and he knows all about that tired, he used to be so, so tired.

But he’s awake, now, and he needs to help her.

*

He talks to her first.

“Hi,” he says easily, sliding next to her at lunch.

She looks up, pushing the red brown waves out of her face. “Hi.”

Her voice is soft and it’s surprising, he hasn’t heard her speak yet.

He eats, watching as she pokes around her pasta (well, he doesn’t judge her for this- the pasta is rather revolting) and then he hugs her ( _idk he’s just so random)_ and she stiffens, and oh, she’s so small in his arms, slender and frail and the overwhelming urge to protect her is so strong that he almost doesn’t let her go.

*

They talk more after that.

He knows how hard it is to tell someone so he’s careful. He’s warm and loving and trusting, and no, he’s not acting. There’s something so fragile about her and he wants to help.

He isn’t sure what she thinks about, and it intrigues him.

“You getting the Ride twin?” A senior leers one day, and Alex rolls his eyes.

“No.”

“Why not? She’s hot.”

And sometimes people aren’t fascinating, sometimes their horrible and disgusting because they don’t know anything.

*

She talks about her twin a lot.

And he wonders why her twin isn’t here, and maybe she realizes what he’s asking because she nods to where her twin, who looks almost exactly like Kate, only different, is leaning against the dark haired boy, smiling and laughing and sometimes stopping to kiss him.

Ah, so her twin is in  love.

That, Alex can understand. When you fall in love nothing else matters.

He knows.

It’s one of these days that they talk about soul mates.

“I have two,” she says. She pulls up her hip just the tiniest bit (Alex knows why) and there’s a silvery blue moon there.

She pulls up her sleeve, just a little bit (Alex knows why) and there in blue lettering is:

“ _Hey, we’re taking on the world.”_

He stares at it for a second then lets her drop her wrist.

“Do you have any?”

He nods.

Because of course he does, only those who are really lucky find their soul mate before at least sixteen. Alex is eighteen.

The more tattoos show up, the longer it’s going to be till your find your soul mate. The earlier they show up the longer it’s going to be till you find your soul mate.

He shows her the rose on his hand, and the skeleton holding the trick or treating basket things on his forearm.

She gazes at them for a second.

“Wonder how long it’s gonna be,” he wonders.

She shrugs, her gaze trailing over to where her twin was laughing at the gangly guy, who was doing something with French fries and his nose.

That should be her, Alex thinks. Because when you’re fifteen you’re not supposed to be that sad. Oh god, please, why can’t things be better?

And there’s such sad acceptance in her green gaze that Alex can’t look at her eyes any longer and goes back to staring outside.

*

“How was Nathan today?” Kate asks quietly as Katie comes in to their room.

“Great!” Katie chirps as she got her pajamas on.

Kate watches quietly, wanting to say something but not sure what to say and not sure how to fix things.

She wonders if Katie can sense it in the room, everything that’s not being said, and she sort of wishes she does, at the same time she doesn’t.

Because Katie is her sister, and her twin, and her best friend and she always will be, and if she heard everything that wasn’t being said then she might break and Kate could not have that.

So she turns on her side and pulls the blanket around her chin and closes her eyes.

“Be careful around that Alex dude, alright?”

Kate squeezes her eyes shut and tugs the blanket over her ears.

“Okay.”

*

The next day it’s raining, and when Katie gets a ride with Nathan, Kate stands outside the door, and she’s getting cold.

And then a beat up Toyota pulls in and Alex opens the door and Kate rushes in thankfully, because really Alex is like her best friend, after Katie, and to her, Alex means a lot and even her twin can’t change that.

They get to school and the usual people cast distasteful looks at them and Alex wraps his arm around her shoulder and she’s thankful.

She knows they’re nothing more than friends but it’s nice, nice to know that he’s there, because no one else it.

*

They go to lunch and talk and it’s drafty in the cafeteria and the rain is hammering down outside and Alex is making a joke and she smiles.

“Do you wanna come over today?” He asks her, and she says yes, because he’s her best friend after Katie.

So after school, after Kate watches Katie drive off with Nathan and his friends and after someone pushes her down the concrete steps and Alex catches her and snarls at the guy who did it, she climbs into the beat up Toyota that smells like cigarettes and rain and the slightest hint of vanilla.

It isn’t a bad smell.

The drive is quiet and the rain is loud outside and the sound of sirens echoes and Kate wonders what emergency happened.

She’s just so tired.

And the rain isn’t as beautiful as it used to be, and the sound of the car isn’t as calming as she remembered and the sky isn’t as pretty as she thought it was.

And she’s just so hurt, and she doesn’t want to hurt anymore.

*

When they get to Alex’s house, he helps her up, and they head inside.

The house is cozy, with a small messy kitchen and an equally as messy living room.

“My mom is out,” Alex explains. “She has these weird cooking things like every day.”

Kate nods and he leads the way up to his room.

It’s clean, but cluttered, with a twin sized bed with a red comforter and a shelf of CDs against one wall, and a dresser with things like a comb and Axe and guy stuff on it.

They sit on the bed and Alex plays music and they talk, they talk and talk about everything.

“When I was sixteen,” Alex begins evenly. “I had issues.”

Kate stiffens just the slightest bit.

“I was depressed. And I…. well… I…. self harmed.”

And all the breath leaves Kate and she stands up, hugging Alex tightly, and all that’s in her head is ‘ _please, not him, please, no, not him. Anyone but him. Take me but not him.’_

He holds her close. “I know, okay? I know.”

And yes, of course he does.

She starts to cry and he holds her even tighter, and she’s clutching his shirt, tears making it wet.

He makes a hushing sound but she continues to cry.

“It’s gonna be alright,” he says. “You’re gonna be alright.”

They stand like that for a long time, and the rain is still falling and the lampshade is casting pretty shadows and he’s whispering “it’ll be okay” in her ear and she’s still crying.

*

When Kate gets home at two thirteen am, she expects Katie to be demanding where she was, who she was with, ect.

Katie’s bed is empty and her shoes aren’t by the door.

*

Another tattoo appears.

And this one…

This one is on the opposite wrist, over her scars. It’s a butterfly, with twisting blue wings and not a realistic butterfly, but a sort of line drawing.

It’s pretty.

She likes to look at it as she falls asleep.

Alex explains it to her the next day.

“You draw a butterfly on your wrist and name it after someone you love. If you cut, then the butterfly dies. If you don’t cut long enough that the Sharpies fades, then the butterfly is free.”

“But this will never fade.”

Alex shrugs. “It’s your tattoo.”

Kate gazes at it. “Can I name it Alex?”

And he turns bright pink and almost falls because no one has ever, ever wanted to name their butterfly after him. Because he’s _him,_ Alex Gaskarth and no one has ever really cared about him enough to do that.

He hugs her so hard she swears her ribs get crushed.

*

He hears the whispers in the halls.

Of course he does.

_“Freaks.”_

_“I bet they’re fucking.”_

_“Lucky bastard.”_

_“Man, Katie’s twin is so weird.”_

_“Look at them.”_

_“They’re like, really weird.”_

_“God, they’re freaks.”_

Kate hears them too, and they like to stick together because then when the whispers come, at least they do it together.

They like to hold hands, and talk almost silently as they ignore everyone else.

He knows when she gets upset, because she squeezes his hand a little too hard, and he knows it’s time to wrap his arm around her and tug her into his waist.

It’s just, she’s sort of like his sister to him and they’re sort of best friends and he sort of wants to protect her.

They like to hang out at the 7-11 that’s two blocks from school and drink the ninety nine cents hot chocolate and share ear buds. It’s how they work, in a way.

And sometimes Kate stares out the window, at the sleet outside because it’s January and sleeting and Alex grabs her attention again so she doesn’t get lost in her thoughts like he so often would.

They do homework under the harsh lights of the gas station, and buy too many of those gross slightly wet pastries and too much hot chocolate but by the time they leave they’re always giggly and just a little bit happier than they were before.

*

 _*_ The first time Alex talks to Katie is when she’s waiting for Nathan to pick her up and he’s waiting for Kate, so they can go to the 7-11 as usual.

The girl, who looks so uncannily like her sister, but so different because there’s no veil of grayness on her face and her green eyes are vibrant and happy.

“Be careful with my sister,” she warns, glaring at him. “She’s fragile.”

As Katie gets in the car, Alex watches them go and thinks,

_Be careful with my best friend, she’s broken._

_*_

“Westlife,” Kate shrugs.

Alex recoils in horror. “Ew, no, they’re so mainstream.”

“Mark’s gay,” Kate says matter of factly.

He snorts. “Yeah, alright.”

Her gaze wavers outside to the window and he follows them to where there’s a girl with dark brown hair wearing skinny jeans and a gray sweater.

“Rachel Gray,” Alex supplies.

“She’s pretty,” Kate says, shrugging.

“Mm,” he hums, because he’s not really interested in her.

But she’s walking with a boy, and Alex knows him, that’s Rian Dawson.

He’s good looking.

And so the two watch the girl and boy walk by before turning back to their hot chocolate and math homework.

*

The day they turn sixteen, Katie is out having dinner with Nathan and Alex takes Kate to McDonalds.

“Happy birthday,” he says, smiling.

He buys her McNuggets and they decide to go through the playland, and Alex is far too big for it and he gets stuck on the slide and Kate thinks she might have never laughed so hard in her life.

“It’s not funny,” he grumbles but he’s smiling a little.

“It’s funny,” she protests, clutching her stomach and grinning so hard her face hurt.

“Come on and help me!” Alex whines and still laughing, she shoves against him, and with a manly shriek Alex shoots down the side.

She’s laughing as she slides down and lands on top of him.

“Ooomf,” he groans.

After that they finish eating their food and then on a whim they buy kid’s meals and trade toys.

“What is this even?” Alex wonders as he makes the little plastic Barbie’s arms wave around.

“It’s from the Princess and the Pauper, duh,” Kate explains.

Later, as Alex drives her home, she thinks this might have been one of the best birthdays she’s ever had.

*

“Love you!”

“Love you too, Kat! See you tomorrow!”

Kate slams the door shut and tosses her bag into the corner, yelling a “Hi Mom!” before running up to her room.

Katie is sitting there on her phone.

Kate stops, because honestly she doesn’t know how to act in front of her sister.

“Hey,” Katie says.

“Hi.”

Kate awkwardly changed into sweats and a t-shirt. “So…. How’s Nathan?”

“He’s good,” Kate shrugs. “How’s Alex?”

And yeah, Kate knows everyone thinks her and Alex are a thing and she doesn’t care to correct them, because she thinks they’re all a little afraid of them, especially when they’re together.

“He’s good,” Kate murmurs, twisting a thread of blanket between her fingers.

Katie hums, and goes back to her friend.

Kate wonders what happened to them, because they were best friends and now they hardly ever talk to each other and it hurts, it still hurts and it will always hurt.

“Do you love him?” Kate asks.

Katie looks up and smiles softly. “Yeah… I do.”

And then Kate thinks of Luke, and his side swept blond hair and four freckles on his cheek and the way he  laughed and she remembers the four leaf clover tattoo on his wrist and she wishes she could tell Katie to be careful but she can’t, because they’re strangers now, and it’s a cold, icy silence that’s impossible to break.

 *

The first time they talk to Rachel and Rian, it’s a sunny afternoon, and Rian is funny and loud and Rachel is badass and quiet and smells like sun and cigarettes and something else, and she fascinates Kate.

Her skin is pale and her hair is dark and her eyes remind Kate of the sky, a light blue that seems endless and cool.

They eat lunch together and later, when Rachel kisses her Kate is helpless but if this is what helpless feels like then maybe she doesn’t want to be able to do anything.

Rachel tastes like sunshine and her hand is slim and she looks at Kate in a way no one has ever looked at her before.

Alex and Kate are still best friends, but now there’s four people at the lunch table, and they all talk quietly and ignore everything else.

“Westlife,” Kate says.

Rachel snorts. “So mainstream. They’re a bunch of plastics controlled by popular opinion.”

And Kate agrees, because she isn’t sure how to argue against that.

“I like the Format,” Kate says quietly. She loves the Format, loves them a lot. They’re her favorite band and she likes to listen to them late at night when she can’t sleep.

“Me too,” Rachel says happily. “Sam Means.”

“Nate Ruess.”

They giggle and Alex and Rian are chatting amiably next to them and Kate is feeling a little bit happier than she was before.

*

It’s sort of like having a best friend you can kiss.

They kiss a lot, Rachel and Kate. She can make Kate cry with laughter then hug her tightly and wipe away the tears.

She’s seen Rachel’s tattoos, the dark black ‘*’ and she knows to be careful, but it’s so nice to have her, and she knows it won’t last forever but she still wishes it would.

*

“I love you,” Rachel says, three weeks after they started dating.

“I love you, too,” Kate reassures her and they kiss again. They kiss a lot, but Kate doesn’t mind. Rachel still tastes like sunshine and cigarettes and her house is empty a lot.

She spends the night at her house and tells her mom she’s her friend. They order pizza and kiss on the couch a lot and watch The Breakfast Club and cuddle and fall asleep in Rachel’s bed, and in the morning Kate makes pancakes and wonders where her girlfriend’s parents are.

“You’re such a good cook,” Rachel praises.

Kate blushes. “Thanks.”

They watch another movie (‘Clueless’) and have a pillow fight that ends in kissing and before she knows it, it’s almost seven o’clock.

“Stay another night,” Rachel encourages her,

So Kate calls her mother and asks to stay another night and she says yes.

This time, they put on music and lye on the couch, talking.

“Have and Alex ever dated?” Rachel asks.

“No,” Kate says, “Of course not.”

Her girlfriend shrugs. “Everyone thinks you are.”

“Well we aren’t.”

Rachel nods.

“Have you and Rian ever dated?”

Rachel shakes her head. “No.”

She nods. “Alex and him are nice together.”

“Does Alex like him?”

“I think so. He’s always talking about him.”

Rachel stares at the ceiling. “I fucking hate soul mates.”

Kate jumps on the sharpness in her words. “What?”

“I hate them. I hate how we have to be with somebody, that we don’t have a choice. I hate it. Why can’t I be with someone I want to be with?”

She’s quiet.

Rachel wipes her eyes. “It’s just. I love you a lot, and I don’t see why we can’t stay together just because some fucking outside force says we can’t. It’s so _unfair.”_

So Kate takes a deep breath and tells her about Luke, and Perrie, and her, and she tells her how it’s like one day she woke up sad and now the sadness just won’t go away. She tells her about how Alex knows, and the scars on her skin and the butterfly and she tells her about Katie and Nathan and all the times she’s cried herself to sleep and the numbness.

And by the end Rachel is crying, and she hugs Kate hard and whispers “I love you” over and over again and they fall asleep with tear stained cheeks.

*

“You fucking freaks.”

Rian, Alex , Rachel and Kate look up.

It’s a boy, his name is Siva Kaneswaran, Kate’s pretty sure.

“You guys are so weird,” Siva  snarls. “You and your lesbo girlfriend and you faggots.”

And Kate stares back calmly, but she’s angry, so angry because he just insulted Alex and Rachel and Rian and they’re her only friends.

That’s when Katie shows up.

“Leave them the fuck alone,” her sister growls, glaring at Siva  with a terrifying glint in her eyes.

Siva  looks a little scared and backs away.

“What a jerk,” Katie mutters. She glances down at Rachel and Kate, who’s hands are entwined. “Hi… I’m Katie.”

“Rachel,” her girlfriend says.

“Rian.”

Alex doesn’t say anything.

She smiles at them. “It was lovely to meet you.”

And then a voice is shouting “My lady! Where’d you go?”

And Katie nods at them apologetically before going back to the table.

They’re all silent for a minute before Rian asks, “So that was your twin?”

Kate nods. “Yeah.”

“She seems nice.”

“Yeah.”

Rachel holds her hand a little tighter and for that, Kate is thankful.

*

7-11 hot chocolate is still what they do.

Sometimes, Alex brings Rian or Kate brings Rachel and sometimes all four of them are there, but mostly it’s just Alex and Kate.

The hot chocolate is sometimes only luke warm, and sometimes it’s too hot but it’s nice to have, and as summer comes along they get into slushies, because it’s too hot to drink hot chocolate.

Kate likes the Coca-Cola ones and Alex likes cherry, and they like sitting under the tree by the lake, and Kate is getting better, because she’s wearing tank tops now and the butterfly hasn’t died yet.

Alex is a little drunk off of not having any more school unless he wants to go to college and he’s feeling adventurous.

Rian, Kate, Rachel and Alex are all sitting on the bridge that stretches over the river and it’s hot, really hot, and mid June and Rachel and Kate are less hot in their tank tops and jeans but still hot, and Rian and Alex are in jeans and t-shirts. Their slushies are melting beside them and it’s really really hot.

“We should jump off the bridge,” Rian proposes.

“Okay,” Rachel agrees.

Kate and Alex are a bit more cautious because they aren’t as adventurous as them.

But then Kate decides it’s hot out and river looks cool and the concrete is burning to the touch, so she stands up and Rachel grins.

They take off their tank tops and climb over the railing.

“It’s really fun,” Rachel reassures her. “It’s scary at first but it gets better. I’ll jump off with you.”

So Kate takes her hand and Rachel jumps.

The free fall in short but long and she screams before shooting into the cool water.

Her head breaks the surface, laughing insanely and swims to the shore.

Rachel helps her up and kisses her and they’re both wet but they don’t care.

“That was so fun,” Kate exclaims when they get back on the bridge.

Alex looks terrified but Rian grabs his hand and jumps and doesn’t let go.

“Wanna do it again?” Rachel asks.

Kate nods excitedly they clamber back over the rail and stand on the edge.

Rachel takes her hand, and they take a deep breath before jumping over the side.

Kissing underwater is really wet but it’s also really, really nice.

*

“You guys again?”

The guy behind the counter, who’s name tag reads ‘Axle’ is grinning.

“Slushies, man,” Alex says, shrugging. They’re hair is wet from bridge jumping again. “I like your hair, by the way.”

The guy –Axle- touches his bright pink hair. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Alex says.

They go and sit outside on the bench as usual, drinking their slushies and basking in the sunlight.

“I wish Rachel was my soul mate,” Kate says suddenly.

Alex glances at her. “I know.”

She’s quiet for a minute. “I wish we could choose. I wish it wasn’t pre-determined. I wish we could fall in love with whoever we wanted and stay with them.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, just nods, and she knows he understands because he has Rian and they’re both just really fucked.

*

Alex gets another tattoo.

She thinks maybe their soul mates are musicians.

In small blocky letters on his shoulder are the words _“Just two kids, stupid and fearless.”_

“It could be a song lyric,” Alex says happily.

Rian is quiet and gazes at Alex with long looks and sad smiles and Kate bites her lip and wishes everything would fall into place painlessly.

*

They don’t really intentionally wear black.

But she doesn’t like wearing the bright skinny jeans and striped shirts she used to wear and likes band t-shirts and black jeans and she likes eyeliner.

But she doesn’t dye her hair, nor does Rachel, because she loves Rachel’s hair and Rachel loves her hair and they decided they wouldn’t change it.

*

When Rachel finds out, it’s when Kate is spending a weekend at her house, which has become a sort of monthly thing.

The cuts aren’t that fresh, a couple of days old, and the ones on her hips Rachel finds when they’re kissing one time.

She sits up and sends Kate a sad look. “Please. Don’t do it ever again, Kit.”

And Kate is shaking. “I don’t think I can stop.”

So then Rachel gets up and grabs a razor and puts it in Kate’s hand. “Cut me like you would cut yourself.”

But she stares at her girlfriend with big eyes. “I _can’t hurt you like that.”_

And then Kate gets it.

*

Of course it’s hard and grueling and there are some nights when all she wants to do is lock herself in the bathroom and feel the sting of a razor but she resists and Rachel calls her every night that she isn’t actually by her side and for the first time, Kate doesn’t feel as alone.

“Do you want to come on a double date?”

Kate looks up as Katie stands there. “What?”

“Do you want to come on a double date with me and Nathan? Like, you and Rachel?”

She knows Rachel will probably kill her for this but. “Sure.”

And then Katie smiles and hugs her and they start to plan it, and Katie laughs a lot and they fall back into the pattern they had before.

That night Kate falls asleep with a genuine smile on her face and maybe things are starting to fall into place.

*

Alex is left alone with Katie.

He isn’t even sure how he got here, and there’s this awkward silence and he shifts, wishing Kate would just come out already.

“How is she?” She asks.

And he wonders if she knows, if she knows what Kate’s like now.

“Good,” Alex says truthfully, because she is good, she’s getting better.

Katie nods.

A white sleek car screeches next to them, and Katie nods at Alex and hops into the car.

He watches her go and wonders how this would turn out, in the end.

*

The double date is a little awkward at first.

Kate and Rachel stay quiet and Katie looks lost and Nathan shifts uncomfortably.

But then they start to talk, and Kate realizes that maybe Nathan isn’t as bad as she originally thought. He laughs a lot and he eats a little too much but he’s nice and kind and takes good care of Katie.

Kate gets up to go to the bathroom and Katie meets her there.

“Hi,” Katie says softly.

They stare at each other.

And then Katie hugs her and she hugs her back and maybe she’s getting her twin back.

That night they stay up late talking and giggling and it’s nice, it’s really, really nice.

*

The next day Katie suggests coordinating their outfits.

Kate is surprised, but says yes, and they show up in red sundresses and red ballet flats, and everyone is a little surprised because no one’s seen them matched since middle school.

The first day of school after summer break, Rachel finds Kate and kisses her hard.

“Don’t ever leave me,” she commands. “If you do I’ll… I’ll… kill myself.”

And Kate’s eyes widen because that’s something heavy.

But she kisses her and whispers, “I’ll never leave you.”

*

Another tattoo appears.

It’s black-blue, four dashes and one dash through.

A tally mark.

She wonders what it means, but then again she always wonders what they mean, so that’s nothing new.

Rachel looks so sad when Kate tells her, and says she got another tattoo.

It’s then that she shows her new tattoo.

It’s an ‘&’ symbol.

And Kate freezes, because she’s seen a boy with a tattoo in the exact same spot, with the exact same tattoo only backwards.

And she’s shocked, and it’s just like Luke.

Except she wasn’t ever truly in love with Luke, but she was truly in love with Rachel, and it hurts, it hurts so much.

They’re quiet it for a minute.

“What does it feel like?”

Rachel’s quiet for a second. “It feels like… everything is falling into place. There’s this feeling in your chest, like… I don’t know. It’s magical, Kate, you’ll understand when it happens to you.”

Rachel kisses her one last time,  and she tastes like sunshine and cigarettes and her hand is slim in hers and her eyes are dark and her eyes are dark and she loves her a lot.

And then she’s walking down the hallway, and she doesn’t look back.

*

She spends the night at Alex’s, and she hasn’t stopped crying for a full hour, because it’s just like Luke, and she’ll never, ever forget the way Rachel’s hair fell into her eyes or the way her lips felt underwater or the way they kissed in an empty house on  a cold Saturday night.

Alex holds her tightly against her chest and closes his eyes, and wishes it was different.

And he knows they should both probably get some sleep because there’s school in the morning and she’ll probably end up wearing one of his t-shirts and hoodies again because she refuses to wear clothing without washing it and maybe people will go back to think they’re a couple and they’ll get ninety cent hot chocolate from 7-11 and talk to the cashier and continue doing homework under the harsh lights and talking and it’ll be nice, but they’re both a little more broken now.

And maybe Rian and Rachel will walk by, and they’ll both wonder how the two didn’t see their tattoos before, but whatever, it still aches.

He’s so much taller than her, he thinks as they sit on the floor, and she’s leaning on his shoulder, eyes still glassy and swollen. She’s so much smaller than him, and slimmer than him and more fragile than him.

And then he kisses her.

He didn’t plan to, and he thinks they both sort of know nothing is going to happen but the taste of her tears are on her lips and her hair is soft under his hands and she’s so, so small and breakable.

They fall asleep on his bedroom floor, legs entwined and her hair is spread out over the floor and the windows have frosted  up and they’re sharing a blanket, a fluffy green fleece one.

And maybe this was how it was supposed to be, in the end.

*

When they wake up the next morning, their eyes are foggy and sleepy and they stumble downstairs.

Alex plugs in the coffee machine, missing the electricity outlet several times and Kate falls back asleep on the couch for five minutes.

He wakes her up by sitting on her and she laughs tiredly, shoving him off. “Ugh, gerroff Alex.”

“Mine name isn’t Gerroff Alex,” he says cheekily.

She rolls her eyes and that’s when they discover the box of muffins Alex’s mom left for them.

There’s a brief food fight and sesame seed muffin crumbs are everywhere.

After they sweep it up, Alex randomly picks her up and carries her upstairs.

“S’pose you want clothes?”

Kate shrugs. “Yeah.”

So Alex lends her clothes and she disappears into his bathroom to take a shower.

While she’s in there he cleans up a little, putting the fluffy fleece green blanket back on his bed and setting the coffee cups in the sink.

He gets dressed and heats the car up. It’s freezing outside today, and there’s a coating of frost on the grass outside. It crunches under his feet and the Toyota is fucking _cold._

He turns it on, shivering, and runs back inside.

“School,” he grumbles, wishing Kate was free like he was.

Of course he won’t stop picking her up and dropping her off, but it would be nicer to spend all day together.

He’s just made another cup of coffee when she comes downstairs, in her jeans she probably left her some other time and his t-shirt and jacket and smelling like his shampoo.

“Let’s go,” he says, opening the car door for her.

They don’t talk about the kiss.

*

The day Katie and Kate turn seventeen, Nathan breaks up with Katie.

Kate doesn’t leave her sister for two days, because Katie is heartbroken, crying and crying and saying things her and Nathan did and wishing soul mates didn’t exist.

And Kate knows exactly what she’s feeling and she doesn’t leave her side.

“I’m so sorry, about Luke and Rachel,” Katie sighs. “It hurts, okay? And to go through this twice…”

Kate nods. “You’ll be alright, Kat. It hurts so bad at first but you’ll get better.”

Katie trusts her sister and they spend the evening watching movies and eating birthday cake. And wow, they’re sixteen and they’re best friends again and maybe for two years they weren’t but they’re alright now.

*

Alex is the one who tells her about the band.

“A Rocket To The Moon,” he says. “They’re pretty good.”

She nods. “I’ll check them out.”

And she does.

She hasn’t been obsessed with a band since Westlife and this band is irritatingly obscure and she can’t find any facts.

And she’s so shallow, crying over a song.

_He’s gonna kiss you and you’re gonna feel the world stand still…_

_*_

Now, Katie and Kate meet at the table and go out for lunch, because their seniors and can do that now.

Before they leave, Nathan’s friends wave to them and Katie waves back but she doesn’t invite them along.

Her and Alex grow a little closer and Kate is happy, because her two best friends are getting along and why wouldn’t she be happy?

Louis Tomlinson is another boy Katie waves to.

But then he comes with them.

Alex and Kate are a little lost at what to do, because Louis is wearing bright skinny jeans and striped shirts and he’s loud and sassy and he makes them laugh and he’s not very nice but at the same time exceedingly friendly. And he eats a ridiculous amount of pizza and the Pizza Hut staff look fairly appalled.

Katie and him get alone seamlessly and Alex and Kate exchange looks and decide that maybe Louis is alright, and maybe they can be friends.

*

So now 7-11 is Louis, Katie, Alex and Kate sitting under the harsh lights doing homework and laughing a little and Louis has a feminine face. Well, Alex isn’t doing homework but he’s helping Kate and them because that’s what friends do.

He has flying birds across his arm and little quotation marks on his wrist and a compass on his arm and a tea cup right above it and there’s more but she isn’t sure what.

“I’m done!” Louis exclaims, shutting his book with a loud ‘clap!’

Kate rolls her eyes. “About the time.”

Which is a fair point, since for the last half an hour Alex and Kate have been playing hangman while Katie and Louis struggled with their homework.

It’s a good life.

“We’re going to go re fill,” Katie and Kate say in unison and Alex has yet to get used to that because it’s a little creepy as it is cool.

“Three days till Christmas break,” Louis says happily.

Alex remembers last Christmas, Kate had come over and they had given each other mixed tapes and his mom had made gingerbread for them and they had watched Christmas specials.

It was fun, but maybe it could be even better this year because Kate wasn’t as sad. At the same time, he’ll sort of miss it.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “You guys should come over Christmas Eve.”

“That’s my birthday,” Louis says.

“Oh,” Alex pauses. “Alright.”

“You guys should come over to my house,” Louis says. “You can have like, cake and meet my sisters.”

Alex has a feeling Louis’ sisters are going to be cute and they’re going to wrap him around their pinky fingers, and since he’s already controlled completely by Kate he could probably do without that.

But he agrees anyways.

“Turning eighteeeeeeeen,” Louis sings loudly.

Axle sighs loudly from the counter and Alex laughs, because it’s well known fact their cashier is annoyed by Louis’ loudness. And maybe from the fact that he always criticizes Axle’s pink hair, but whatever.

Katie and Kate come back and take their seat backs.

“Kaatteee,” Katie whines. “Help me with this problem.”

Kate leans over the table and her shirt rides up. There’s scars on her hips, and they’re completely healed over, and it’s obviously been a long while since she’s done it.

Alex smiles.

 

 

 


	2. honey

When Christmas break starts, they stop going to the 7-11.

Instead they end up at either Alex or the twins’ house, sprawled out on the floor and chatting.

Kate likes it, especially when it gets late. The heavier the eyelids the more sincere the words.

Her mom knows Louis is gay and also knows Alex is like a brother, and it very relaxed about them staying over.

Kate loves it. Loves staying up till 3 am drinking too much Pepsi and watching re runs of Friends and Louis laughing at Ross’s 90’s clothes and Katie complaining about how Rachel and Joey should get together and Alex saying something about how he bets Chandler and Monica are soul mates.

And Kate just likes to listen to them and smile, because she loves her friends a lot.

*

“My mom made cookies!” Kate exclaims.

“Yay,” Louis says shortly, jumping up and almost falling down the stairs.

Alex rolls his eyes and Kate laughs and Katie shoves by them.

“I call a Christmas tree one!”

“If I don’t get a ghost one I’m going to kill someone,” Alex calls down menacingly. They don’t really know why the twins’ mom makes ghost cookies on Christmas, but it’s whatever.

“I want a snowman!” Kate yells.

“We’ll get the cookies but you need to move your own lazy asses to get milk,” Louis says sassily as he heads back upstairs.

Kate rolls her eyes and the two go downstairs and gets milk.

Another tattoo appears, suddenly. Just like that.

It’s on Alex’s forearm, a single ‘JB’.

“Maybe it means Justin Bieber,” Louis snorts.

Alex whacks him, but quickly turns white. “Kate? You don’t think it’s Justin Bieber, do you?”

“Well if it then you just ruined millions of girls’ dreams, “ she says grimly.

Alex glares at her.

She laughs. “No, I don’t think it’s Justin Bieber, Alex. Calm down.”

“Okay, good,” Alex sighs, looking relieved.

Louis snorts again.

“I wonder what my five means,” Katie sighs.

Kate looks up. “What?”

Katie points to a spot on her forearm where a curly ‘5’ is inscripted.

Kate shows her the tally mark.

“Five…”

“I wonder what it means,” Kate sighs. “When did you get this?”

“Summer,” Katie says.

“Same here. A five during the summer.”

It still doesn’t click.

*

“I love Christmas movies!”

“I don’t,” Louis grumbles.

They all ignore him.

“Let’s start with Rudolph the Reindeer,” Katie says, putting it in.

“Claymation,” Louis mutters in distaste. “Ew.”

They keep ignoring  him.

“I’m liking how we always have cookies,” Alex says, taking a bite of said cookie. “Like half the time I don’t even know where these cookies come from.”

“I’m pretty sure your mom made them.”

“Whatever. It’s still nice. I’m like, ‘Man I’m hungry-‘ and then cookies.”

Kate laughs but shushes as Clarisse sings about tomorrow on the TV.

“This is ridiculously outdated,” Louis snaps.

“Just because you, for some reason, don’t like Christmas movies doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for everyone else.”

Louis looks vexed but shuts up.

By the time the movie ended Louis, Alex, Katie and Kate were all squeezed on to the couch, the cookies gone and captivated by the scene on screen.

“What next?” Alex asks, stretching.

“Ow,” Katie mutters as he accidently elbows her. “Um, how about It’s A Wonderful Life?”

“Sure,” Kate agrees. “But Louis has to put it in.”

“But I don’t even like Christmas movies!” Louis sputters.

They all send him irritated looks and he groans loudly, shoving random limbs off him so he can stand up and put it in.

“Be thankful,” he says before lifting up Alex’s leg, some of Kate’s hair and Katie’s arm up so he can sit back down.

“Heh, this is cuddle puddle,” Kate crows, pleased.

“No,” Louis says. “Never, ever say that again. Please.”

“Cuddle puddle cuddle puddle cuddle puddle!” She sings.

“Why am I even friends with you people?” Louis wonders out loud.

“Because you love me,” Katie states matter of factly.

Louis grumbles and they all stay quiet as the movie starts.

*

When Louis’ birthday comes around, they all dress up.

Mostly, it’s because they want the Tomlinson family to like them and respect them, so they dress up.

“Why am I so nervous?” Kate whispers to Alex.

He takes her hand. “I don’t know; I am too.”

They take a deep breath and ring the doorbell.

A kind faced woman with dark hair answered the door. “You must be Louis’ friends! Come in!”

The house is warm and smells good. It’s all very cozy.

Two small girls are sitting on the couch.

“This is Daisy and Phoebe,” Mrs. Tomlinson explains. “They’re twins.”

“So are we!” Katie and Kate exclaim in unison.

They go to sit next to the twins while Mrs. Tomlinson yells, “Louis! Your friends are here!”

Thundering footsteps came down and their friend in red striped trousers and a blue and white striped shirt appeared down stairs, bronze fringe combed and looking very Louis-esque.

“Happy birthday!” Katie exclaims, hugging him.

“Thanks,” he says.

They all tell him happy birthday and then he asks his mother if they can go up to his room.

“Your mom is pretty cool,” Alex says as they climb the stairs.

“Yeah, she is,” Louis agrees.

His room is a stereotypical bedroom; blue walls, a dark blue comforter and a dresser with Axe and things on it. It’s tidy but somehow messy at the same time.

“My mom’s making chocolate cake,” Louis says.

The door opens and a girl who looks around fourteen peeks in.

“This is Lottie,” Louis says. “And that behind her is Felicite, but we call her Fizzy.”

Kate nods, filing the information away for later. “Okay.”

Louis shoos his sisters away. “Guys, I’m eighteen!”

They all cheer and hug him and Alex smugly reminds them he’s almost nineteen.

“You’re an adult,” Katie fakes cry.

“They grow up so fast,” Kate agrees, pretending to sob into her twin’s shoulder.

Louis glares at them.

*

Dinner is great.

Mrs. Tomlinson (“Call me Jay”) was obviously an amazing good cook and the food was savory, and the cake was absolutely heavenly.

They all praise her for it, and are rewarded for it when the next day Louis stomps up to them and informs them his mother hasn’t stopped talking about them.

“Oops?” Alex says. “Didn’t mean to be so lovable.”

Louis snorts and then they head into the library, because they all have books to get.

It’s calmly quiet inside, since it’s a library and they all split up into different sections, Katie to science fiction, Kate to romance novels, Alex to the CDs and Louis to the mystery novels.

They all have huge stacks of things and the librarian looks impressed and a little bit shocked. “That’s a lot of stuff.”

“Not much to do,” Louis shrugs.

She nods and takes his library card, sliding it in and out.

After they’ve loaded the books into Alex’s car, they can’t decide where to go.

There’s snow all over the ground and Louis is complaining loudly about how cold his feet are in his TOMs and Katie is shoving snow down his neck and Kate and Alex are standing back, quiet because well Louis and Katie are the loud ones in the group and they prefer to be quiet and not as bouncy.

“We could go to the park,” Katie suggests, and even though it’s freezing outside and the snow is probably turning the playground into slabs of ice, they all agree.

When they get there, Louis decides he wants to ride down the slide in Katie’s lap and Kate and Alex go to sit menacingly on the swings.

Neither venture goes well.

Katie flies of the end of the slide, landing on the snowy ground and limbs tangled up with Louis’ and snow in their hair.

“Ugh,” Louis mutters, spitting a pebble out of his mouth.

“You wanted to do it,” Katie points out, standing up and brushing the snow off her clothes.

Louis glowers. “Shut up.”

She laughs at him.

He hoists himself up and promptly slips on the ice and collapses back on Katie.

Meanwhile, Kate didn’t seem to know what the meaning of menacing is because she decides to swing as high as she can and squealing every time it goes particularly high.

That is until her phone flies out of her pocket and shatters on the ground.

She looks traumatized.

Seriously. There are tears.

Alex can pull of the whole menacing thing flawlessly but he makes a little girl cry so he stops and makes his eyes outrageously big and starts talking about ponies.

By the time Katie and Louis decide it’s time to go, Kate is pretty sure girl wants to marry Alex instead of running away screaming.

That is, until something falls from the sky and shatters right next to her (which is of course, Kate’s phone).

“Well that was an eventful afternoon,” Louis says happily. “Where should we go to lunch?”

Since it’s really the only place they can afford (plus, Alex has a slight obsession for the frappes) they trudge, wet and cold back to the car.

The smell of the fast food place is intoxicating and it’s warm, and they all collapse in the back of the restaurant in a booth, still damp and breathless and pink cheeked.

“Oh look,” Louis says casually. “I’ve got another tattoo.”

Kate leans across the table where the word ‘Oops!’ has appeared in black.

“I wonder what it means,” she ponders.

“Stop leaning over me,” Alex says irritably.

Kate sits back down with a thump and bites her thumb. “I wish I knew what my tattoos mean.”

“Don’t we all,” Louis says, and it’s not a question.

They’re all quiet for a minute.

And then Louis throws a fry at Alex and it’s all okay again.

*

School gets back in.

“You know,” Katie says as they all walk down the hallway, well, Kate, Katie and Louis. Alex is probably at home, pining away and wishing he was still in school. “I think that when we’re out of school, we should move to London.”

Louis perks up considerably. “Oh my god, yes! Please!”

Kate laughs at him. “We have a flat, and have really cushy couches.”

“And super fast internet.”

“And mini fridges everywhere.”

“And we’ll stock it with just Pepsi  and Nutella.”

“And host wild parties.”

“And go to the London Eye.”

“And meet our soul mates at a coffee shop.”

“And use only scented toilet paper.”

The twins stare at Louis.

He holds his hands up. “Fine. No scented toilet paper then.”

They roll their eyes at him.

It becomes a game, though. A game Alex is informed of that day when they go out to Pizza Hut for lunch and its fun, and silly but at the same time they’re completely serious.

*

The rest of the school year passes in a sort of blur, and Kate spends the mornings with Louis and her sister and afternoons with Alex and the day they turn eighteen, she’s lost in memories, like going to McDonalds and Alex getting stuck in the slide and bridge jumping and Rachel and yeah, she’ll always be a bit in love with the girl.

She still sees her around school, holding hands with Rian and smiley and Kate wonders if she still tastes like cigarettes and sunshine and if her and Rian ever kiss underwater and she just wonders a lot of things.

But now, she’s eighteen and an adult, and swears that she’ll be a better person from now on.

Alex and Louis make them a slightly burnt cake with too sweet frosting that says in messy letters, “Happy birthday Katie & Kate!”

And Kate almost cries because it might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for her.

Her mother, Louis and Alex all sing happy birthday and Louis makes weird faces at them and her mother tears up and Alex just silently hugs her, and she knows what he’s trying to say.

She looks down at her butterfly, which is still alive and still named after Alex and thinks, ‘Thank you.’

*

The flat doesn’t have mini fridges, and isn’t just stocked with Nutella and Pepsi, but it does have cushy couches, and enough bedrooms and big windows and it’s close to Uni and it’s home, and they have several versions of Monopoly to play at night (the Simpsons version –blame Louis- the original version and the M&M version, which Kate can’t even begin to understand the point of) and a shamefully out dated TV and a medium sized kitchen and fluffy rugs Kate and Katie went out and bought immediately.

Kate’s started taking cooking lessons, so they aren’t just eating take out pizza everyday, and Alex’s gotten a job in a record store nearby.

Kate and Katie are working in a coffee shop, a cozy one right around the block with small tables and fairy lights  and it always smells good and everyone there is supremely nice and the uniforms are cute.

And it took  all summer to save it up for this place, and for the first couple of weeks they’re completely broke and living off rice, but it’s worth it.

When it’s late (but not too late, because they have work in the morning) they stay up and help Kate clean the kitchen from dinner and then they sit around the mismatched couches, wrapped up in blankets and talking or watching TV (Louis is insisting on taking them through the “Rom-Com Tour”- they’re on You’ve Got Mail) or playing one of their versions on Monopoly.

And it’s nice, it’s really, really nice.

*

This is when Kate gets another tattoo.

It’s bigger, which excites her because that means she’s gonna find her soul mate soon and wow, she really can’t wait.

It’s an ash tree, and it’s on her lower back with it’s branches out spread.

She likes it a lot, which is a good thing because it’s not like you can get rid of them.

She skips out of her bedroom in her sheer shirt and calls, “Guys! I’ve got another tattoo!”

Freezing, because there’s a guy with bleached blonde hair and blue eyes and pale skin and he’s starting at her and she’s suddenly self-conscience, because she’s only wearing yoga pants and this weird shirt that’s all gauzy and it’s meant to have a shirt underneath it.

“This is Niall,” Louis says, laughing at her under his hand.

She glares at him and turns around, stomping away and back into her bedroom.

“Um… who was that?” she hears the boy, Niall, ask in a thick Irish accent.

“Kate,” Louis says in amusement.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“NO!” Kate screams. “LOUIS IS GAY!”

“Thanks for telling him, babe!” Louis calls back.

Kate rolls her eyes and puts on a t-shirt and goes back out. “Sorry about that. Nice to meet you, Niall.”

The boy giggles and shakes her hand. “Lovely to meet you too.”

“Where is everyone else?”

Louis shrugs. “Uhm,  I think Alex is at the record store and Katie’s on her shift.”

Kate nods and keeps quiet and Louis and Niall get into more and more conversation, getting on alarmingly well.

“How’d you meet Niall?”

“Acting,” Louis shrugs.

“What…?”

“I’m gonna be an actor,” Louis explains.

“Ah,” Kate nods. Louis’ been through several dreams in the past month, each one a little bit more unlikely than the last. It’s a little bit ridiculous but then, so is Louis so.

It seems Niall is more Louis’ partner in crime than manager, and they spend the afternoon goofing off, hiding porn under Alex’s pillow (Kate stifles a laugh at this because it’s funny, c’mon) and Niall laughs at every single one of Louis’ jokes and Louis looks a little bit thrilled.

Kate likes Niall, though, and his Irish accent is charming and he laughs a little bit too much and he’s wearing this absolutely hideous white sweater with a reindeer on it and white pants and it makes it look like a pant suit which just makes it worse.

But at the same time, he carries a sort of innocence. And not the usual innocence (too many sex jokes have already left his mouth) but the kind of innocence that was naïve. He hasn’t seen the worst of the world and still gazes at everything with wide, unclouded eyes.

She likes it.

Because her and Alex will never look at the world the same way that Niall does, ever, because they’ve seen too much and felt too much and done too much. And Louis has something in his eyes that says he was never pure to begin with and Katie, Katie still has some of that but some of it’s gone now, too. She suspects it’s from Nathan, but still.

Anyways, Niall is nicely naïve and loud and she likes being around him, it’s nice.

Alex gets home around five and hugs Kate hello. It’s a bit hard on them, spending eight hours apart and sometimes more. And sometimes, Kate is gone before Alex gets up in the morning and not back till he’s fast asleep on the couch.

Sometimes, when that happens, Kate will get into her pajamas and crawl into his bed, curling up under the blankets and closing her eyes.

It’s been a while since they first met, when Alex slid next to her at lunch and hugged her. It’s been a while since she came over to his house for the first time, a while since she’s gotten into his car when it was raining and smelled like cigarettes and a little bit like vanilla. It’s been a while since it was only them at 7-11 and it’s just been a while.

But, no matter how long it’s been they will always be best friends, perhaps a little more (and they’re not quite sure what direction that goes in) and Alex misses Kate when she’s gone all day just like she misses him when he’s gone at the record shop.

He likes the nights she comes home a late, just a little bit, because whenever Kate crawls into his bed he sleeps soundly and the whole night through.

There’s just something a little different about them then everyone else, and it’s just kind of special.

*

Niall is over a lot.

Alex and Kate discuss it, wondering who exactly Niall is.

“Maybe he’s Louis’ soul mate,” Alex suggests. “Wouldn’t put it past him to not tell us.”

Kate rolls her eyes. “They don’t have matching tattoos.”

“That we can see.”

She ignores his suggestive wink. “He eats a lot.”

Indeed he does. The first time he stayed over for dinner he had three servings of the pasta Kate had made (she’s getting better at this whole cooking thing) and then moved on to devour cookies too.

They didn’t mind; Kate cooked plenty of food, they were just making observations.

“He’s…. innocent,” Kate says, hoping Alex got what she was trying to say.

He did, of course, because he’s Alex and he gets everything she’s trying to say.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “He is, isn’t he? It’s refreshing.”

And yeah, Alex always knows exactly what she’s trying to say.

*

The next day is one of those days.

Kate has the morning shift, so she’s up by five forty five and out the door by six twenty.

The sun is just beginning to shine as she opens the flat building door and steps outside.

There are gray clouds just beginning to come in, and yeah, London is very rainy but it’s whatever.

The coffee shop has the board turned to ‘Closed’ and Kate unlocks the door with the key chain that has a little coffee cup on it and slips inside.

She flips on the lights and gets to work, brewing coffee and taking the chairs off the tables and plugging in the fairy lights and lighting tea candles and setting the cushions out on the bay window.

It’s a really nice coffee shop, and despite the early mornings she likes her job.

Once the shop is ready, she slips into the washroom to change into her uniform, which compromises of a skirt that goes right above her knees and a t-shirt and a cute little apron.

It looks kind of a lot like Rachel Green’s uniform and sometimes it’s fun to pretend she is Rachel, with her very own Ross and everything.

She finishes changing and flips the ‘Closed’ sign to ‘Open’ and goes behind the counter.

It takes about fifteen minutes before the morning flow of customers start rolling in. They have their own usual customers and new ones that are bound to show up in London.

And yeah, Kate loves this little independent coffee shop.

*

It’s almost two o’clock and she guesses everyone is at work, and she’s sitting behind the counter, texting Alex and drinking a cappuccino.

The door opens with the tinkle of the bells and she quickly jumps up, smoothing down her apron and making sure she doesn’t spill her coffee.

Two boys, one with purple hair and dark eyes and one with honey colored hair that waves down around his ears and pretty eyes and pink lips, and he smiles at Kate.

There’s a lovely feeling in her stomach she can’t place, something warm and fuzzy and right, and she isn’t sure what it means.

“Black coffee,” the pretty boy says.

She manages to find her mouth again. “Really? Out of all these special, made to order drinks  you choose the simplest thing?”

The boy laughs. “We’re kind of in a hurry…”

Kate smiles. “Oh, right. Well I’ll get to work.”

“Wait, don’t you need my name?” the pretty boy asks.

“There isn’t really anyone else here to get confused with….”

“It’ s Ashton.”

Kate smiles at him and writes it down on the side of the cup. “Does your friend want anything?”

The other boy, the one with the purple hair who had otherwise been quiet, steps forward. “Yeah, sorry. I don’t trust Ash to order for me.”

Ashton rolls his eyes.

“But yeah, I’ll have a caramel mocha.”

“Sounds good,” Kate says. “Name?”

“Michael.”

She writes it down and gets to work, pouring the plain black coffee into a foam cup and fitting the lid on it, the coffee shop’s logo on the side.

“Have you worked her a while?” he asks.

“Nah, I just moved here a couple of months ago.”

“Yeah? From where?”

It’s then she notices his Australian accent.

“Um, Doncaster.”

“That’s cool,” he smiles. “I’m pretty sure I know someone from there. It’s a very nice little town.”

“Yeah it is,” she agrees fondly. “Is Australia nice?”

He smirks. “How did you know I was from Australia?”

“Accent, mate,” she says bluntly.

He laughs. “Yeah, I suppose it kind of gave it away. It’s hot but I’m used to it.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Ashton,” she calls, and he turns, smiling widely and his dimples flickered.

He was just so pretty.

And the lovely feeling is back inside her, fuzzy and nice and good, incredibly good, like she belongs, and she doesn’t ever want it to leave.

She hands him his coffee and their fingers brush and a pleasant tingling shoots through her.

Michael gets his drink and checks his watch. “Ashton, we really need to go.”

Ashton nods, turning away. “Right. Bye…”

“Kate,” she supplies.

“Bye Kate!”

And then the pretty boy leaves and the warm feeling of belonging are gone.

*

Kate gets off work at nine and is starving, so she stops by a Taco Bell before going home.

The flat is asleep as she unlocks the door, stepping in and hanging up her coat.

Louis is sprawled out, snoring, on the sofa and she snorts, tip toeing by and into her room.

She changes into her plaid pajamas and tank top and walk quietly back out down the hallway and goes into Alex’s room.

She lifts up the corner of the blanket and sliders under.

He snorts and opens his eyes sleepily. “Hey, Kate.”

“Hey,” she whispers back.

“Work?”

“It was good.”

He snuffles. “Mm.”

So then she closes her eyes as the dilated moonlight filters through the window and falls asleep.

*

Tomorrow is her day off.

She cooks eggs and bacon for breakfast, and Louis talks animatedly about his acting and Katie nods along happily. Alex watches in amusement and she just sighs but doesn’t say anything against it.

“We should play Monopoly,” Louis says.

They all agree and crowd around the kitchen table as Katie fetches the original version of it.

“I’m the master of this,” Alex says proudly.

“Hahaha, no,” Kate corrects. “I am.”

“Nope,” Alex retorts.

“Well looks like we’ll see this time,” Kate smirks.

“You’re on!”

Louis laughs at them and makes his car zoom around Go over and over again.

“I passed Go like, fifty million times. Do I get money yet?”

“Lou, we’ve been over this. It doesn’t count.”

“Ugggh.”

Kate looks rather like she’s solving a murder and not playing Monopoly, but whatever.

Alex looks like he’s about to rape the board which is a bit scary but whatever, it’s Alex. They’re all a bit competitive.

“I wonder if you’ll ever see the guy from the coffee shop again,” Alex wonders.

Kate knows what he’s doing. “Stop distracting me!”

“I’m  doing no such thing.”

“Yes you are. You want me to start talking about his dimples and his gorgeous hair and his eyes, oh my god, his eyes-“

Kate stops, realizing exactly what she was doing.

Alex smirks and she glares at him, because somehow he managed to buy Boardwalk while she was distracted and that’s not really fair, is it?

“Ha,” Alex says shortly.

She purses her lips. “That’s it. I’ve lost. He got Boardwalk. It’s all over.”

Louis snorts at them, Alex looks smug and Katie just laughs.

*

It’s then that Kate meets Jack.

He comes into the coffee shop on one of the not so early mornings, in a rugged jacket and jeans and shaggy hair and orders a vanilla bean mocha.

“Name?” She asks, yawning.

“Jack, Barakat,” he tells her.

She nods and writes it in loopy handwriting on a napkin.

Once again it’s that time, around two o’clock and there’s almost no one in the shop and then Jack starts talking to her.

“Knock knock.”

A little confused, she says, “Who’s there?”

“Nine eleven.”

“Nine eleven who?”

“I said you’d never forget!”

He laughs and Kate smiles, and then he starts talking rapidly.

“My friend Zach recommended this coffee shop. He said it had a really good atmosphere. And a hot barista. But like, I’m kind of gay so like, I guess you’re pretty but I don’t really care. Wait, no, I care, but I don’t care, care, you know? Anyways. All these coffee drinks look really good but I completely suck at making decisions, so like. Yeah.”

Kate’s pretty sure she’s never heard anyone say that much in one breath ever.

She just sort of gapes at him and he smiles at her. “So um, yeah. I’m Jack, by the way.”

“Yeah,” she says. “Cup.”

“Oh yeah, right. I love that, the names on the coffee cup. Like you could write little messages on it and stuff, like little notes.  Oh my god, you could have a whole romance through coffee cup notes! Like not even really talk unless it’s through those. Shit, that would be fucking adorable. Fuck.”

She raises an eyebrow, a little charmed by his ramblings.

“Anyways,” he starts. “So what coffee is good?”

“Probably the dark chocolate mint mocha, but sometimes the mint is a little much, you know?”

“Yes,” Jack agreed. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“Right. So sometimes something a little subtle is better. So, I like the hot chocolate with cinnamon and homemade whip cream.”

Jack is nodding and looking like he’s honestly filing this information away for later, and it makes Kate smile, because there’s not many people who will genuinely listen to her when she tells them about coffee.

She’s a bit of an expert at coffee now, and she sort of likes talking about it to show it off.

(“Oh, that’s bloody great. You can go to college and major in coffee, Kate, good luck with that.” Louis doesn’t exactly like her coffee rants.)

“Can I get the hot chocolate with cinnamon too?” Jack asks.

She stares at him strangely, then shrugs. “Sure, yeah.”

So he makes a big show of spinning around and going back to the counter and Kate laughs.

“One cinnamon hot chocolate with homemade whipped cream, please.”

“Okay. And what’s your name sir?”

Jack takes a millisecond to respond. “Um. Hermund.”

She shakes her head at him, laughing, and writes it down on his cup. “Okay, Hermund, coming right up.”

She wonders if they’ve known each other long enough to break out the coffee puns, because  she knows several really good ones, but then again she doesn’t want to blind him with her humor.

In the end, he gives his vanilla mocha to her, declaring his cinnamon hot chocolate with homemade whipped cream was his ‘lover in a cup’ and quickly wrote a song about it on the back of a napkin.

The song features the words ‘bean’ and ‘mean’ far too many times but it makes her laugh so hard and wish her customers were always this interesting.

And when other customers come in, Jack checks out the guys and comments on then to her via napkins and pens over the counters and when Jack slides the napkin over the counter with his number on it and the words ‘I’m gei xoxox’ she thinks she might’ve just made a friend.

*

“I made a friend at work today,” she announces over dinner.

“Yeah?” Katie says. “Who?”

“His name is Jack, Jack Barakat,” she tell them. “He was… interesting. Funny, and he talked a lot.”

Alex barely looks up from reading Harry Potter, which he just started on the twins’ urges. “Cool.”

“I like him a lot.”

Katie pokes her. “Ooo…”

“Nah, he’s gay.”

At this she swears Louis and Alex perk up.

“Is he not too ugly?” Alex asks.

“Is he hot?” Louis demands.

The twins laugh at them.

“He’s actually pretty attractive,” Kate says.

“I call dibs,” Louis calls, settling back onto the couch.

Alex groans. “You only got there first because you’re younger and I’m all old.”

“Crinkly motherfucker,” Louis sighs from the couch.

Katie catches Alex’s eye from across the room and they both laugh, and sometimes it sinks in that they made it, that they’re living in a flat in London with their best friends and maybe not plenty of money, but enough, and maybe they don’t get enough sleep and sometimes Louis and Kate get into fights but in the end Katie finds them curled up on the couch, Friends playing on the screen and wow, they did it.

*

Katie and Alex decide to go see Taylor Swift in concert.

Mostly because they both have a sort of ferocious hate towards her, and Kate is working and Louis is out doing god knows what.

(And no, they’re not quite sure why they spent a hundred dollars in total to go to a concert they’ll surely hate).

But anyways, they shove their way through the crowd, talking about Louis and Kate and the mysterious ‘Jack’ Kate’s always talking about but who they have yet to meet and soul mates and pretty much a casual everything.

The arena is absolutely packed, mostly with girls from ages eight to thirteen and Alex and Katie stand out like white on black,

They quickly ignore everyone else and plop down. Alex hurriedly hides his face under his hood, wondering why he’s even at a fucking Taylor Swift concert anyways and Katie pretends to hate it.

Taylor Swift starts signing and no, they definitely don’t know all the words, and Katie does not tear up during All Too Well and they don’t angrily correct someone when they say her album is called ‘22’ and they definitely don’t gush about how amazing it was all the way back to the flat.

(and they absolutely hate Taylor Swift, okay, they do).

Kate smirks at them as soon as they step in the door. “Enjoyed it, did you?”

And they shake their heads fervently and act like they don’t own all of her albums.

*

Jack has come into work every day.

They become fast friends, even though if anyone else is inside the shop he won’t talk to her unless it’s over napkins and pens and he’s a little bit crazy, but that’s okay because frankly, she needs more of the goofy, crazy type in her life.

‘I think I may be straight 4 u xoxo’

Kate rolls her eyes and grabs the pen. ‘Haha, yeah, sure.’

‘but really. U r #2fab4me’

‘Jack.’

‘wut’

‘Stop.’

‘Stop what?’

‘omg. Srsly. Ur gei’

‘Yay I finally got you using the weird speak!’

‘what is the weird speak?’

‘u no, dis’

‘Jack stop.’

He cackled as the customer left. “I love this internet speak.”

She sent him an incredulous look. “What?”

“It makes me happy on the inside.”

“Okay?”

He grins. “So can you make me hot chocolate now?”

“I guess, but that’ll be two ninety five.”

“But… I thought we were friends!”

Kate shakes her head at him but laughed. “Yeah, but it’ll come out of my paycheck and I still need to like, have a place to live.”

Jack sighs and hands over the money. “This friendship is just give and no take, is it?”

“Well maybe if you didn’t consume so many liquids, then you wouldn’t have to pay so much!”

He points to the no loitering sign at the door.

She shrugs. “You only really have to buy one thing and then you’re allowed to stay here for the rest of the day.”

So then Jack decides it would be a brilliant idea to tackle her and push her off the chair and they end up having a mini fight on the floor of the café.

It’s then that she really notices the daisy tattoo on his hand, and maybe then it clicks but not really.

And when she gets up to go to the bathroom, she gets back and there’s a napkin on the counter.

‘brb, going 2 find luv xoxo’.

She smiles.

*

She doesn’t   believe in love at first sight, even when there’s such things as soul mates.

Kate’s never believed that you could give your heart away after just one glance.

But she can’t get the boy from the coffee shop –Ashton- out of her mind and she believes that maybe the second she saw his eyes, she loved them, and maybe the moment she saw his smile, she loved it, and maybe when she heard his laugh, she fell in love with sound.

She doesn’t believe in love at first sight but she does believe that after one glance in his direction, she belonged to him completely.

Which is stupid, completely and utterly stupid, and Niall tells her so the night she gets a little carried away describing it what she feels.

But Katie and Alex smile at her and so maybe they get it, but still, it’s stupid because they only talked for fifteen minutes and she’s never gonna see him again but he was so pretty, he’s like a song she can’t get out of her head.

*

Everything always seems bigger at night, and for some reason, at twelve am when Kate gets home, after she got something to eat and locked up the shop, and by the time she unlocks the door to the apartment, doing everything she does almost every night, she’s almost crying.

And she misses Ashton, which is so weird and stupid and silly because she only knew him for fifteen minutes but she still misses him and right now, the only one who could make this go away was him.

She misses him all the time, so much that it’s turned into this dull kind of ache, and she thinks she’s almost used to it. Then she’d be out and she’ll see something funny and wonder if he’d laugh about it, and then she’s thinking about his honey colored hair and the way his voice cracked when he was trying to say something and laugh at the same time and she doesn’t get how she can memorize so many details about one person in only fifteen minutes.

And she’s just standing there, in the dark living room, crying, and she isn’t sure why (well she misses him) but the question is why does she miss him so much?

And that’s when someone stumbles into the living and mumbles, “Kate?”

She looks up and blinks. It’s Alex.

“Um h-hi. I just…”

And then she finds herself telling him everything, because it’s Alex and she’s always told him everything.

“I don’t know why,” she finishes. “I just miss him so much and right now it got worse but it’s freaky because I only knew him for fifteen minutes. And I reminds me of when I was fourteen and I hate that, because you remember me when I was fourteen. I was so sad and I’m afraid of going back there just when I’ve been able to smile again and laugh and mean and live, not just be alive. And when I met him, it was like I was completed. His eyes looked like coming home and I don’t understand it, but it feels like part of me is missing.”

So after she’s spilled out everything and Alex is considerably more awake than he was before, he lifts her chin and begins to speak.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry you fell in love with somebody you think you won’t ever see again. I’m sorry your heart was broken when you were so young, I’m sorry you were too sad for who you are. I hope Ashton comes back. I hope that one day you buy all the pretty dresses you’ve ever wanted. I hope you wear them and dance barefoot in the summer and laugh. I hope you smile all the time at thing little things, like flowers and funny shaped clouds and a stranger’s laughter. I hope you get the soul mate tattoo you’ve always wanted. I hope you find your soul mate.”

And Kate’s crying again, but it’s a good kind of crying.

“I hope you learn to speak French fluently, like you’ve always wanted. I hope you go to Paris and every single state in America. I hope you never stop singing, even when people say you can’t-in fact, especially then.  That’s when I hope you’ll sing the loudest. I hope you buy a bracelet for everywhere you go until your arm is crammed with them. I hope you stop beating yourself up about everything that’s out of your control. I hope you have the guts to speak up when something is important to you. I hope you fall madly, insanely in love with someone unexpected but right. I hope… oh, I hope Kate… that you learn to forget about your scars, inside and out, and be happy.”

And yeah, she’s crying and that’s the second time they kiss.

*

“Have you ever been in love?”

Kate looks up as Jack asks.

He blushes. “It’s just like, there’s all this stuff about soul mates? And I want my soul mate, because of course I do, duh. But I also kinda wonder? My friend Rian says it hurts a lot because your soul mate is your soul mate and when people leave you for their soul mate it still hurts so like, yeah. I was just wondering.”

“Twice,” Kate says, then frowns. “Maybe… maybe three times.”

Jack waits expectantly.

“It hurt like a bitch. I’m not gonna lie,” she begins. “But, before it ended, it was so so wonderful, Jack. It’s the best feeling in the world.”

He stares at her. “What do you mean, maybe three times?”

She shrugs.

“Noooooo,” Jack whines. “Please tell me.”

She sighs. “Ugh. Fine. Well, a couple of weeks ago-“

“Yes?”

She rolls her eyes. “A guy came in here with his purple haired friend-“

“Let me guess, you get with the purple haired guy?”

She whacks him.

Jack pretends to fall off his chair.

“Let me finish!”

He nods. “Fine.”

“And ordered coffee and he was very very pretty and he made me feel all warm inside.”

Jack could apparently sense the feeling behind that. “Are you in love with him?”

Kate sighs. “I don’t know. I hope not, I’m never gonna see him again and he was only in here for fifteen minutes.”

“I think you love him,” Jack says truthfully. “I believe in love at first sight.”

She stays quiet.

“Soul mates really exist,” Jack announces. “But just because they have to. I think honestly exist and I think there’s someone out there who’s gonna complete us in every way possible. And maybe when we do see them, Kate, because we will, it will be love at first sight. And even though I’ve never liked brown eyes like my own, I wouldn’t want them any other color. And they’re strangest addictions will become beautiful . And they’re addictions will become my addictions, like a favorite TV show or a love for cooking. Sometime, I’ll meet someone who will skip their favorite TV show to spend time with me. And if I’m lucky enough to meet them, I’m gonna marry them.”

She kind of just stares at him, because she didn’t know Jack could be like that. He was always so goofy and not serious, she didn’t think he could compose such a pretty rant.

Which was stupid, since she should know better than anyone that people are never, ever what they seem.

She just sort of smiles at him. “That was beautiful, Jack.”

He blushes bright pink. “Um, sorry. I was just feeling a tad emotional today. I think maybe you put something in the hot chocolate this time. Wouldn’t surprise me. I’m pretty sure my friend Zach did that once and, like, raped me. I am very devilishly attractive but you know, it’s common courtesy to ask someone before you start getting all up inside them.”

She stares at him and just kind of laughs, and is about to say something when someone comes into the store.

‘Ha, you have whipped cream on your cheek. Xoxo jack.’

Kate rolls her eyes and wipes it off her cheek, flicking it at Jack when the customer, an elderly woman, wasn’t looking.

‘Ha, this whipped creams tastes good yay. Xoxo jack’

She looks up from reading the napkin to see Jack doing something to the chair that looked rather like licking it.

‘Jack, I don’t think that’s edible.’

‘Do I look like I care? Xoxo’

She laughs because he even though he’s super silly, he’s also goofily sweet and she’s glad she’s his friend.

*

Alex gets another tattoo.

It’s a ‘xoxo’

It’s another clue, and Kate feels something at the back of her mind, something that she should probably realize, someone who has a daisy tattoo on his hand and who’s initials are ‘JB’ and who uses ‘xoxo’ all the time.

But it still doesn’t click.

It’s just there, in the back of her mind, and it’s completely frustrating because she doesn’t know what it is.

Katie and Alex are giggling over something in Scrabble (Katie most likely spelled ‘sixtynine’ again) and Louis and Niall are shoving cake at each other, which they will absolutely have to clean up later because no way is she doing it.

“Join us, Kate!” Niall crows.

“I’ll pass,” she says, raising an eyebrow where Louis is rubbing chocolate into Niall’s blonde hair.

“You’re missing a good time,” he shrugged, continuing doing whatever they were doing.

She laughs because Louis and Niall are a little crazy together but it’s nice.

After Niall and Louis have cleaned up their mess, they all join Kate, Alex and Kate on the sofa.

“I think I’m a singer,” Louis announces loudly.

Kate grins. “Okay?”

“No, but I’m serious this time,” he says.

“You said that about being an actor, too,” Alex points out.

Louis pouts.

Niall pokes Katie’s stomach. “If Louis wants to be a singer, Louis can be a singer.”

“Never said he couldn’t be,” Katie says, rubbing her stomach. “Ow, that hurt.”

“Sorry,” Niall says, not looking sorry at all.

Louis randomly sings a few lings of ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ and Katie and Alex instantly start commenting on how  much they hate Taylor Swift, even though Kate has caught them listening to Red far too many times for it to be accidental and Niall sings along, and actually, they’re both really good at singing.

And then Alex joins in and it looks like the twins are the only ones without vocal talent, which just kind of sucks.

“Not fair,” Katie pouts. “You guys will like, form a hot boy band and me and Kate will just be left here alone and die.”

“You think we’re hot?” Niall asks smugly.

Katie backtracks quickly. “No, no, no. I don’t. I don’t. I was just saying-“

“She totally thinks we are,” Alex says.

“Oh yes,” Louis agrees. “Sorry, but I’m gay and looking for my soul mate, honey.”

“I’m bi but still looking,” Alex says apologetically.

“Foodsexual,” Niall sighs.

Kate laughs. “Alright, she just said that if you were a boy band. All boy bands are hot, it’s a given. Though if you formed a boy band, that might not work because Alex is like, sixty or something.”

He whacks her. “You know I am not sixty! I’m only twenty-one, okay!?”

She ducks her head, laughing. “Alright, alright. You’re not sixty. But seriously , you guys are really good.”

“Like, um, OneRepublic good,” Katie agrees. “I’m one hundred percent serious here.”

Niall looks hopeful, and it kind of makes everyone’s day because he looks like a child on Christmas. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Katie says, smiling at him. “Really.”

Alex, Louis and Niall all look at each other and smile.

*

Katie gets another tattoo.

They spend the day together, while Alex is at the record store, Louis and Niall have decided to go out on to the streets and perform and they go see the new Harry Potter movie and then head back to the apartment.

“So what tattoos do you have?” Katie asks.

“My first one, the moon.” She lifts up her shirt and forgets momentarily about the scars.

“What are those from?” Katie asks.

Kate freezes, and tries to think up a lie, because even though it’s been years now, the instinct to keep it secret is still there.

But it’s too late, because Katie’s figured it out, of course she did, her twin isn’t stupid.

Her green eyes that match Kate’s so exactly widen almost comically, and there’s just such a look of horror and sympathy and hurt, like every time Kate drew the blade across her skin she was doing it to her twin, too.

And wow, that hurts more than anything else has.

It’s like her sister’s professional look snaps on.

“When?”

Kate sighs. “Fourteen, till I was sixteen.”

Katie’s eyes darken a little. “Why?”

“Why do you think?”

And yeah, but they know how much it hurts to lose the person you fell so love in with, but the thing is Kate never got better.

Katie’s eyes get a little darker.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kate avoids her gaze. “We weren’t… we weren’t…”

And Katie knows what she’s trying to say, about the two years they like to forget.

“I should have noticed,” she says quietly, and her eyes are impossibly dark.

Kate realizes it’s because their filled with tears.

“No,” Kate begins. “It’s not… you couldn’t have…”

Anything you would have done wouldn’t have helped, I would have kept hurting myself anyways.

Her twin hugs her. “I’m so sorry, Kit Kat. I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I’m so-“

But Kate cuts her off, because she has nothing to be sorry about. It was her that didn’t tell her twin, and it was her that didn’t try to mend it, because while Katie was so busy with Nathan and never sat down with her, so did Kate. It was both of them.

It takes an hour of sobbing and apologizing until they get back onto the topic of tattoos.

“Pick you up when you fall to pieces.”

“I’ve whispered that so many times,” Katie whispers, staring at it.

“Hey, we’re taking on the world.”

Katie smiles. “I love this tattoo of yours. I just do, not sure why.”

And then Katie shows her the ‘M’ Kate never knew about on her foot and Kate lifts up her sleeve, trying to ignore the scars that are slowly fading, and shows her twin the butterfly.

She explains the meaning of it. “And I named it after Alex.”

Katie stares at it for a moment. “I have a…” she pulls up her shirt and across her lower back is a constellation, and it spells out the name ‘Michael.’

She stares at it for a while. “But… you… know his name?”

“I guess, but there are millions of Michaels. It didn’t really help at all.”

She shows her sister the tally mark and then Katie shows her the curly number ‘5’.

Kate lifts her shirt up and shows her the ash tree.

“That’s kind of hauntingly beautiful,” Katie observes.

“I like to think it’s sort of gothic,” Kate admits.

“It totally is.”

And that’s when another tattoo appears.

It’s a cup of coffee, a small one, the size of her thumb nail and it was incredibly cute.

“Aw,” Katie coos. “That is adorable.”

And then Katie gets a tattoo.

It’s a small guitar, maybe an inch long and it’s just as cute as Kate’s.

“I wonder if our soul mates are like, best friends or brothers or something,” Katie ponders.

“It’d kind of make sense, since we have so many similar ones that show up at the same time.”

“Yeah. It would be pretty cool. Like what if they were a guy version of us?”

“What if they were Liam and Zayn from Sky Scope?” Katie smirks, nudging her twin, referencing the band they were a little obsessed with.

Kate laughed. “Now I’m kind of hoping it is, dammit.”

They took a moment to swoon over the band members which were composed of Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles and Josh Devine.

The door opens and Niall and Louis come in, hauling their guitar cases with them.

“How much did you get?” Kate asks, standing up because wow, it’s already seven o’clock and she should probably start dinner.

“Thirty five!” Niall shouts.

“Wow, that’s good,” Katie tells them, impressed. “I didn’t expect you to do that well on your first performance.”

“Thanks,” Louis says sarcastically.

“Awh, I didn’t mean it that way Boo, I was just saying.”

He brightens, blowing Katie a kiss before skipping into the kitchen. “What’re you making for dinner?”

Kate, who was pretty much leaning against the counter and wishing she didn’t have to cook, jumps. “Um… well… I was thinking we could just order pizza, because I really don’t feel like cooking.”

“Alright,” Louis agrees. “That’s fine. I’ll order?”

“Yeah, and make sure you get extras because Niall.”

Louis chuckles. “I’ll do that.”

So the twins change into their matching pajamas (which is composed of red plaid pants and dark green shirts)

(and yes they match because their twins and that is how they do it)

And Louis and Niall argue over the remote and then Kate just rolls her eyes and asks, “Louis, what rom-com are we on?”

Louis smirks at Niall. “500 Days Of Summer.”

“I saw that once,” Katie says. “With Nathan. It’s kind of sad.”

“But it still falls in the romantic comedy category,” Louis protests. “It’s a good movie.”

Katie shrugs and then the doorbell rings.

“Pizza!” Niall cries, making a lunge for the door. Louis steps on his shirt and makes the boy trip and collapse on the floor and blinks confusedly.

Katie and Kate burst out laughing as Kate gets up to answer the door.

Alex is standing there, holding the boxes. “I intercepted, because the poor pizza boy was terrified since apparently last time he came and brought this flat pizza a ‘blonde monster’ attacked him.”

They all turn to Niall.

He holds his hands up. “Oops?”

Alex puts the pizza on the coffee table and disappears to take a shower.

“You guys have to leave some from Alex,” Kate reprimands.

When it’s obvious they aren’t going to listen to her, she sighs and takes two pizzas and stashes them in the oven.

“So what are we watching?” Alex asks.

“500 Days of Summer,” Louis says.

“Cool.”

Kate grins at him and takes out the pizza from the oven and they sit at the kitchen table and eat it as Niall is shoved off the couch as Louis sprawls across it and Katie sprawls across him.

They finish eating and Kate shoves Louis and Katie’s feet off the sofa and sits down and Alex squeezes in next to her and Katie falls scooches off Louis’ lap and curls up between him and Kate and Niall sits down beside Louis and pokes Alex from behind and they’re all a little uncomfortable but at the same time completely at home.

The movie starts and they all quiet down, as the night grows darker and colder outside and they all fall asleep one by one.

*

‘I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty twoooooo xoxo’

Apparently, it was Jack’s birthday and he is now twenty two.

‘Jack,no.’

‘IT FEELS LIKE THE PERFECT NIGHT TO DRESS UP AS HIPSTERS XOXO’

‘…’

‘AND MAKE FUN OF OUR EXES’

‘.’

‘I’M FREE AND HAPPY AND STUPID AND AWESOME… or whatever it is… AT THE SAME TIME xoxo’

‘if you keep doing this I will be forced to kick you out of the coffee shop.

‘you would do that? I’m hurt xoxo’

The customer leaves and Kate glares at him. “Really? Just… really?”

He smiles sheepishly.

“Oh! You will not believe what happened last night!”

“What happened?”

“I got another tattoo.”

Kate smiles at him. “Can I see it?”

“Sure.”

Jack pulls up his sleeve and shows her the ‘AG’ on his forearm. “I wonder who’s initials are AG?”

“Dunno,” Kate shrugs.

(but she does, she just hasn’t comprehended it yet)

Jack sighs, resting his elbows on the counter. “I wish-“

He’s interrupted by the door opening.

Kate’s eyes widen.

Because it’s him.

It’s Ashton.

And he’s just as beautiful as she remembered, honey colored curls and perfect pinks lips and brown blue eyes that also seem to retain the color of burnt toffee and just a little bit of green and when he meets her gaze, his pretty smile unfolds and his cute dimples reappear and his eyes look so familiar and like home.

(but really, her memory didn’t do him justice)

“Hey,” he says, and this time he’s alone. “Kate, right?”

“Yes,” she nods. “Ashton, right?”

And that warm feeling is back, and she didn’t even know it was this nice, so warm and bubbly, like someone mixed hot chocolate and champagne and poured it on her heart.

“Can I take your order?”

He nods. “But what do you recommend?’

And this is when she could break out all the coffee puns she has….

“Well, it depends on your mood.”

He blushes, and she thought he was pretty before, but with the light pink tainting his cheeks he looks kind of magical and kind of perfect.

“I feel like… a little infatuated and a little too right and maybe a little too at home, considering the circumstances. And a little confused and a little hopeful.”

She smiles at him, and sort of hopes if she does it enough he’ll fall for her smile as much as she fell for his.

“I think you need a toffee mocha, with extra whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.”

“Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll take that.”

And so she gets to work. “It might be a bit, because the kettle has to heat.”

He stands on his tiptoes. “You use a kettle? That’s so cool.”

“Independent coffee shop,” she shrugs.

And she kinda forgot about Jack, who is just sort of sitting there, and she doesn’t really care that much  because Ashton is back.

“Oh right,” he grins, dimples flickering. “I love these little coffee shops, they’re so cute.”

Kate agrees, because it is, with it’s fairy lights and cushion seats and everything.

“Yeah, I love working here. Even when the shifts are long and I have to get up at the crack of dawn.”

“I have to get up at I swear  to god, five am every morning. Me and the morning have a lot to work out.”

She laughs and can’t resist. “Do you mean you and your morning boner?”

He turns bright red but laughs. Jack snorts. “No, I don’t but ha ha.”

Feeling a little sheepish, she turns around and watches the kettle for a total of 2 seconds.

Ashton is looking through the stack of napkins on the counter that Jack has scribbled all over and is laughing. “Who are these from?”

“Me!” Jack yells.

They kind of ignore him but then Ashton finds a note and it’s from Kate, and when he throws his head back laughing like a little kid, and she thinks it’s a little strange he thinks she’s funny, because she’s a little too serious and sometimes doesn’t realize things are a joke and is always making sure her friends are safe. But that’s because she’s been through a little too much and has hated herself a little too much to know what is sarcasm and what isn’t it, and she loves her friends a lot.

And then Ashton finds a note that Jack wrote about Christmas and starts telling Kate about the movies his family watches every year on that day.

“Elf,” he lists. “Santa Clause Is Coming To Town, It’s A Wonderful Life, Ruldolph the Red Nosed Reindeer…”

And she finds it endearing, the way he tells her these things.

“My family lives in Doncaster,” she says. “Which I think you already know. But yeah. So me and my friends usually just watch the Christmas specials and try to distract me from cooking.”

Ashton laughs. “Your friends sound kind of crazy. But nice. Because crazy friends are the best.”

She thinks of Katie and Louis and Alex and a smile curves across her lips. “Yeah, yeah they are.”

And they’ve sort of forgotten about the kettle but then it whistles and she jumps.

So she makes his coffee and then he invites her to sit with him and so she does, and he pulls the chair out for her, and maybe he doesn’t realize how nice that is but she does.

“I like mochas the best,” he tells her.

“Sometimes, but sometimes mochas are a little too rich, y’know?”

“Exactly! Like, there kind of needs to be a perfect amount of chocolate and coffee.”

“Right, or it isn’t worth it, because I mean, if you’re going to be spending a five on a drink it better be perfect.”

“This is perfect,” he says, smiling at her over the rim of his cup, and Kate blushes because she feels like he’s not talking about the coffee.

“You should try our vanilla bean,” she tells him. “I love it. It’s like, kind of subtly sweet.”

“Okay,” Ashton agrees. “I will next time.”

And there are little thrills through her body because that means there will be a next time.

“What’s your favorite color?” he asks randomly.

She smiles. “I like periwinkle. It’s-“

“A blue gray,” he finishes. “I know. My room is painted that color, at home. And so are my blankets.”

He blushes, and Kate feels an overwhelming urge to say something that will make him blush, because she’s starting to like all of them, but blushing Ashton might just be her favorite.

And then his phone rings and he answers it and swears.

“Oh shit, ‘m sorry Calum, I forgot, I’m coming, okay?”

And then Ashton gets up, and points at her and a smile breaks out across his face like the sun rising after a day of rain, but then the bell above the door chimes and he’s gone.

“Kate?”

Yeah, she gets why Jack might be a bit worried about her, because she’s staring  out the window into the endless pale blue sky and thinks thoughts that shouldn’t be thought, especially since it’s the only the second time they’ve met but it’s still nice to dream.

“Hmm?”

“That was Ashton, right?”

She nods. “Yeah. Yeah, that was Ashton.”

Jack smiles. “You guys are cute together.”

She turns and smiles. “Thank you.”

*

She gloats on a haze for the rest of the day, and smiles at nothing and Katie smirks because she knows that look and Alex looks concerned because he doesn’t want her to get hurt again, and Louis just makes a sassy remark every now and then.

But they don’t really say anything, because she looks so happy.

*

She dreams a lot.

And Kate knows she doesn’t know when she’ll ever see Ashton again, especially since he lives in Australia, and it leaves a kind of scary hopeless feeling in her.

She ignores it.

She likes to think about it, and maybe, maybe one day Ashton will drive her home and she’ll sit in the passenger seat, laughing and sing along with the radio and the wind will blow her hair into her eyes and he’ll look over at her and bite his lip.

Or maybe he’ll drink a little too much and he’ll call her, late at night and they’ll stay up for hours and he’ll listen to her ramble on and tell stupid stories he won’t remember the next morning but he’ll listen to her anyways and smile into the speaker and they’ll fall asleep with their phones pressed to their mouths and when he wakes up in the morning he’ll wonder why he called her and his heart will do a little jump.

Or maybe she won’t be able to breathe on one of those nights that things get bad and she drowns in her thoughts so she’ll drive to his house and he’ll hold her while she cries and while he kisses her forehead and wipes her tears away with his thumb, he’ll pull her in a little tighter because he’ll realize he loves her like she loves him.

And it’s dangerous, to get lost in these fantasies and the strength of the fantasies and dreams scare her.  She doesn’t know when she’ll see him again and that scares her. She doesn’t know if he’ll like her still when she does, and that scares her. She worries he won’t still think she’s funny and won’t still listen to her rant about coffee and that scares her. She’s just overly scared and a little bit in love.

*

‘you look so in love it hurts xoxo’

‘Shut up.’

‘You do!! But it’s kinda cute heh xoxo’

‘Okay Jack.’

‘Ashton seems pretty cool. I approve xoxo’

‘I’m glad.’

“Will you see him again?”

And this part kind of hurts the most, because Alex, Katie, Louis and Niall have all asked her this, and she can only reply with,

“I don’t know.”

Jack looks sympathetic, and she stands at the counter all day and jumps whenever the door opens and looks outside a little too much and this horrible patience sucks.

*

Five days later the doubt has made a home.

Because she was almost sure he felt it too.

But she isn’t, anymore. Because it’s been five days and she was so sure he’d be back this time, but of course, she’s not that funny and who wants to hear about coffee? No one, absolutely no one. And she’s not even that pretty and she’s not rich and she doesn’t have a lot of friends. She’s just her, Kate, and the longer it goes the more she thinks it might not be good enough.

*

“Stop moping,” Louis grumbles.

Kate moans.

“I am serious. This much moping is unhealthy.”

Another moan.

“I swear to god, Kate, I am gonna fucking come over there and yank you off and throw you off the building.”

She rolled over. “Jeez, what’s wrong with you today?”

Louis glares at her. “What’s wrong with me? What about you?”

Kate scoffs. “Whatever.”

“You can’t keep thinking he’s not gonna come back. He is, Kate, believe me. I bet you’re just as impossible to stay away from as he is to you.”

“I wonder if we’re soul mates.”

“I don’t know, but even if you aren’t, it stays the same.”

She smiles at him. “Thanks, Louis.”

“Of course. Now make me food.”

She laughs and hoists herself up, heading into the kitchen.

*

“What are we on?”

“Sleepless In Seattle,” Louis informs them popping the disc into the DVD player.

“Yay, I love these,” Niall says happily.

“Me too, Nialler,” Louis say grimly, ruffling the younger boy’s hair. “Me, too.”

Niall shoots him a weird look and they hit play.

And even though Louis keeps up a running commentary the whole movie and Niall keeps kicking her and Katie’s elbow is pressing uncomfortably into Kate’s side and Alex’s hair is sort of in her mouth, there’s no place she would rather be.

*

“We should go on a walk.”

They all look at Niall like he’s a little crazy.

He shrugs. “Maybe not outside, but like, we could go on an adventure in the flat building!”

Kate looks concerned, but before she can say anything Louis is grabbing his coat and Katie is slipping on her shoes and Alex is putting on a shirt.

She sighs and pulls on her hoodie and her flip flops and wonders what they’re going to be doing.

*

Well apparently hiding out in the extremely echo-y stair well is an adventure.

They hide out there for ten minutes before Louis has the brilliant idea of playing hide and seek in the whole building.

Kate and Katie link arms but Louis whines loudly about how he doesn’t even know how to play and needs his friend, so they grin at each other and separate.

So Kate and Alex run down the corridor, giggling and being a little too loud since it’s almost three am.

They find a closet and decide to hide in it, but Alex can’t fit in there with her, so she shoves him in and goes solo.

It’s a little drafty in the corridor and she slows to a walk, hearing Niall distantly shout “THIRTY-SIX! THIRTY-SEVEN!”

She knows she only has till sixty and starts running again, her flip flops clapping loudly against the floor.

The vendy machine is purring quietly in the silence and she slips between the ice one and one with candy in it and then behind it, holding her breath as Niall yells, “SIXTY! READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!”

And she presses up against the wall, closing her eyes and allowing herself to imagine for a moment that Ashton is here with her, is behind her stuffed behind the vending machine and maybe they’ll giggle and he’ll shush her by putting his finger on her lips and then maybe kiss her and grab her hand and they’ll plan what to do if Niall shows up.

It’s a wonderful fantasy, and she smiles to herself but stops dreaming when she hears footsteps down the hallway.

“Fucking games,” she hears Niall mutter, and she restrains a giggle. “This isn’t even fucking fun. What the hell is this?”

Irish folk.

He comes closer and she holds her breath, waiting for it. He taps the vending machine and mutters about Mars Bars and the machine hums and Kate tenses because she’s always had a sort of fear of vending machines crushing her, and she’s always been a little claustrophobic, and hmm, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

But she can’t leave because Niall is right outside, and the vending machine is whirring and it’s kind of terrifying, being squished between the wall and the machine.

It’s scary but when she realizes she’s crying, she’s a little annoyed because it isn’t that scary, and why is she crying anyways?

She sniffles almost silently and is about to slide out from behind the vending machine because a game of hide and seek isn’t that important, but then two voices start up.

“Luke, it’s midnight and I am so tired man, you don’t even know.”

“C’mon, Ash, the flat we rented is legit four steps from here. I’m just so hungry.”

“Why did you have to bring me with you?!”

“It’s scary at night, okay?”

And Kate smiles, because she knows that voice. That’s Ashton.

“Hey man,” he says, to Niall she assumes.

“Hello,” Niall greets. “What are you two up to so late?”

Ashton laughs and Kate is overwhelmed by the sound once again, it’s literally like what happiness should sound like.

“I could ask you the same.”

“Touche. Well, I sorta suggested me and my friends should go on an adventure in the building, and we ended up playing hide and seek and I’m It. I honestly have no idea where they could all be.”

She can almost hear Ashton smile. “Well, if I was playing, I would hide behind the vending machine.”

And Kate smiles, scrunching her eyes closed as someone scoots between the ice machine and the vending machine and warm breath ghosts across her face.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

And she never realized it before, but Ashton smells really good, and it’s weird, because he smells like the mix of colors in his eyes. Toffee and sunshine and caramel and chocolate and maybe even a little bit of apples. It’s the strangest scent she’s ever smelled but so very nice and comforting.

“Hi,” she breathes.

“Hi,” he chuckles.

“Is anyone back there?” Niall asks, stopping talking to the Luke Ashton was with.

“Yeah,” Ashton calls. “Yeah, there is.”

And then he takes her hand and shivers dance up her spine and they slide out from behind the vending machines.

“Found you!” Niall cries, poking her. She laughs and smacks his hand.

“I never got your name,” Ashton says apologetically.

“It’s Niall.”

“Lovely to meet you, I’m Ashton.”

And Niall’s eyes widen and he looks between Ashton and Kate and raises an eyebrow at her, and she knows what he’s saying. Is this him?

And she nods ever so slightly, and smiles at Ashton, and no, he still hasn’t let go of her hand.

It’s then she notices the other boy.

And her eyes widen, and widen, and her mouth drops open, because she knows him.

His blonde hair is still swept slightly to the side and it still falls into his eyes in the same way and his eyes are still so very blue and he still looks like the boy she was completely in love with when she was fourteen years old.

It’s Luke.

They sort of just stare at each other.

“How’s Perrie?” she asks quietly.

And Luke smiles, a big smile that’s all teeth and she’s never seen that smile ever before, it’s so big and happy, filled to the brim with happiness.

“She’s wonderful,” Luke says, and his eyes are full of what Kate can only call adoration, and she smiles, because well, she doesn’t love Luke anymore.

“I’m happy,” Kate tells him.

“You know each other?” Ashton asks, sounding confused.

“We dated in high school,” Luke explains.

“Oh,” Ashton replies, sounding disinterested and maybe, a little jealous?

“So, wanna help find the others?” Niall asks cheerfully.

“Sure,” he grins.

“But I thought you were tired-“ Luke begins, but Ashton whacks him and Kate quirks and eyebrow at him and Ashton looks sheepish.

So they start off down the hallway and Kate tries to get up the courage to take his hand again but fails.

But then it’s all okay again, because Ashton does it, he takes her hand and tangles their fingers together and it makes her smile.

Niall and Luke are talking loudly in the front and Ashton begins to whisper to her as they walk.

“Can I like, give an oral survey?”

She almost laughs at the way he said that, but holds herself back. “Okay, sure.”

“Right. Um… what’s your favorite movie?”

“I like romantic comedies,” she admits. “My best friend Louis is obsessed with them because he just is and is taking us through the ‘Rom-Com Tour’.”

Ashton laughs. “Okay, got it. Favorite hair color?”

“On me or somebody else?”

“Somebody else.”

“I don’t really care about that. I think all hair colors would look really nice with all the features, and the reason you have that hair color is because it’s in your genes and won’t clash with your face at least.”

And then Kate realizes she might’ve gotten a little carried away in talking about hair colors. “Sorry for that.”

He smiles at her. “It’s okay. I thought it was cute.”

She blushes and holds his hand a little tighter.

“Favorite month?” she asks.

“May,” they say in unison and then laugh.

“Why, for you?”

“I don’t know, I like the name, you know? May. May. It makes me think of spring and snow and fresh cleanness.”

And Kate beams at him. “That’s exactly it. Worded perfectly.”

Ashton blushes and coughs. “Um, okay. Favorite band?”

She turns bright red.

He grins at her. “Oh, this is gonna be good.”

She scratches her head. “Um… it could kind of be… Sky Scope?”

He snickers. “The most popular boy band in the world, should’ve known.”

“But I love Fun. too,” she hastens.

“Okay, okay, I’ll forgive you. I guess.”

She smiles. “Yay! So, favorite food?”

“Why don’t you just ask the hardest question ever!?”

She laughs. “Sorry! I just wanted to know! Mine is chocolate, by the way.”

“Well yeah, everyone’s is. Unless we’re talking actual food. “

“Yep,” Kate agrees. “Alright, um, I suppose mine is lasagna.”

“I honestly don’t know mine. Too hard.”

They walk along in silence for a minute, and Niall and Luke are discussing guitars in front of them.

“Favorite soul mate tattoo?” Ashton asks.

She hums. “I kind of love all of mine. But,” she sadly releases his hand, “I have this one.”

She lifts the hem of her shirt and shows in the silvery blue moon.

Ashton has a queer look on his face, and he turns sideways and lifts up his shirt, and there’s a golden sun in the exact place Kate’s is.

There’s a moment of hanging on a moment and then she’s taking a deep breath and shows her the “Hey, we’re taking on the world.”

His smile is so big and happy that it can’t but make her smile back. “That’s a song I wrote. ‘Unpredictable.’”

There’s a sort of air of suspense in the world and he shows her the words on his palm. “7-11.”

And Kate almost laughs because wow, she didn’t expect that to be a soul mate tattoo.

“I went there all time, when I lived in Doncaster,” she explains, grinning. She lifts up her sleeve and shows him the line drawing of the butterfly, and tries to ignore the intake of breath on her scars. She doesn’t want to talk about it, not now and maybe never. It hurts a little, to think about it.

He lifts up his sleeve and there’s scars there, too, and wow, she didn’t know how that hurt, to see he used to do it, too.

And there is a butterfly, too, and it’s golden and glimmery and a lot like Ashton is.

And she shows him the tally mark next.

“My band,” he says quietly. “That’s like, our logo. The tally mark.”

And it’s all real now, and it makes her a little breathless.

His next tattoo he shows her is a tiny Kit-Kat and Kate grins because that’s what her best friends call her.

And then she turns around and shows him the ash tree, and it doesn’t even need an explanation, because Ashton.

The last one, he has it too, and it’s the tiny cup of coffee and they both smile, because they met at a café.

That’s it.

She sort of gazes at him, because he’s her soul mate, her forever, and it makes her happy, because she wanted it to be him, she wanted it to be him so badly.

He wraps his arms around and hugs her and they’re bodies almost mold together, and he hugs just right, and it’s the best hug she’s had, ever.

“You’re my soul mate,” she whispers, a large goofy smile spreading across her face.

“Yeah,” he whispers back, and his smile mirrors hers in happiness. “You’re my soul mate.”

“I think I could fall in love with you,” Kate says, and she doesn’t say about how in love with him she is.

“I think I’m already a little bit in love with you,” Ashton says honestly.

“Good, because I was in love with you since you opened the door of my café,” she admits.

And he smiles, and kisses her and he tastes like sunshine and caramel and toffee and apples and it’s the best kiss she’s had, ever.

She kind of understands, now, why Luke left her for Perrie and why Rachel left her for Rian, because this incredible feeling of rightness is more than she’s ever thought she could feel, and it’s like she can feel herself falling.

She doesn’t know where Niall and Luke went but she really doesn’t care.

“I knew it,” Ashton whispers, because they don’t want to be loud. This moment is quiet. “Since the first time I walked in with Michael, I knew it. I did. You were standing there, and you were leaning against the counter, and you were biting your lip and the sun was shining in such a way that it caught in your hair and turned it brighter than it already was, and you looked up when the shop door opened and a strand of hair fell in your eyes and your eyes, oh, your eyes were so green. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

And she may be tearing up a little and she’s bright pink and he grins at her. “You’re cute when you blush.”

Which just makes her blush harder and he grins and kisses her again.

“I knew it too,” she whispers. “Ask Alex, when you meet him. I couldn’t stop talking about you. Did you know your hair looks like spun gold in the sun? And even when it’s not, it’s the most lovely honey color. And your eyes change all the time, they’re brown and green and blue and caramel and you smell the same, like chocolate and apples and sunshine and toffee and your skin is so warm, and I already know you’ll give the best hugs and you listen to me rant and I’m so hopelessly gone for you.”

And that’s when it happens.

The final soul mate tattoo appears.

It’s the last one both of them will ever get. And her wrist, the one nearest to Ashton, is colored a little bit gray and a silvery moon with the tiniest pin points for stars around it appears.

On his wrist, the one nearest to her turns has a shade of blue over it and a yellow gold sun appears and seems to arch across.

They smile and entwine their hands and the tattoos meld, into day and night.

His dimples flicker and the corners of his eyes crinkle and his eyes are so pretty, and he kisses her again.

“Do you wanna… go find them?” Ashton asks.

“Sure,” she agrees, and he takes her hand again, but then wraps an arm around her waist and she leans against him.

She sort of wants to feel like this for the rest of her life, and what’s wonderful is that she _will._

 


	3. Chapter 3

They sort of meander around the building, not really looking for the others and a little too wrapped up in each other, and get side tracked by kissing a little, and to be honest, kissing Ashton is something she’d kind of like to do forever.

It’s around four forty five before they just decide to give up and go back to the flat.

“The author wasn't pleased to see a review of his book on cappuccinos. It said it was all froth and no substance.”

Ashton shakes his head. “That was absolutely terrible.” But he’s smiling.

“Stealing someone else’s coffee is called mugging.”

He grins and squeezes her hand a little tighter.

They open the door and of course everyone is in there.

Louis, Niall, Luke, Alex and Katie are all playing Monopoly (the M&M version) and they  look up as they come in.

“S’bout time,” Niall grins, but he winks at them and Alex eyes their hands and grins at Kate and Luke raises an eyebrow and it’s only Katie that notices the tattoos on their wrists.

Her eyes widen and widen and widen and Kate thinks they might pop out of her head.

“You…” she says and then suddenly laughs. “You guys are!”

And Luke looks really confused but then he sees the matching tattoos and his eyes get big too, and then he grins and hugs Ashton and he lets go Kate’s hand and Louis, Niall and Alex still look really confused, but then Louis looks around at everyone’s faces and realizes what might’ve just happened.

He smiles huge, and doesn’t say one sassy remark, just gets up and hugs his best friend and whispers  “Congratulations,” in her ear.

Understanding breaks out across Niall’s face and he makes a whooping sound and says something about a celebration feast is needed and Kate laughs.

But Alex still looks confused and he isn’t quite sure what just happened and he looks at Kate for help.

That’s when he sees the complete joy in her gaze and the adoration that’s directed to the boy she came in holding hands with.

And now he gets it.

He gets up, and hugs Kate tightly, closing his eyes because he can remember all the times they’ve dreamed about this, about finding their soul mates, their forever, and he can still remember the first time he talked to this girl, when he slid next to her at lunch and hugged her and he can still remember how fragile she was back then. He can remember the first time she came over to his house and the day they celebrated her birthday at a fast food restaurant and he got stuck in the playland and she laughed at him and he can still remember how happy that made him, her laugh, because he used to not hear it that much.

He can remember when they first saw Rachel and Rian outside the 7-11 and he can remember the way his heart sped up, just a little.

He can remember the day Rachel broke up with Kate and the hours she cried and the way they kissed that night and the day they met Louis and the summer they saved up for this flat, and the way she sometimes snuggled into his bed late at night, and the one night he found her in the living room crying over Ashton, and the things he said to her and the second time they kissed.

He loves his best friend a lot, and is smiling so hard his face hurts as he hugs her even tighter.

“Oomf, Alex, you’re squeezing me too hard.”

He lets go sheepishly. “I’m so happy for you.”

She grins at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re Ashton?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow.

He nods. “I guess you’re Alex.”

“That’s me.”

They shake hands and maybe Alex squeezes a little too tight but c’mon, his best friend’s been hurt just a little too much.

It takes about half an hour more for the tiredness to come creeping in. But it is five am and they’re eyelids are getting heavier.

But Ashton doesn’t want to leave, partly because he’s just found his soul mate and he doesn’t want to leave Kate yet, but partly because he’s afraid this will all be a dream, he’ll wake up and be back in Australia and he’ll feel weirdly empty like he’s been feeling for the past two months, and the girl from the café that haunted his mind will be back and he’ll feel that weird kind of missing he had felt, down to his bones, and it will suck, because the girl lives in London and he lives in Australia.

So when she faces him and whispers, “Do you… want to…”

And he says yes, of course he does.

So they get up and leave the others in the living room and he holds her hand and their palms are a little sweaty but he doesn’t want to let her go.

He shushes her as they sneak in, and he decides the face where she’s trying really hard not to laugh is his favorite Kate.

He knows Michael and Calum are sleeping and so they tiptoe  past and into the bathroom and brush they’re teeth, and when they kiss she’s all minty.

And when they’re done, he grabs her hand (his felt strangely empty without hers in it)  and leads her down the hallway and into his room. It’s a bit empty, because they’re only staying here a week, but he’s unpacked and there’s already clothes strewn about the place, and his headphones are on the bedside table and there’s a wrapper on his floor and it’s the little things that make it seem a bit more like home.

She yawns, her nose crinkling and his new favorite Kate is yawning Kate because it’s irritatingly adorable.

They fall back on to the bed and it feels like there’s a bit of a draft in the room and he pulls the blankets up around them and pulls her a little closer and she closes her eyes, the sound of his heartbeat in her ears and his arm around her waist and she falls asleep with a smile on face.

*

She wakes up again around seven am.

The sun is just beginning to show and she rolls over, into Ashton, who makes a tiny sound in his sleep and nuzzles her hair.

Yawning hugely, she opens her eyes and smile sleepily at her soul mate/she guesses boyfriend who looks unfairly angelic while he’s sleeping, his lips curving upwards just a little and his hair all messy and soft looking and his cheek creased from being pressed into the sheet all night.

It’s a nice sight, and she falls back asleep with a content sigh and nestles closer to him.

*

“Who’s the girl in Ashton’s bed?”

She doesn’t quite want to get up yet and curls into Ashton’s chest, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I dunno. I know him and Luke went out last night to get shit from the vending machine. Maybe he picked up a girl on the way back.”

“It’s like five steps from our door.”

“Yeah well, they never came back last night did they?”

“Touche.”

“Go away guys,” Ashton grumbles, and his voice vibrates his chest and his morning voice is unfairly attractive.

“It speaks!”

Ashton grumbles more. “C’mon, we didn’t get to bed until five last night-“

“Ooo, why?”

She hears him sigh. “Ugh, not why you think Calum. Jeez.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I wasn’t awake last night, anything could’ve happened.”

She stifles a laugh in the pillow but he notices.

“Morning,” he whispers, shifting back a little so he can actually see her.

“Morning,” she whispers back

“Who is this?”

She turns over, stretching and looks at the boys who are smirking in the doorway. One is the boy from the coffee shop the first time, Michael, and the other is a boy with dark hair and russet eyes.

“Dude I know her!” Michael exclaims.

“What?” the other one asks.

“Yeah, that’s the chick from the café. Dude. Whoa. Duuuude. Ashton man! Congrats.”

She watches him blush and smiles.

“That’s Calum,” Ashton tells her, sitting up and stretching. “And pretty sure you’ve already met Michael.”

“Mm,” she agrees, and she supposed she could get up now, she just doesn’t really want to.

Ashton leaps up. “D’you want some coffee? Or tea? Do you take it with honey? Ugh, you’re my soul mate and I don’t even know if you like tea. But. Do you?”

“I like coffee in the morning,” she says, smiling at him.

He salutes and pretends to march out of the room and she laughs, getting up and following him, ignoring Michael and Calum’s shocked look.

She sits at the table and watches him bustle around, humming and making the coffee and it sort of scares her, how she could spend every morning of her life doing this and love it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Calum begins, sliding next to her. “What? What’s going on?”

Ashton rolls his eyes as he sets two mugs on the table. “Sugar and milk in the kitchen.”

She gets up and dumps in more sugar and milk than she probably should and smiles against the rim of her cup as she hears Ashton, Calum and Michael whispering feverishly.

She gives them a little more time before she heads back to the table and sets her coffee down to draw the chair out when Ashton grabs her waist and yank her down into his lap.

She laughs and kisses him and tries to reach for her coffee and can’t quite reach it. Ashton smiles against the skin of her neck and easily grabs the cup.

“It’s ‘cause you’re so much bigger than me,” she mutters and he laughs.

“So,” Calum begins, drumming his fingers and leaning back into his chair. “What… how did you meet?”

“The café,” Kate shrugs.

“How?” Calum asks again.

She looks up at Ashton and wonders if he would like to tell it.

So he nods and she leans back into him as he begins.

“So like, one day me and Michal stopped in this little café that’s really cozy, with like fairy lights and such. And it’s right when we’re about to catch that flight to Australia, right? And I step in and there’s this girl and she looks like a troll, man, a troll.”

She’s pretty sure it’s a joke, but she never really got what was sarcasm when it was about her, because she thought all the same things for two years and she’s still sensitive to that. And when Ashton says that, she knows it’s a joke. She thinks it is but she can’t tell, because she’s thought that so much and punished herself for it.

But she lets her hair fall over her face and  tries to lose herself in his voice.

“Nah, but really, she was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. And I go in and we talk a little and then we gotta go because, you know, Australia, right? But after that I felt so hallow, so empty and I missed the girl at the coffeeshop down to my bones and I didn’t know why.”

“You were pretty sulky then,” Michael agrees.

“So we go back to London, yeah? And I get up the nerve to go the coffee shop again while I’m out fetching food for you monsters and she’s there again and we talk more, but the you,” he points at Calum. “Calls me and flips about how you need food, so I have to leave without even saying goodbye, which absolutely sucked just so you know.”

“Sorry bro,” Calum shrugs.

“Nah, it’s fine. Anyways, so last night Luke forces me to go and get Mars Bars for him or whatever, and we’re walking along and there’s this Irish dude there and we chat, and it turns out he’s playing hide and seek with his friends and I tell him if I was playing, I’d hide behind the vending machine. So I slide between them and there was someone hiding back there.”

“Lemme guess,” Michael says. “It was her.”

“I’m Kate,” she speaks up, smiling.

“Anyways,” Ashton interrupts, apparently eager to tell the story. “We chat and walk for a while and I ask her what her favorite soul mate tattoo is. And, well, the rest was history.”

“I’m happy for you man,” Calum says.

“Yeah man,” Michael agrees. “And where’s Luke?”

“I think he’s still at my flat,” Kate laughs.

“Let’s go look,” Ashton suggest. She agrees and they get up and head out the flat door, down the hall and into the flat.

Just like she thought, Louis, Niall, Alex, Katie and Luke are all spread out across the floor and couches, sleeping.

“How much later do you think they were up?”

“Eh, late. Should we let them sleep longer?”

Niall puffs out a snore.

“Yeah,” Kate agrees. “Let’s.”

She goes to take a shower and Ashton contents himself with flipping through magazines until she’s done.

“So, what should we do today?”

“Up to you,” she replies cheerfully.

“Don’t tell me that! I suck at deciding this. Ugh.”

“I made a list of questions to ask my soul mate when I met them,” Kate says honestly. “We could do that today.”

“What are the questions?”

They head into her bedroom and sit, cross legged on the bed.

“Page nineteen.”

He flips to the page and begins to read. She knows what he’s reading, she wrote it herself, the first question the day after Luke found Perrie and her was swollen with tears and she’s pretty sure her hand writing is probably completely messy.

“Tell me about every person you loved, and why, and why they loved you.”

Ashton looks up. “Jasmine Dorhauer. She was the only one. I loved her because she liked to watch me play drums all afternoon and she never told me to stop believing, that we would succeed someday. She believed in me, always. She liked to make brownies every Sunday and we would sit in her kitchen and eat them and just talk. I guess I was just… in love with her, herself, you know?”

Kate nods, because she knows exactly what he means.

“She said she loved me because whenever I played the drums I had ‘the most real face on’ and that I always looked happy. She said that my eyes were green like ‘herbs’ which was a weird description, but whatever. She said she loved me because I apparently never believed in anything more than my music, and I guess she liked that.”

It’s irrational, of course, but jealousy isn’t rational and she ignores it best she can.

“What about you?” Ashton asks. “Tell me about every person you loved, and why, and why they loved you.”

She takes a deep breath. “There were two. The first one, was when I was fourteen. It was the first time I had ever been in love, and it had that quality, you know? Irrational but fierce and there. And everything was blurry and a little out of focus, because I was so in love with the idea of soul mates and in love with him.”

“It was Luke, right?”

She nods. “And I loved him because I always had to sweep his blond hair out of his eyes because it was always falling in the way, and I loved him because he had four freckles on his cheek I liked to count when we kissed. I loved him because he held my hand like it was the most fragile thing in the world. I loved him because he would give me an earphone to listen to and whisper the words to me during lunch. I loved him, because he was him.”

And Ashton nods.

“He loved me, because he said my eyes were like apples, and I always laughed at his jokes and back then, I hated soul mates and I guess we were both kind of rebels. He said he loved me because I noticed when he was sad, and always knew what to do. He said he loved me because I was perfect.”

Of course, she knows she isn’t now.

“Jas broke up with me because she found her soul mate,” Ashton explains. “It wasn’t a painful break up, we both understood it would have to end sometime.”

“You were better than me, then,” Kate laughs. “I wasn’t expecting it, when Luke found Perrie. I was so shocked, and sad, and I didn’t know what to do. I blamed it on myself. I blamed it all on myself.”

Ashton looks at her with a strange look on his face and holds her hand a little tighter.

“Tell me about a day in your life you thought you wouldn't live to remember.”

“It was dark out and eleven at night. We were singing along to something, I don’t know.” His eyes narrowed. “No, I do know. It was ‘Tonight, Tonight,’ you know, by Hot Chelle Rae? Yeah. And his mom looked back and smiled at us, and she lost control of the car. It went veering into the side of the road and it was so scary, and I remember thinking ‘this is it. I’m never gonna meet my soul mate, the one who has the moon right where my sun is. I’m never gonna tell my children about how I met their mother. I’m never gonna go home and see my mom and never again am I gonna fall asleep in my bed looking at the ceiling.

“But we were all fine. A couple of bruises and scratches and stuff, we were so lucky. I honestly thought I wasn’t gonna live.”

Kate scoots a little closer to him on the bed.

“How about you?” he asks. “What’s your story?”

She takes a deep breath.

He waits eagerly.

“I don’t. Um. Can we talk about it later?”

He nods and scoots closer, wrapping his arm around her waist and resting his cheek on her hair. “I’m sorry for prying-“

“No, it’s fine.”

They’re quiet for a moment and then he reaches for the journal again.

“No,” she stops. “Let’s… do something else.”

“What song do you listen to at two am, when you can’t sleep?” he asks.

She swallows. “I listen to Somebody Out There.”

And he nods, and they’re just comfortable, sitting there on her bed, pressed up against each other.

*

“I have to work.”

“Am I allowed to come with you?”

He pouts, and Kate caves because that is really too adorable.

“Sure,” she laughs.

He leaps up and stumbles over the side of the bed, landing on his face and she bursts out laughing, and he blushes, standing up. “Um, yeah. Let’s get going.”

Still giggling, she leads the way out of the flat, past where everyone is sleeping and outside into cloudy outside.

“London,” Ashton grumbles, and she laughs, and he takes her hand and she likes that, walking down the street to work with her hand in his.

She opens up shop, ducking into the back room to change into her uniform and making sure the coffee machines were ready.

He watches her, moving around with the rainy light filtering through the window and decides he might just like to spend the rest of his life here.

*

Jack comes in around eleven, as usual, and Kate and Ashton are leaning against the counter, laughing at one of Kate’s stories.

“Hey,” Jack greets, eyeballing the boy. “You’re Ashton, right?”

He looks a little bit confused. Kate blushes. “Um, long story. Jack knows who you are, though.”

Ashton’s eyes light a up a little bit. “Oh, so you talk about me?”

“No,” Kate says at the same time Jack says “All the time.”

They glare at each other and Ashton laughs. “Okay then.”

“So have you figured out you two are soul mates yet?” Jack asks, glancing over the pastry cabinet.

“Um… what?” Kate asks. “How did you know?”

Jack snorts. “Please, the way you looked at each other. And didn’t you notice the matching tattoos?”

Well then maybe Jack is a little more observant than she previously thought.

“Uh,” Ashton says. “No… we didn’t.”

“Took you long enough. She was wallowing about you for weeks.”

“Shut up,” Kate mutters, poking Jack, who snorts.

He’s just about to say something when Kate’s phone goes off.

“Hello?”

“I hate him, Kate, I hate him so fucking much.”

Kate tilts her head. “Who?”

“Michael fucking Clifford.”

“Um… what’d he do?”

“You know what he did? He put whipped cream on mine and Louis’ hands. Nobody fucking does that to us. And he’s so arrogant, ugh, walking in with his fancy colored hair and his supposed punk feel. He’s a wannabe, stereotypical much? And then he blabbers on and on about how much he loves music and shit, and how it’s what feelings sound like or whatever the hell, which is so totally completely true but Kate he’s just doing it because he’s an arrogant, wannabe hipster punk! I hate him!”

“Calm down bro,” she tells her twin, feeling faintly amused.

“It’s not funny!”

“I never said it was,” Kate denies, but ends up giggling.

Katie makes  a growling sound and hangs up.

“Who was that?” Ashton and Jack ask in unison.

“Katie. She hates Michael.”

Ashton looks up, grinning from his phone. “He hates her too.”

Ash yo soul m8’s twin is absolutely dredful I h8 her so much omg

They laugh and Jack apparently decides Ashton is a customer and begins scribbling on a napkin.

‘lol u guise r so cute 2gether xoxo’

Kate rolls her eyes but smiles and grabs the napkin and the pen.

‘thanks bro J’

‘course bby xoxo’

Ashton looks amused and then Kate decides it’s time to stop.

“He’s not really a customer,” she informs Jack.

He sighs painstakingly and shrugs. “I guess not, ‘cause he’s your soul mate. Which I guess is special? Is it special? I dunno. I’ve never had my soul mate. Funny, that. Oops. Wait. What. Of course I haven’t gotten my soul mate, duh. I’ve told you that. Did you know that sometimes there’s people who don’t love their soul mates? They just don’t. They like, fell in love with somebody else. I don’t know. I don’t! Aw man, what if that’s me!?”

‘He talks a lot lol x’

‘I know. You’ll get used to it.’

‘Nah, it’s charming, I guess.’

‘that’s good. I love Jack, he’s my bestie :3’

‘haha, okay c:’

She grins at him and Jack catches it.

“What- Oh my god! You’re using napkins! I thought that was our thing! What! Oh my god I am so hurt right now, I can’t… I can barely function. What. Is. This.”

Kate sighs and smiles at Jack. “Sorry.”

Jack glares at her and grabs the napkins, reading them over and then suddenly bounces around the counter and hugs her. “Aw, I’m your bestie? Thanks, Kit Kat.”

Ashton smiles because they both know that’s their tattoo.

“So,” Jack says, sitting down. “Um. Yeah. You guys are soul mates? Have you had sex yet?”

Kate and Ashton turn a bright red and glance awkwardly away from each other.

“Hashtag awks,” Jack says breezily. “I’ll take that as no.”

“Um, so, my shift ends at four,” Kate tells him, rapidly changing the subject.

Ashton blushes and once again she decides blushing Ashton her favorite, that lovely pink staining his cheeks. “Um…. Would you like to… go out for dinner with me?”

She smiles at him. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

Jack makes a rather obscene hand gesture where he takes his hand and made a hole and took his finger and shoved it through it.

“Ew, gross no!” Ashton cries.

“Stop!”

Jack snickers. “Love birds.”

But this time, they don’t blush, just catch each other’s eyes and smile, because well, they’re rather gone for each other.

*

When she gets off at four, she almost runs all the way home (which isn’t that impressive, it’s only like three blocks) and shoves into Katie.

“Ashton is taking me out to dinner at six and ugh, I don’t know what to do!”

“Alright, alright,” Katie begins. “First, did he say what?”

“It’s a surpise,” Kate exclaims, throwing her hands up.

“That’s easy, Kit Kat, calm down. C’mon.”

Her twin leads the way down the hall and Kate dutifully follows her.

“Okay, well, you need like. Hmm…. Jeans and a button down?”

It takes almost all of two hours but soon she’s ready to go and she decides she looks pretty good but also completely chilled out, like she didn’t just spend two hours doing it.

“Good luck,” Katie tells her, hugging her.

Ashton is waiting outside, leaning against his car and wearing almost the exact thing as her, only the guy version.

They both just sort of laugh when they notice.

“We match,” she says.

He just sort of smiles and wounds his arm around her waist.

They get into the car and he starts it up.

“Where are we going?”

Ashton just winks at her and she sighs, smiling a little, because even though she hates surprises, she doesn’t really mind them with Ashton.

She turns the radio up, and sings along to the music, and gazes out the window, smiling to herself, the wind from the window tangling in her hair. When she glances at him, he’s gazing at her and biting his lip and maybe fantasies can become reality, maybe nothing is impossible.

He takes her hand, tangling their fingers together and smiles at her, dimples flickering on either side of his cheek.

The city outside is a blur of lights, and Kate looks up at the sky, and the rain is just as pretty as she remembers and she’s happier than she was before.

It hurts a little, just remembering what it used to be like.

Ashton turns the radio station on and a monotone voice fills the car.

“Weather warning for London. Violent storms and high winds.”

There’s a deadly silence in the car and Kate turns around and for the first time notices the ominous dark grey clouds behind her.

“Well,” Ashton begins. “This is a good first date.”

“I guess we should, head back?”

“I guess.”

He pulls into a random driveway and turns around.

“That was a pretty spectacular date.”

“Thanks,” Ashton said dryly. “We were meant to go dancing, you know.”

She smiles at him. “That sounds lovely.”

He grins at her. “Well, it would’ve been, except there’s a storm.”

“It’s s’okay. We can have a marathon at the flat,” she suggests.

He smiles at her again. “Okay.”

So then he has to focus on the road and she gazes out the window, not as clear as it was before, since the glass’s nicks and specks of mud clung to it.

But she can still see the way the trees bow in wind, and the clouds that are still threatening. It’s a little unnerving.

“How long till we get back?” She asks.

“Probably about half an hour, forty five minutes.”

She glances out the back again, biting her lip. She hopes the storm will hold out that long.

*

It doesn’t.

“Ashton, you should pull over,” she tells him.

He runs an anxious hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess…. I just… want to make it home.”

“We’re not going to; the snow’s kinda coming down really fast. We should stop before we get snowed in.”

He squeezes his eyes shut and opens them, switching the headlights on high.

There’s a little pull off ahead and he turns the steering wheel, pulling in.

They sit there in silence for a moment.

Ashton ducks his head awkwardly. “So… what’re we gonna do?”

“Turn off the car,” Kate instructs. “We’ll only turn it back one later, yeah? When it’s gets really cold. We want to be able to get out again.”

He nods and turns the car off. There’s  a sudden silence.

“Um, okay, okay,” Ashton sighs. “Well…. We’re gonna be here a while. The storm warning isn’t off effect until noon tomorrow.”

“We’ll find something to do,” she reassures him, then realizes how wrong that sounded. “Oh… um…”

He laughs at her. “I get what you were trying to say. Well…. Do you remember the questions you had to ask me? I mean, your soul mate.”

“Ashton, you are my soul mate.”

“Yeah but…. I didn’t wanna be conceited.”

She nearly laughs at his adorableness. “Okay. And I don’t really remember some of the questions.”

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Ashton suggests, clapping his hands together.

“Yeah, okay,” she agrees.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

He narrows his eyes at her. “You were supposed to say dare.”

She laughs. “Oops.”

“Ugh, fine. Have you and Alex had a thing?”

She’s quiet. “Um….”

His eyes widen. “Oh. Oh. I see.”

“No, no,” she protests. “I’m not sure what it was. It was kind of a, like…. I don’t know. We kissed twice.”

Ashton is quiet for a moment. “Did you love him?”

She nods. “Yeah, I love him. I love him a lot.”

“Yeah, but were you in love with him?”

She bites her lip. “I don’t know. I think maybe a little, I was. Like… not enough for me to be sad we were never more than friends, but enough that he was only one I wanted to talk to after a hard day. Enough that we kissed twice. Enough that his hurt is my hurt.”

“Okay,” Ashton says, and there’s some jealously in there.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

She glances around the car. “Um… I dare you to…. Jump outside. In your underwear. For thirty seconds.”

Ashton glares at her and unbuckles his belt, tossing it in the back. “Damn you.”

She laughs at him.

He wriggles out of his pants and she covers her hands with her eyes, peeking through her fingers as he opens the car door and jumps out, flailing around.

She laughs again, and clutches her stomach because it’s the most hilarious sight, to see Ashton spazzing in no pants in the middle of the snow storm.

He jumps back in, shaking his hair of snowflakes and she giggles, and holds his head still between her hands and kisses him. His lips are cold and it turns from sweet and simple to deeper and they break apart and he sends her a goofy smile and yanks her all the way into his seat.

“If you wanted to sit next to me we could just go to the back,” Kate suggests, trying not to laugh.

He looks a little sheepish. “Oh yeah…”

He helps her over the seat and she smiles to herself, because he doesn’t know how nice that is, but she does.

They collapse on the back seat and he tugs her so she’s leaning against him.

“Truth or dare?”  He asks.

“Dare.”

He sends her an appraising look. “Okay. Let me think.”

She shivers, because she’s a bit cold and Ashton has yet to actually put his pants back on, he’s just chilling out there in his boxers.

She refrains commentary.

“I dare you to… I dare you to… take your shirt off and jump around in the snow.”

“Original much?”

He ignores her and she sighs, taking her shirt off and opening the door.

It’s really fucking cold out.

She shivers and then jumps back into the car, since Ashton never set a time limit and  frantically yanks on her shirt.

He smirks at her. “Couldn’t stay out there longer?”

She glares at him and shivers and within moments his smug expression melted away and was replaced by one of concern.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I’m fucking cold.”

He wrapped his arms around her and started hyperventilating on her shoulders.

She tried to restrain a laugh and failed. “What are you doing?”

He smiles into her shoulder. “I’m warming you.”

“Is that what this is?”

“Yes.”

She turns and laughs into his arm.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

She considers it for a moment. “What was your first thought when you saw me?”

“I think, like… my soul kinda went ‘oh, hi, I’ve been looking for you.’

She laughs and blushes. “You’re such a dork.”

“Thanks.”

“But not in a bad way.”

“I even have nerdy glasses.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll wear them tomorrow, if we get back in time.”

“Okay.”

*

“I hate him so, so much.”

“I know.”

“I swear to god he is the bane of my existence, the bane of it. This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“I hate him too.”

“We gotta do something.”

Louis sighs. ‘What can we do? Nothing. Ashton and Kate are soul mates, we’re stuck with him forever.”

Katie shudders. “That sounds like hell.”

They were interrupted as the devil himself appeared.

She glares at him because ugh, his hair is all…. Dark and silky and his eyes are just too blue-gray and if that is fucking eyeliner she’s going to kill someone (mainly him).

She narrows her eyes at him and he just smirks smugly. Well then.

“Go away,” she snaps.

“You go away.”

“No you.”

“You!”

“You!”

“You!”

“I was here first!”

Michael glares at her. “I hate you.”

“I hate you more.”

“I hate you more.”

“I hate you so, so much.”

“I hate you so much you don’t even know.”

“I am so above all of this,” Louis sighs, rolling his eyes.

“But Loooou, I need your help,” Katie whines.

“Sorry babe, but this is just a little childish for me.”

Which is completely hypocritical because Louis is like a four year old on the best of days and two on the worst.

Katie huffs and stomps from the room, sort of wishing Kate had never found her soul mate, or that her soul mate wasn’t friends with such a jerk.

*

“Wait, so you guys record naked?”

Ashton shrugs. “It’s like… our thing?”

Kate snickers. “Yeah, alright. Your thing.”

“Mmm. I’m sure you have your thing.”

“Um… not like that.”

“Yeah but you’ve got to have something.”

She thinks about it for a moment. “Um… I like to wear this certain sweater to work on Wednesdays.”

“Why’s that?”

She turns a bright pink and looks down. “No reason, absolutely no reason at all.”

He smirks. “This is gonna be good.”

“No it’s not because I’m not telling you.”

“Pleeeeaaasse?”

He then makes the most adorable face she’s ever seen, where his eyes get impossibly big and his dimple appears without even smiling and he looks utterly heartbreakingly adorable.

“It was… kinda because… I met you on a Wednesday wearing that certain sweater….”

Ashton beams at her. “That’s so cute.”

“Noooo!”

“Yes!” He smiles at her. “It is.”

She crosses her arms. “Whatever.”

“I can’t believe you wore the same sweater on the same day we met.”

“Shut up.”

“I just- awww!”

“If you don’t shut up right I am going to kill you.”

He smiles but quiets, leaning against her. “Fine.”

“What time is it?”

He checks his watch. “12:10.”

“Ugh… six hours.”

“I know. I know. And twelve more.”

“At the worst.”

He shrugs. “What’re we supposed to do?”

“We could like, sleep,” she suggests, grinning slightly.

“I guess that could happen,” Ashton agrees.

It takes a bit of awkward moving (“Shit, Kate, watch our elbow,” “Dude, was that your-?” “Yes. Yes it was”) but soon they’re in a comfortable position where Ashton is lying on the seat and Kate is sort of half on top of him and half not.

“I’m kinda cold,” Kate whispers.

He wraps his arms around her and she sort of falls between him and the seat.

“Better now?”

She giggles. “Yeah, yeah.”

Slowly, they fall asleep.

*

“They’re probably just having sex.”

“That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. You are the most disgusting person I’ve ever met.”

Michael rolls his eyes.

It’s about midnight, maybe a bit later and they’re all worrying a bit about Ashton and Kate.

Well, sort of a lot.

Or at least Katie, Luke, Calum, Louis and Niall were. Michael was making crude remarks every now and then and Alex was beyond worried, practically crying by now.

“Okay, okay don’t panic,” Luke begins. “They’re probably okay.”

“There’s a horrible storm warning out there,” Alex moans. “Oh my god, she’s dead. Kate is dead.”

“Shut up Alex,” Katie snaps, but even she’s looking a bit worried.

“Dead!”

“We can’t survive without our drummer,” Calum says mournfully.

“Oh my god, you guys,” Michael sighs. “They’re fine. They’re probably just chilling somewhere.”

Alex makes a keening sound.

“I’m not going to bed until they get back,” he decides, standing up.

“Same,” Katie echos.

The others agree. Michael looks towards the ceiling and sighs. “I guess.”

“I like how concerned you are about your friends,” Katie mutters.

“Shut up,” Michael glares. “I am concerned.”

“Then act like it, huh?”

“Why don’t you stop shoving your nose in someone else’s business?”

“Why don’t you stop being an arsehole?”

“Why don’t you stop being bitchy?”

“Why don’t you stop existing?”

“Why don’t you stop living?”

They glare at each other while Louis and Luke roll their eyes.

“Emo.”

“Jerk.”

“Wannabe punk.”

“Fangirl.”

“Failure.”

This goes on for a while until they start running out of insults and Katie turns away, crossing her arms and glowering out the window.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you more.”

The others trickle out of the room.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I think there’s like, sexual tension between those two,” Calum shrugs.

“Yep,” Louis agrees. “It was killing me inside.”

“I’m just gonna let them do whatever they want until they realize it,” Alex shrugs.

“This is kinda entertaining,” Luke admits.

They all laugh as Katie shrieks something like, “OH MY GOD CLIFFORD JUST GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”

*

They both don’t sleep very well.

It’s not very comfortable, and it’s a bit cold, and they just don’t.

So Kate isn’t surprised at all when they wake up and it’s only 6:46 am.

“Um, so six hours,” Ashton shrugs.

It’s still dark out and there’s still snow flurrying around.

He kisses her and it’s deep and slow and probably a little too heated and his shirt disappears sometime during it.

Eventually, they break apart and Ashton tugs his shirt back on and they start talking.

“Um… so what now?”

“Eh.”

“Truth or dare?”

Kate leans against his sadly now clothed chest. “Truth.”

“Why didn’t you tell me what your closest brush to death was?”

Kate’s breathing catches. “Um…”

Ashton watches her expectantly.

A flashback of fear and blood and white tiles.

“You can tell me, y’know?”

“I know… it’s just… hard for me to talk about.”

“Oh… Well… you don’t have to.”

She smiles at him thankfully. “Okay… thank you Ashton.”

He’s looking over her protectively and she blushes.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

She glances around. “Um… I dare you to…. Kiss me.”

He smirks and kisses her.

“Well that was fun. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me.”

She smiles and kisses him. “Truth or dare?”

“Um… truth, because I feel like if I say dare we’ll end up just kissing.”

She giggles. “Okay. What’s your most embarrassing moment with a girl?”

Ashton groans loudly. “Oh god. Where to begin? Well when I was in school, I took a girl to the cinema, tripped over her popcorn and spilled soda all over. She never called me back….”

“I wonder why,” Kate snorts.

“Truth or dare,” he says, ignoring her.

“Truth.”

“What do I have to do to make you fall in love with me?”

She’s about to say ‘Nothing, I’m already there’ but then she thinks about it.

“You have to,” she slowly begins. “You have to tell me what song you listen to by yourself, at two am with your laptop screen dimly lighting up your face. Let me watch you pace through your kitchen, barefoot on a Sunday morning, humming as you make coffee, turning the pages of yesterday’s newspaper or that new book you got. Tell me that one line from a song that makes your heart drop into your stomach. Tell me about that one time when you were six that makes you grin uncontrollably and about that time when you were ten that makes your eyes water. Let me watch you in a room with nothing but white walls and an acoustic guitar. Tell me what you see right before you fall asleep.”

Ashton holds her hands a little tighter.

“Truth or dare?” she asks.

“Dare.”

“Make me fall in love with you,” she whispers.

He kisses her cheek and pushes her hair from her face. “At two am, when all I can see is the city lights from my window and it’s dark and my eyesight is blurring a little bit from tiredness, I listen to- or at least used to listen to- Skin by SIXX:am.”

“What do you mean, used to?”

Ashton blushes. “Now… I listen to Begin Again, by Taylor Swift. Which is kinda feminine and lame, but… it reminds me of us. I mean, when it’s not going on about how she likes wearing high heels. I also think Everything Has Changed kinda describes us, too.”

She smiles at him. “It’s not lame at all. And I agree.”

“The one line that makes my palms sweat and my heart beat a little faster and my eyes water the first time I heard it is right after that line in A Rush Of Blood To The Head, y’know, by Coldplay? It’s ‘if you can tell me something worth fighting for.’ Because I’ve never had something worth fighting for. At least, not until now.” He blushes and glances at her before looking away again.

She smiles.

“The one time when I was six… once, I had this neighbor growing up. She was this like, really nice old woman. And one day she made us cookies. I think she was kinda crazy because she threw them up in a tree and told us to get them. I seriously did, and then I shoved all the cookies down and it was like, legit raining cookies.”

He’s smiling now, as he says it, and Kate could so, so easily fall in love with that smile.

“The one time when I was ten. Somebody walked up to me, and said,” and then Ashton’s voice cracked, just a little bit. “You deserve the worst soul mate in the world, faggot, your forever should be the worst thing in your life.’ I don’t know what it was but… it got to me.”

So Kate scoots a little closer to him and hugs him. “Hey, I don’t suck, do I?”

Ashton smiles at her. “Nope. Far from it.”

She blushes. “See?”

“We can do the other stuff later. But right before I fall asleep? Before, I saw us, like the band, and we were performing places that were newer and cooler and we had fans, and it was the best. But now, I see you.”

He states it simply and she kisses him.

“Are you in love with me yet?” he asks cheekily.

“Have you played me guitar in a white room?  I think not.”

He sighs. “We’ll do that later.”

He leans their foreheads together. “I don’t think I need to do anything to fall in love with you.”

She smiles. “Are you sure? There’s so many things you’ll have to fall in love with, too.”

Ashton chuckles. “Like what?”

She shifts back. “If you fall in love with me, you’re falling in love with my insecurities and obsession to find out what others think of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to be loved and appreciated, my over active tear ducts, my internet addiction, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams and the way I’m just a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and my imperfections and my perception that no one could ever love me.”

He starts to speak but she shakes her head.

“But,” she begins again. “You will also fall in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, and how I’ll text you in the morning just to tell you to have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasional humorous/thought provoking things I say and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing you will be falling in love with is me, despite me thinking it’s impossible.”

Ashton wraps his arms around her. “I’m going to enjoy falling, then, huh?”

“Are you?”

He kisses her nose. “Yep.”

Kate snuggles into him. “What time is it now?”

“7:34.”

It’s beginning to lighten outside, though it was hard to see through the snow, which was still swirling about.

“Ashton?”

“Hmm?”

“I think we kinda forgot something…”

“What?”

“Phones.”

They’re quiet for a second.

“Holy shit,” Ashton curses. “We have phones. What the hell is wrong with us?”

“I don’t know. I just remembered now….”

Ashton leans forward and grabs his phone, where it’s fallen out of his pants pocket.

“Twenty-eight missed calls, and a hundred and thirty four text messages.”

They gaze, wide eyed, at each other.

“Oops?”

Ashton calls Michael and Kate leans forward to listen.

“Hello?”

“It’s Ashton.”

“Oh my god, man, everyone has been freaking out. You will not believe. I think Alex actually cried at one point?”

Kate bites her lip.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Ashton begins. “We were heading back but then the snow got like, really bad so we pulled over and kinda forgot we had phones.”

“Smooth,” Michael snickered.

“Shut up.”

“When do you think you guys will be home?”

“As soon as we can, but I’m not sure.”

They say chat for a little bit longer and when Ashton gets off the phone, Kate is asleep.

She’s lying in such a way her hair falls over the seat and in the dawn light, almost glows. Her eyes are closed and her eyelashes are brushing over her pale cheek and her pink lips are parted slightly as her warm breath washes over his arm.

She’s just so beautiful.

He supposes this is when it all starts.

He reaches for his phone and opens up the note app.

‘When she’s in a certain angle, there are freckles on her cheeks you can’t see any other way. It makes me feel like I’ve been let in on a secret, like I might be the only one who gets to see her laying in such a way her sixteen freckles stand out.’

And then he turns his phone off and lies back against the seat, carefully wrapping his arm around her so she wouldn’t get cold and closes his eyes.

*

Now that they know Ashton and Kate are okay, the tension has lessened considerably.

It’s around ten am that Luke, Niall, Calum, Alex and Louis go to get pizza (at ten am, yes) and leave Katie writing in her room and Michael doing god knows what.

They don’t actually realize their alone together in the same flat until about ten minutes later when Katie ventures out of her ‘hole’ as she calls it for food.

Michael is sitting on the couch, playing video games and also apparently checking Twitter.

She glares at him and stomps loudly into the kitchen.

“You’re going to get fat if you keep eating.”

“Shut up Michael.”

“I swear to god, I don’t think it’s healthy.”

She rolls her eyes and ignores the tone of scorn in his voice. “At least I do productive things all afternoon instead of staring at a screen.”

Michael snorts and she flushes because she kinda forgot she wrote on a laptop.

But to be honest, she doesn’t ever consider writing staring at a screen like some people.

“Yo, toss me a Pepsi,” Michael says.

She smirks and throws it as hard as she can at him, hitting him square in the stomach.

“Son of a bitch,” he curses. “I hate you so much, oh my god, you’re such a child.”

“I hate you more!” she trills happily, skipping down the hallway.

He scowls and gets up from the couch, grabbing a Pepsi and sitting back down. And damn, she annoys the hell out of him.

Except just now, under the lights of the kitchen, her eyes were this really pretty shade of green.

She leans back into her chair and narrows her eyes, because she hates him a lot. Like, a lot, lot.

But there was that moment when his lips moved to say her name when she was transfixed.

*

By the time they wake up it’s stopped snowing.

“Whoa,” Kate breaths, gazing out the window. It looks like a wonderland, everything bad and evil hidden by the thick fluffy layer of snow.

“It’s beautiful,” Ashton says, but he’s not looking at the snow.

“It is,” she agrees, but this time she isn’t looking at the snow either.

“Should we try driving again?”

“Probably. We should try to get home.”

So Ashton falls over the back of the seat and into the driver’s side and yanks his pants on and Kate just sort of sits there and laughs.

They start the car and okay, yep, they’re going to have to call a tow company.

“Best. First. Date. Ever.”

Ashton sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“I was being serious, it was really fun.”

She smiles at genuinely and he responds by taking her hand.

This time she calls the tow truck and he kind of loves watching her expressions while she’s on the phone. Like, the one where the other guy is talking and she’s spinning her hair around her hand, or when her nose crinkles when she’s doing the ‘polite laugh’ and the way her nails tap the side.

It’s weird how he already knows what laugh is fake and what isn’t.

She hangs up. “They’ll be in here in about an hour and a half. Apparently a lot of people need towing today.”

He laughs and they sit there for a moment, both not sure what to do next.

“Umm…”

“So do you think Michael and Katie will ever stop hating each other?”

“Well yeah. I mean everyone can feel the tension.”

She giggles. “I thought I was the only one!”

“No, everyone feels it. I give it… a month.”

Kate shakes her head confidentially. “Katie is stubborn. I say a month and a half.”

“Deal. Wait, what do we get out of this?”

“The loser has to pay for Starbucks for the next two months.”

Ashton pouts. “Okay… that’s a lot to lose.”

“That’s the idea.”

“I’m gonna win this by the way.”

“Uh-uh, nope. I know her better.”

“Yeah, but I know Michael better. And he’s incredibly into the whole ‘sooner better’ thing. So a month.”

“Unless Katie holds out. Which she will.”

“I know. Normally I would’ve given them two weeks but I guess we can see what happens.”

“I’m gonna win.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Y-“

He claps a hand over her mouth. “I think that’s enough.”

“Is it? Is it really?”

“Yes,” he says quickly. “It really is.”

They smile goofily at each other and he squeezes her hand.

“I can’t believe I found my soul mate,” Kate whispers.

“I know…. It feels so… surreal.”

“Like a dream.”

“Then I don’t want to wake up.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, looking over at him and biting her lip.

“What time is it?”

“About forty five minutes until the tow truck arrives.”

“Awesome! I am so hungry, ugh.”

“I know…. I’m so ravenous, I could eat a cow.”

“Pleasant metaphor.”

She whacks his arm and laughs. “Shut up.”

“Shutting up.”

“Actually I take that back. You can keep talking.”

He shakes his head at her. “You are so weird, you know that?”

“Yes.”

“Like, really weird.”

“Thanks.”

That’s when the tow truck pulls up.

“Oh thank god,” Kate exclaims. “Yes. Food!”

He laughs at her and they get out of the car, going over to the younger man in the truck.

The cabin (that they have to ride in because they have to, and well, no one wants to ride in their own car) and it’s nice and warm and the man is friendly.

“So what did you two do all night?” He asks, sending them a lewd wink.

They both flush.

“None of that,” Ashton says quickly.

The driver (whose name is Zack) snickers and they retain a thankfully less suggestive conversation on the way back.

*

When they get into the apartment, a little damp from snow, they are instantly attacked by hugs.

Alex is practically in tears (looks like Michael wasn’t lying), as is Katie, and Luke, Calum, Louis and Michael look relieved. Niall looks halfway like he could have been crying or just laughing really hard.

“You’re okay!” Katie wails. “We thought you died!”

“Nope,” Kate replies, smiling. “We were just stuck.”

“I can’t believe you forgot about your phones,” Luke snickers.

“Shut up,” Ashton grumbles, but he’s smiling.

“There better be pizza left.”

“Yeah, in the fridge.”

Kate and Ashton make a beeline for the kitchen and scarf down the pizza, them both choking a little.

“Hungry, huh?” Michael asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Duh,” Katie says, rolling her eyes. “They’ve been trapped for like, ever.”

Michael glares at her and she glares back.

Ashton and Kate smirk.

“Soooo,” Calum begins, dragging it out in such a way it sounds suggestive. “What did you two do?”

Kate rolls her eyes. “Stuff.”

“Like?”

“I believe I was without pants for a while,” Ashton says thoughtfully.

Everyone’s eyebrows rise almost in sync and Kate starts resembling an apple, whacking him. “Not helping, Ash.”

He winks at everyone.

“It’s not what you think,” she says at the same time he says, “It’s exactly what you think.”

She groans. “Oh my god, what am I going to do with you?”

He giggles adorably and any anger she would’ve had disappears because it’s completely impossible to be mad at him when he’s so cute.

“Exactly what you did to me in the car.”

Well maybe he isn’t as cute if he keeps making these comments.

“Do, do, do,” he hums innocently as she glares at him.

“I hate you,” she declares, turning away.

He steps closer and she purposefully ignores him.

“Kaaaate…C’mon babe, I didn’t mean to irritate you.”

She gazes at the ceiling.

He stealthily wraps his arms around her waist from behind. “Kattteeee.”

“Nope.”

She can practically feel him brighten.

“You said something! That’s a start.”

“Nooope.”

“I promise I won’t say anything again. Well, around them.” He snickers.

She grunts.

He spins her around and looks at her, giggling adorably and god, he really has to stop that because it stops her from getting mad.

“I hate you so much,” she says but she’s smiling.

He beams, and it’s kind of amazing, that there’s genuine joy at the fact she’s talking to him again.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.”

“I am not!”

“Yes you are,” he smiles, sidling up to her and taking her hand. “You’re adorable.”

“Shut uuup.”

“I’m gonna keep saying it till you believe it.”

“Well then you’re gonna be saying it for a while.”

“Forever, I hope.”

He grins at her and she rolls her eyes, smiling, and then someone calls, “Oi, lovebirds! Out of the kitchen, that’s where we eat, you sick people!”

They roll their eyes and head into the living room, dropping onto the couch.

Michael and Katie are glaring at each other from across the room, Luke, Louis and Niall are playing Monopoly and Alex and Calum are rapidly discussing bands and music stuff Kate can’t even begin to understand.

“Do you have to work tomorrow?” Ashton asks, nuzzling her a little. He reminds her sort of a kitten.

“Mhm, at like six thirty in the morning.”

He makes a sympathetic sound. “Sorry. That’s like, really early.”

“S’pose. But I’m used to it.”

“Stop being cute,” Luke moans. “I want Perrie.”

“Then get Perrie,” Calum says, shrugging. “Call her.”

Luke’s face lights up and he looks to Kate for approval.

She shrugs. “I don’t care, what’s one more person?”

So he eagerly gets out his phone and says eagerly, “Hey sweetheart. Do you wanna come over to this-“

She smiles and sticks her tongue out a little, happy that her friends are happy.

“I like your tongue.”

“Well that was a weird compliment. And a bit suggestive.”

Ashton looks completely innocent. “It isn’t suggestive. I honestly like your tongue, it’s cute.”

Almost on instinct, she closes her mouth.

“Nooo,” he whines, poking her mouth with his finger.

She whacks his hand away and giggles.

“Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate. Kate.”

“What!?” Kate finally exclaims, tearing her gaze away from Ashton and looking over to Louis.

“Are you gonna make something to eat?”

“Can’t we just order something?”

“We ate pizza last night though!”

“C’mon, guys,” Ashton rises to her defense. “Like, we were stranded in a snow pile. Cut us some slack.”

“Fiiiiine,” Louis groans. “I guess we could do a McDonalds run or something.”

“Yeah, who wants to go?”

“Not me,” seven voices call out.

Michael swears and Katie looks horrified.

“I’m not going with him!”

“Don’t force me to go  with her!”

“Sorry bro,” Calum shrugs. “Snooze, you lose.”

“I hate you,” Michael grumbles, standing up and throwing on his coat. He arches an eyebrow at Katie. “Well, you coming?”

“Yes, now be quiet.”

He snorts as she grabs her coat and they head outside.

Michael drives and there’s an incredibly awkward silence.

She decides to ease the tension and pokes him.

This poke results in him running a red light.

“Shit,” he curses. “Why the fuck did you do that?”

“I was just trying to ease the tension,” she shrugs.

“God, well do something else next time. Don’t abuse me.”

“That wasn’t abuse, I poked you!”

“It hurt!”

“Well that’s pathetic.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You are so pathetic.”

“No!”

“Yes, you have a crush on your sister’s best friend.”

Katie turns the brightest red.

“I knew it,” Michael announces triumphantly.  

“I don’t,” Katie says quickly, glancing sharply out the window. “Ew, definitely not. He’s like a brother to me. Stop.”

“I’d hate to think that’s what your siblings are like.”

“Shut up! I do not like Alex! At all.”

“Ha! I didn’t even mention Alex. It could have been Louis, or Niall!”

“I don’t like him!”

“Mhm. Okay. Then why is there that sickening sparkle whenever you look at him?”

“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.”

“Nope.”

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, fuck.”

“I’m only being stubborn because it’s not true.”

(okay maybe it was a little true but c’mon , was she really going to tell Michael that?)

“You like him,” Michael continues. “I  can tell because you look at him with like, really big eyes and they kinda have this moonful sparkle and you always blush when you talk to him. It’s a bit sickening, to be frank.”

“Shut up,” she snarls, glaring out the window.

He snickers but shuts up, at least until they get to the drive thru and he orders for everyone.

“I don’t like Alex,” Katie says again.

“Suuuure,” Michael drawls, drawing it out to sound sarcastic.

She crosses her arms. “I don’t! Why would you think that?” she holds up her hand. “Wait, I already know. Never mind. I mean… ugh. I just don’t, okay?”

“I’ll believe you when I start actually liking you.”

Her frown deepens. “I hate you so much.”

“I hate you more.”

They don’t say anything for the rest of the way.

*

Yeah, she has a crush on Alex.

It’s a bit stupid, and just a crush, of course, and started this one time when Kate was at the café and Louis and Niall were working on Louis’ acting career and they were alone, listening to music and joking around and then she just sort of… started liking him.

But it’s not like she’s gonna do anything about it, because that would be stupid and lame and no, she just isn’t going to do it. No matter how strong this crush got she wouldn’t make a move. It just isn’t going to happen.

Plus, she’s a little bit afraid of what Kate would think, since they had  some sort of…. Thing going on. She isn’t quite sure what, or when it started or ended or if it ended but there’s enough adoration in her sister’s gaze when she looks at Ashton that reassures her whatever she had with Alex is surely done.

Except Alex still sort of looks at her twin like she’s the sun and the moon and everything in between and it always makes Katie a little jealous, because she has this crush on Alex. And this is what it all amounts to (sort of) that she likes Alex, in that way.

They have a kinda complicated love triangle going on, because Kate and Ashton are soul mates, and meant for each other in every way, and Alex still likes/loves Kate (which is just a bit wrong, you really aren’t supposed to covet someone else’s soul mate, it just isn’t done. But whatever, it’s Alex, and it’s her sister, she knows how lovable her sister can be. She also knows how much you can love someone you fixed) and she likes Alex, not as much as he probably likes Kate, admittedly, but enough  to be addressed. Enough that her stomach gets butterflies when she sees him, and his voice causes tingles down her spine.

And then Kate and Ashton are in their own little bubble, happily gazing into each other’s eyes and giggling and being all soul matey, and wow, this would all be resolved if Alex and Katie’s soul mates showed up.

And then there’s Michael.

And she isn’t sure why he’s important enough to think about in bed before she falls asleep (which is where she thinks about most things) but he is, and that frustrates her, because she hates him.

He laughs at her and insults her and ignores her and then gives her far too much attention (but only to the bad parts of her- like she can’t see those already) and keeps on badgering her and pulls pranks on her and Louis, which just isn’t done and is just generally annoying and mean. And oh god, he has pink hair and his lips are too big, and she  sort of wonders what it’d be like to kiss them. And she’s pretty damn sure he wears eyeliner, which is a disgusting thing because he’s seriously being too wannabe emo here.

But, he also has really pretty eyes, and this all really confuses her so she turns over on her side and closes her eyes.

*

“Stop,” Katie growls, glaring at Michael.

It’s only her, him, Alex and Luke and Perrie sitting there. Ashton and Kate are still asleep, and Calum, Niall and Louis are all playing video games.

Perrie and Luke are a lovely couple, despite the serious flashbacks of when she was fourteen and had to watch her own sister fall apart, and Perrie is completely gorgeous, with violet hair and pale skin and dark eyes and Luke is just as handsome, with his side swept blonde hair and bright blue eyes and he looks at Perrie like she’s the very universe, like he’s a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

It’s the way Ashton looks at Kate and she really wishes someone would look at her like that.

But anyways, whenever Alex says something to her Michael is winking at her from across the room and soon Alex will notice and it will all be incredibly embarrassing.

“So Ashton and Kate are still asleep?” Perrie asks. She hasn’t met Kate yet, apparently, but wants to, which Katie can understand because well, her twin.

“Mm,” Alex hums.

“Ashton talked about her so much,” Luke sighs, wrapping his arm around Perrie. “After they apparently met in the coffee shop. He was all like ‘she had really pretty eyes, guys, kinda like if you took apples and –insert poetic Ashton thing in here- and mixed them together.”

“Kate was the same,” Alex agreed. There’s a sudden terseness in his voice and Katie realizes there’s something there that no one knows about and she thinks it might have to do with that night Kate and Alex were sleeping in the same bed and there were tear tracks on Kate’s face.

“I said her eyes were green, with the tiniest bit of russet and if you looked close enough, flecks of gold.”

“Cue Ashton,” Michael mutters.

Indeed, Ashton is standing in the doorway, hair rumples and wearing a t-shirt and boxers.

“Where’s Kate?” Katie and Alex ask simultaneously.

“Still sleeping. She was really tired, I think. Oh, hey Perrie.”

“Hey Ash,” Perrie nods, smiling at him. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Just swaggin as usual.”

She laughs. “Yeah, alright.”

Ashton grins at her and then a small voice called, “Ash?”

“I’m coming babe!”

“Aw,” Perrie coos, leaning into Luke’s chest. “They’re so cute.”

“Oh god, just wait till they’re right in front of you,” Michael moans. “It’s verging on sickening.”

“Only ‘cause you’re a guy,” Perrie points out.

“Thank god for that,” Luke mutters.

They’re interrupted by giggling and Kate and Ashton stumble into the room, looking less morning-ish but hair still rumpled and looking suspiciously pink cheeked.

“Oh, hey, you must be Perrie,” Kate says, running a hand through her glossy dark brown/red hair that matches Katie’s.

“Yeah, I am,” Perrie says, smiling at her. “It’s absolutely lovely to meet you, Ashton hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

Kate blushes and Ashton gazes at the ceiling. “It’s great to meet you, too.”

Katie thought that there might be some tension between them, because well, Luke and Kate and high school and soul mates and little four leaf clover tattoos, but it isn’t.

Katie gets up and heads into the living room, collapsing next to Louis and otherwise ignoring Calum and Niall.

“C’mon, wanna go help make lunch?”

Louis dutifully gets up and they head into the kitchen.

“So how are things with Alex?” Louis asks, leaning against the counter.

One of the things Katie loves about Louis is his ability to be serious if it’s needed. She also likes how she’s the only one he tells what’s wrong to, and she likes how he knows almost as much about her as Kate.

They might not have such a tenuous friendship like Alex and Kate, but that’s only because, from the fragments she can get, Kate was sad and Alex helped her (she was never given details, why they look at each other with the sad understanding and protectiveness, but that’s okay because they don’t understand her and Louis either) but they ‘re still the best of friends, and he’s the only one who knows about Alex.

Of course, she would have told Kate but the whole thing with her and Alex was a bit too confusing and she didn’t want to cause any trouble.

Louis had the perfect reaction, by announcing he shipped it and immediately composing several plans of action and this is one of the many reasons she loves her best friend.

“It’s s’alright, I guess,” she shrugs. “I mean, nothing’s different.”

“It’s not gonna change over night,” Louis reminds her. “It’d be better if you told him, you know.”

“Do you seriously think I could do that?”

“No, but I can hope.”

They work in silence for a minute.

“Hey, so what’s up with Michael?” Louis asks softly.

“What do you mean?” She asks, confused.

“I don’t know. I feel like you really don’t hate each other like you act.”

“Haha, no, I do hate him.”

“Well, alright.”

“He just kinda has nice lips.”

Another reason she loves Louis. He doesn’t tease her about it, just nods. “Yeah, he does.”

“So…. Have you met the Jack yet?”

They’ve taken to referring to Kate’s coffeeshop friend as ‘the Jack’. Don’t ask why, they just do, and let’s add that to the list of things she loves about their friendship. They sort of have conversations impossible for other people to understand.

“Nope, not yet. Soon, though. Did she tell you he’s apparently met Ashton?”

“No.”

“Well he has. Which is so completely unfair, because like c’mon, her soul mate meets the Jack before we do?”

Louis quirks an eyebrow at her.

She relents. “Okay, okay, I guess they met in the coffee shop and all of that, but still.”

“I do wanna meet him. He seems nice.”

“Yeah, and he could be cute.”

Louis smirks at her. “Exactly, my friend, exactly.”

She laughs and cries, “Sandwiches guys!”

There’s a flurry of movement and Niall gets there first, lunging for two and bolting away before someone could stop him.

“Oh, Niall,” Louis says, shaking his head. “Rambunctious little bastard.”

Katie laughs and Calum and Alex come and go, and she blushes because Alex catches her eyes and smiles at her.

Perrie and Luke come and go and Ashton and Kate are last, and they’re obviously wrapped up in each other, and when they get they’re sandwiches, Katie can see them sit at the table as Ashton feeds her sister bits of it.

She rolls her eyes but feels a brief stab of jealously, mostly because she wants that, and she’s sure she doesn’t want to wait any longer.

Louis catches that and grabs her arm. She faces him.

“Hey, you’ll meet them soon enough. I promise.”

So she hugs him and whispers “Thank you.”

*

Alex isn’t completely okay with this Ashton guy.

He seems alright, yeah, and he’s never seen Kate as happy as she is now, and yeah, they’re soul mates, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Yeah, Ashton is irritatingly lovely, and his smile is too wide for his face and he looks a bit like a puppy when he’s sad, which Alex hasn’t seen that much, but still.

He’s just a little jealous. Maybe because he knows now the number one person in her life isn’t him anymore and her butterfly isn’t gonna be named Alex any longer, and it feels like he just lost everything he had in life.

Sure, they’ll remain best friends, but it won’t be like before. It won’t be the flawless connection and it won’t be the same.

He’s a little bit in love with her, and seeing her with Ashton and smiling that smile that’s so happier with him than with Alex feels like all the goodbyes in his life in one minute.

“Hey,” Kate says brightly, sitting down next to him as Ashton goes off to do something. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Alex replies evasively, knowing it won’t work because Kate knows him better than anyone.

Her smile fades. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

“You know that won’t work. C’mon, tell me.”

He sighs and turns. “Can we at least go to the bedroom?”

She nods and they stand up.

“Where ya going?” Ashton asks from behind them.

Kate says something to him and they go into his room, the one where she would crawl into his bed late at night and fall asleep in his arms. The one where she cried because of Ashton. The one that now feels like it has far too many memories.

“Tell me,” Kate orders.

“It’s just,” Alex sighs. “I don’t want to….”

She waits patiently.

“I don’t want to lose…. Us.”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to stop talking really late at night and I don’t want to stop when you sleep with me after long work days because the truth is, I sleep so much better those nights and I look forward to them. And I sort of hate that you’re so much more happier with him, because I liked being the only one who could make you smile like that. I liked it. And I don’t like how you’re happy with him, I don’t like how you look at him with these big eyes and they’re so filled of adoration and it makes this one part of me hurt, because… because just well, because.”

She squeezes his hand.

“It’s just,” he continues. “I know we couldn’t ever be anything. Even if we tried, we wouldn’t have been anything. I wish we had tried, though. I wish that one day in my car, we had actually talked about the kiss. I wish we had admitted then, because things could’ve been so much different. I know we would have met our soul mates eventually, but at least I would’ve known we did what we could have been.”

She starts to speak but he shakes his head.

“No, sshh. It’s too late now. Because you’ve found him, and I want you to be happy, I just regret it, you know? We had so much time. We could’ve been so much, because this whole time we’ve been on this edge, we both knew we were. And maybe it wouldn’t have worked out, and maybe in the end we would’ve just been friends again, but we could’ve tried. Because I’m in love with you, and I have been for almost five years and I never said anything because I was scared, and because I just… I don’t know. I wish we had, though, Kate. I wish we gave us a chance.”

She shakes her head, tears in her eyes. “Alex… you did know I was in love with you, right? Because I was, I still am, a little bit. And I wish we had tried to, you don’t know how much this sometimes bothers me at night, all the regret I didn’t say anything then, earlier, right now. And maybe we could have been so much. Maybe we could have been completely and utterly happy. Maybe it would have been the best, but all we have is ‘maybes’. I’ll always love you but it’s just…”

“Too late,” he fills in.

“Yeah,” she agrees. “But you’ll always be my favorite ‘what if’.”

 


	4. midnight

It takes a couple of hours but they’re back to being best friends. And to be truthful, they both feel better after getting it all off and Alex is just a bit more accepting now.

“What happened in there?” Ashton asks her later. It’s late and they’re sitting on the bed, talking.

“Nothing,” she replies.

“Kate, you can tell me. I won’t be mad. I know that I’m like, new and that Alex and you have this long history I don’t know about and it would make sense-“

“It doesn’t matter that you’re ‘new,’” Kate rolls her eyes. “I already love you. What really happened is that we said some stuff that had needed to be said, for the last five years.”

“That’s a long time,” Ashton says, eyes wide.

“Yep,” she agrees, yawning. He almost coos.

“Do you wanna go to bed?” He asks, smiling at her. He won’t tell her, but the thought of her and Alex having whatever they have terrifies him, because he’s already completely gone for her and it’d really fucking hurt to lose her.

“Yeah,” she agrees.

It takes her almost no time at all to fall asleep and it’s longer for him.

Her hair is spread across the pillow and he grins, because she’s really, really pretty (beautiful) and he likes this whole her falling asleep next to him thing.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers. “I love you, and to be truthful, if you and Alex had something, I would stand back because I’m already in love with you and if he made you happy, I would let it happen. But I’m really glad you don’t, because I love you.”

And he grabs his phone again and makes a note.

‘At night, when it’s really dark out, and her secret freckles are standing out (sixteen of them) you can also see this hollowness in her cheeks, like she was once really sad. It makes me sad, her being sad. But it also makes me love her a little bit more because she’s still here.’

So then he hits ‘save’ and wraps his arm around her waist from behind and closes his eyes.

*

“Don’t you ever do anything but sit with me in a coffee shop all day?”

Jack shrugs. “Not really.”

Kate snorts. “Obviously not.”

“Hey, are you complaining? Because I could just leave. It’s not that hard. I just like, get up and open the door and leave. Just like that. Gone forever. You could never see me again, you don’t even have my phone number.”

She thinks about that for a minute. “Wait… you’re right. What’s your phone number?”

“Oh, so now you ask for it. I see how it is.”

“I’m sorry for teasing you Jack. It won’t happen again.”

He sighs piteously and holds his hand out for her phone.

When she gets it back, she sees to her amusement his name is ‘The Bestie xoxo’

“I like it,” she nods when she feels his gaze on her.

“Good, because it wasn’t changing.”

“I could change it tonight.”

“But you won’t, because you like it.”

“I suppose…”

He nods and sits back against the table. “So how’s Ashton?”

As if on cue, a dreamy smile starts on her face. “Good.”

He snickers at her. “You are so infatuated, oh  my god.”

“Just wait till you meet your soul mate,” she warns. “Then you’ll see.”

“Uh-huh. I bet I won’t be as whipped as you. Oh god.”

She smirks. “How about this: if you are as whipped as I am, I get to tease you as much as I want.”

“Deal,” Jack agrees, shaking her hand.

They separate and a customer comes in.

‘You should really introduce me to your friends sometime xoxo’

‘I could say the same to you.’

‘aw come on, all I know is Zack and Rian. You know like, 1003718236474 xoxo’

‘not that many, honey.’

‘Stiiillll xoxo’

‘Ugh okay, fine. You can meet them soon, I promise.’

‘yay!!!!!!!! Xoxo’

‘that was entirely too many exclamation points.’

‘hehe oops xoxo’

“So when do I get to meet them?”

Kate shrugs. “Eh, I don’t know. Soon?”

“Helpful.”

“I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”

“Okay,” he nods. “So like, my favorite flowers are roses. And I think I need a guy who likes daisies. It’s just a fact of life.”

(she knows someone who’s favorite flower is daisies)

“That’s…. nice?”

“Yep.”

Kate fixes her apron. “You know how people make lists of what they want? Like, ‘I want someone who’s really sweet’ or ‘brown hair’. I personally think that’s all bullshit because people aren’t lists. Someone’s gonna come along and whether they have brown hair or blonde, you’re gonna fall in love and everything won’t matter.”

“That’s deep man.”

She rolls her eyes. “Jack, you aggravate me so much sometimes.”

“Oops?”

She laughs. “I guess it’s okay. So what have you been up to today?”

“Same old, same old. Hung out with Zack and Rian. Looked for my soul mate. Didn’t find them. Found a deal on Big Macs, though. Ate a Big Mac. Came here.”

“Cool,” Kate nodded.

“What about you?”

“Same old, same old. Woke up next to Ashton,” cue goofy smile, “Ate breakfast. Came here. Hung out with you.”

“Ha, I’ve had a more productive day then you.”

“Yeah, but I had to work. You could just meander around doing shit.”

“Touche.”

She smirks.

“So, how did you get through that big storm a week ago?”

“Oh…” she turns pink.

Jack’s eyebrows rise considerably and he leans forward. “Oh?”

She whacks him. “It’s nothing… me and Ashton just sorta got stuck in a car under a, like, snow drift.”

“And…?”

“Nothing happened,” she tells him, rolling her eyes. “We just talked and slept and stuff. And played Truth Or Dare.”

“Aww, did he dare you to be his girlfriend? ‘Cause that would have been cute.”

“No, but there was stuff like that.”

He beams at her. “I ship you guys so hard, damn.”

“I’ll ship you and your soul mate too, harder!”

“I ship you and Ashton so hard, you don’t even know.”

“I’ll ship you guys hardest.”

“I ship you guys so hard it hurts.”

She pouts. “I guess you win this time but only because I’m tired.”

“Sure that’s why.”

“It is!”

They spend the rest of the afternoon goofing off and Jack takes a Keek at one point, making a shout out to her for Rian and Zack and also yelling about how she’s not his girlfriend, he’s gay, thank you very much.

*

It scares Katie a bit, how at home she kind of feels with Michael.

Like, he creates this weird warm feeling when she’s around him. And not like the stereotypical crush, but more… firm. Settled. Real.

But she still hates him.

He’s rude and petty and completely pretending to be something he’s not and arrogant and loud and far too joke-y and not serious enough.

(she doesn’t seem to realize that her, Louis and Michael are sort of the same).

“Maybe we should create eHarmony accounts,” Louis suggests one afternoon.

“What? No. I’m not meeting someone through an online dating site.”

“It doesn’t have to be someone! It can be your soul mate. Like, what if you meet your soul mate through this?”

“Oh great. I get to meet my soul mate through an online dating site. Sounds fun.”

“Stop being so sarcastic. C’mon, think about it.”

Katie shakes her head. “No. Definitely not. I’ve thought about it and decided no.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Lou, do you really want us to meet them through a dating site? We could have a super romantic story like Ashton and Kate. Don’t throw it all away just yet.”

“Why is their story romantic?”

“They met in a café, Louis, a café. Haven’t you ever read a fanfiction?”

“No, not really.”

“Well then you wouldn’t understand. It’s the most romantic thing in the world, you’ll see. You go in and there’s a cute barista, and he doesn’t get your name so he writes ‘beautiful’ on the cup instead, and you guys talk. And then he gives you his number and you hang out all the time, and fall in love. It would be so great, argh.”

Louis stares at her. “I still fail to see why this is romantic.”

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever. You don’t need to see.”

“Maybe I should start reading fanfictions.”

“Yeah, like Harry Styles ones.”

Louis turns the color of a tomato. “Shut up!”

Katie snickers. “I know all about it, Lou. You could’ve just told me you had an obsession, I didn’t have to find it out by going through your internet history and seeing a whole bunch of other stuff I really could have gone without seeing.”

He glares at her. “Oh my god, what the hell? You brought that upon yourself, going through my internet history! How did you even get in there, anyways?”

“Easy. I know your password.”

His mouth drops open. “What? What is it?”

“Harry Styles, once again.”

“Oh god,” Louis groans. “This is so horrible.”

“It’s not so bad, Louis. We all have our guilty obsessions.”

“It’s not an obsession!”

“You’re subscribed to fourteen fanfictions of him, love. I think you’re a bit obsessed.”

“It’s dedicated, okay?!”

She laughs at him. “I was just kidding. I wrote some of that fanfiction.”

Louis shoots up. “Wait, really? Who are you?”

She just smirks.

“Katie, please! Come onnn.”

“Maybe later. Want some food?”

He follows her into the kitchen, staring at her piteously with big blue eyes as she gets out some pasta. “Stop looking at me like that! I am not going to tell you!”

More big eyes.

She caves.

“Ugh. Fine. I’m herystiles, happy now?”

He beams. “Yes! I love you! And your fanfictions.”

She blushes. “Oh, well thanks.”

“Psh, course. I didn’t know you shipped Jarry, I thought I was the only one.”

She takes a bite of her pasta. “Well, Liam and Zayn are obviously dating each other, I can’t make Harry break them up, so it’s either my own male character, which ew, or Josh and Harry.”

“You could always write me and Harry.”

She thinks about it. “You guys would be Larry Stylinson.”

“I think that’s the best ship name ever. Can you yes.”

She laughs. “I’ll think about it. Where is everyone, anyways?”

Louis bounces into the living room. “I dunno. I’m pretty sure Perrie and Luke and Ashton and Kate are out on like, a double date thing.”

She glances around the empty living room. “Huh, wonder where everyone else is, then.”

“Probably shopping or something.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Louis’ expression gets more serious. “Hey…”

“What?”

“It’s been a year, almost.”

Her eyes widen. “Wow… it has, hasn’t it? Because it’s May.”

“That’s… surreal.”

“One year… one year since we moved in.”

“Almost one year,” he reminds her, plopping next to her on the couch.

“Right,” she agrees. “Almost a year. But still. And Kate’s found her soul mate.”

“Yeah, about that. What do you think of Ashton?”

“I think he’s amazing. I mean, for her. He’s nice and sweet and funny and I think he’ll take good care of her.”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. They’re all a bit protective of each other, you see.

“So,” Katie begins. “Do you wanna do something?”

“Eh, not really. I just kinda wanna sit here all day long and do nothing.”

“Haha, very funny.”

“I’m one hundred percent serious. Don’t we have like, Friends or something?”

“Louis, we’ve seen Friends like fifty million times!”

“Do I look like I care? Now put it in, peasant.”

Katie rolls her eyes but grabs the disc and pushes it in the DVD player.

“Now make me popcorn.”

“The only reason I’m doing this is because I want popcorn too!”

“I don’t care, sweetie, it just matters that you’re doing it. Now get to work.”

She laughs and shoves the popcorn into the microwave, hitting the button.

“Oh, microwaved popcorn.”

“It’s the shit, man,” Louis agrees.

“Mm,” Katie hums.

The microwave hums and she takes it out, shaking it so butter won’t fly everywhere and dumping it into a bowl.

“I ship Chandler and Monica so hard,” Louis says thoughtfully, gazing at the screen.

“Don’t we all?” Katie points out.

They’re interrupted as Michael comes through the door, pink hair ruffled and covered with bits of melting snowflakes.

“It’s bloody cold out there, for May! I swear, this is freaky weather.”

Katie smiles at him, not really wanting to hate him right now. “It is weird, isn’t it? It’s almost June.”

Louis’ mouth falls open. “It’s almost your birthday!”

Katie thinks about that. “It is.”

“When’s your birthday?” Michael asks.

“June first.”

“How old are you gonna be?”

“Me and Kate are gonna be nineteen.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Michael starts up. “You guys are twins!?”

Louis and Katie just sort of stare at him.

“Um… yeah,” Louis says in his sassy voice. “Didn’t you know?”

“No. I didn’t. I just thought you guys were sisters.”

“Nope, we’re twins. Same birthday and all of that.”

Michael blinks. “Oh. Okay. Dude, does that mean you have like, soul mates that are brothers?”

Katie raises an eyebrow.

“Wait… Ashton’s brother is like, nine. Okay. Never mind.”

She laughs at him. “Well, we have similar tattoos. Like, yeah. We do.”

“D’you think your soul mate is someone close to Ashton?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. It could be someone completely different. But looking at our tattoos, yeah, I think so.”

Louis is watching her with an appraising look. She looks away from him because she knows exactly what he’s insinuating, and no, she still hates Michael.

So she turns around and glares at him, and he looks a little surprised, and she feels a little bad, but then he glares right back and the insults start off again.

Louis is still looking a bit suggestive but she ignores him, besides, he knows she likes Alex anyways.

*

“Smile!”

Ashton doesn’t have to fake smile, he’s already laughing (he says it’s because he likes making Kate mad. She wasn’t actually mad, she kind of likes it when he spins her around and kisses her) and Kate snaps the picture.

She turns her phone off and shoves it back in her pocket.

“I need to hear you guys play,” she thinks aloud.

“Yeah, you do,” Ashton agrees. “I mean, I don’t know how good we are but yeah, you should.”

“I’m sure you’re fantastic,” she reassures him. He blushes, scratching his ear.

They’re walking down the road. It’s finally begun to warm up, and the sun is shining, for the first time in what feels like forever.

“I’ve got to go away soon.”

She looks up sharply. “What?”

“I’ve got to go back to Australia, for a bit. At least to move here-“

She hopes all that she’s feeling isn’t on her face. She assumes it’s not, since she isn’t crying yet.

“You don’t have to move here, for me,” she tells him, because she knows how much Ashton loves Australia. He talks about it enough for her to know he loves his home.

“But I want to,” he says. “I’m here a lot of the time anyways. After touring with Hot Chelle Rae, I mean.”

“You toured with Hot Chelle Rae?”

“Yeah, I did. I thought I told you?”

“Nah, you didn’t. But that’s cool.”

She hopes her voice isn’t shaking that much.

“How long are you gonna be gone?”

“Hopefully only three weeks or so,” he tells her, taking her hand. “It won’t be long, promise.”

“Are you gonna bring Calum and Michael and Luke with you?”

“If they wanna,” he shrugs. “Doubt Luke will. He’s got Perrie, yeah? He kinda lives with her. Calum might, but you know. I don’t know.”

“What about Michael?”

“Katie.”

They both smirk at each other, because she’s pretty sure everyone can sort of see the two have a weird tension going on none of them can really explain.

They still pretend to hate each other, though.

“So you’re gonna go alone?”

He’s about to reply when his phone rings.

“Hold on a sec. Hey, Cal, what’s up?”

She watches him on the phone. He’s tapping his fingers against his phone and sort of gazing up at the sky.

He notices her looking at him and smiles.

“Alright, bro, that works. We’ll talk about it when I get home, yeah?”

There’s a pause.

Ashton blushes. “Yeah, she’s good.”

Kate smiles and he hangs up. “So it looks like Calum is coming to Australia now.”

“But no one else?”

“No, Michael and Luke want to stay here.”

They walk along in silence for a minute.

“You will… hurry back, right?” she asks.

He nods. “Of course. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“When do you leave?”

This time, he shuffles his feet and looks sheepish. “Um… I sorta bought a ticket for next Monday.”

Her eyes widen. “And you didn’t tell me!?”

“I wanted to like… I don’t know!”

“That’s… soon.”

“I’ll be back soon,” he reassures her, and does that adorable giggle that makes it so she can’t be mad at him anymore.

“Okay,” she agrees.

*

It’s all a bit stressful, the next few days. Because Ashton and Calum are rushing around, packing and Niall and Calum are practically inseparable, and by the time next Monday rolls around, they’re clinging to each other like they’re soul mates.

Ashton and Kate are quiet, and don’t say very much, but they’re both very pale.

Niall and Kate drive them to the airport (of course) and Niall and Calum are sobbing into each other’s shoulders as they stand in the echo-y building.

“I’m gonna miss you so much bro,” Niall wails.

“I’m gonna miss you moooore!”

Kate and Ashton laugh at them, but then they remember where they are and stop laughing.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Ashton tells her, looking down.

“I’m gonna miss you too.”

“I’m sorry I’ve got to go away.”

“It’s not your fault. And you’ll only be gone for a couple of weeks, yeah? It’ll be no time at all.”

He smiles at her. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“And I’ll call you everyday.”

“Okay.”

Then the monotone lady calls that the flight it boarding, and he hugs her tightly, and she hugs him back just as tightly, wishing they didn’t ever have to let go.

“I love you,” Kate mutters.

“I love you too.”

Niall and Calum are heading towards the gate, and they follow behind, pressed into each other.

“Goodbye,” she whispers when they get there.

“Soon,” Ashton begins. “We won’t have to say ‘goodbye’, only ‘goodnight.’”

She nods and kisses him one last time and then he’s gone, disappearing into the sea of people.

Niall comes up and wraps his arm around her. “They’ll be back soon, Kit Kat.”

“I know,” she sighs. “But it’s gonna feel like forever.”

He doesn’t really have anything to say to that, and they head home.

*

Kate is noticeably down afterwards.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asks one afternoon three days after Ashton left.

“Nothing,” she murmurs, aimlessly moving around the kitchen.

“Where’s Ashton at?”

She sighs. “Australia.”

“What?”

“He went to Australia.”

Jack looks at her sympathetically. “Is he coming back?”

“Yeah, in like, two weeks or something.”

“Hey, it’s not so bad.”

She cuts him some slack because he doesn’t have his soul mate yet and doesn’t understand, so.

“I suppose,” she nods.

Jack reverts the conversation to it’s usual playfulness and she goes alone with it, but honestly she really misses Ashton.

*

Later, when she’s getting ready for bed, she takes out her phone and goes through the photos.

There are a lot of Ashton, but one she likes particularly.

It’s the one she took right before he told her he was leaving.

It hardly does him justice, though. There’s so much the picture can’t see.

In this one, he’s laughing. Not a shallow laugh, though. No, this one comes from his chest and sounds the way chocolate tastes.

In this picture he’s wearing that really old blue sweat shirt that was his father’s in college, but worn by his mother when she was cold, and only nineteen.

In this picture, his cheeks are red. He got that color from kissing her right before, and twirling her around the side walk and into his arms for a kiss.

In this picture, his eyes are sparkling and he says it’s because he’s looking at the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, who’s just out of frame and will probably over romanticize the picture of an ordinary boy.

*

Ashton is already regretting come to Australia.

It’s hot, wow, really fucking hot, and he suddenly misses London and it’s same old, same old weather. He swears to god, people think the world is ending when there’s a rainbow.

And yes, it’s all very nice and good, seeing his family and his friends and his old room, but it’s not the same.

“So,” his mum begins. “This soul mate.”

Harry looks up sharply. “Ash found his soul mate!?”

Ashton blushes. “Yeah.”

“What’s her name?” His mum asks, leaning forward.

“Kate.”

“How old is she?”

“She’s turning nineteen soon.”

“Hmm. Where is she from?”

“Doncaster.”

“Is she nice?”

“Yes.”

He puts up with the questioning, since he has yet to break it to her that he’s moving away.

But it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, though, because it’s not like he’s around much, anyways. What with touring and everything. She should really be expecting it, honestly.

She isn’t.

“What!?”

“I’m gonna move to London…”

She gets up, grabbing a towel and mopping up the coffee she just sprayed everywhere. “I should have expected this.”

Ashton nods. “Probably.”

She rolls her eyes. “Be quiet, child. You gave your mother a heart attack. I think you got your cheekiness from your father.”

Ashton grins at her, dimples flickering.

“You promise you’ll come back and visit, yeah?”

“Of course, Mum.”

“And one of those times, you’ve got to bring her, sweetie, I need to meet your soul mate.”

He blushes a little bit and says more reluctantly. “Yes, Mum.”

“Good. And I know you want to go back, so go ahead and pack.”

His head shoots up. “What!?”

“Oh please, darling, I’m your mother, I know you want to go back to London. Just… go ahead.”

So he’s never really been happier with his family.

*

“So,” Michael begins one afternoon. “Ash is gonna be back tonight.”

Alex squints. “But I thought he was gone for like, two more weeks?”

“Him and Cal are coming home early. Don’t tell Kate, it’s a surprise.”

Katie coos. “Aw, this is going to be so cute!”

Alex and Michael look a little bewildered so she pokes Louis, who is sitting beside. “Isn’t it, Lou?”

“Katie, sometimes I’ve got to go with the side of masculinity and – aw, fuck that, it’s going to be adorable.”

“Dat’s gay,” Michael mutters.

Louis rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at him.

“I think only people who read fanfictions get it.”

“You read those!?” Alex asks, looking alarmed.

Louis nods. “Well yeah.”

“About who?”

His ears turn pink. “No one.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Who does he read fanfictions about, Kat?”

Katie shrugs. “I can’t tell you.”

Michael looks at her with big blue gray eyes and she quickly glances away, because as much as she hates him, he has really pretty eyes.

“Come ooonnn,” Alex moans, draping himself across her and Louis. “Please?”

“Nope, sorry, no can do,” Louis sighs, poking Alex’s eye.

“Not gonna happen,” Katie agrees, because as much as she has a crush on Alex, she won’t betray Louis like that.

“I hate you guys,” Alex pouts.

“Harry Styles!” Kate calls from the bedroom. “He reads fan fiction about Harry Styles!”

There’s a quiet moment in which Louis looks absolutely horrified, Katie is trying extremely hard not to laugh for the sake of her best friend, Alex is looking like Christmas came early and Michael is snickering gleefully.

“H-how?” Louis yells, voice cracking.

“Internet history,” Kate says, and they hear her get up and then she’s standing over them. “And your Wattpad app on your phone. And the Tumblr one. And all those others one.”

“Okay, okay,” Louis mumbles. “I get it.”

“I love you so much,” Alex tells Kate. “I’m  just… thank you so much for that information.”

“I’ve already texted Cal, Ash, Lukey, Perrie and Niall,” Michael announces.

Louis’ eyes widen. “What the hell, guys!”

Kate and Alex high five Michael and smirk.

“I hate you so much,” Louis moans, burying his head in a throw pillow.

“I’m sorry mate,” Michael says sympathetically. “Actually, I’m not sorry at all. This is bloody hilarious.”

“Ugh,”  Louis grumbles.

Kate just shakes her head to them and heads back to her room, stopping to put glasses in the sink.

“What are you doing in there, anyways?” Katie calls.

“Ashton,” is all she says.

Of course they all start giggling.

“Guys, guys, she’s doing Ashton,” Louis snickers.

They all laugh a bit too hard for a joke like that.

“Oh my god, guys, grow up!” Kate yells.

They laugh even harder.

*

“Bye Mum!”

“Bye, sweetie! Call me! Tell everyone hi for me!”

Ashton and Calum wave at them before boarding the flight.

“Can’t wait to go back,” Ashton grins happily as he kindly lets Calum have the window seat.

“Psh,” Calum grumbles.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Ashton rolls his eyes and puts his headphones in, knowing that Calum would tell him soon enough.

Sure enough, an hour later Calum starts poking his arm.

“What?” Ashton asks, tugging his headphones out and pausing his music.

“My soul mate is Danielle Peazer.”

Ashton stares at him. “What?”

He sighs piteously. “Well, I was watching some of her videos-“

Ashton snorts loudly because, well, his band mate is a bit obsessed.

Calum blushes. “Shut up. Anyways, she has a lock tattoo on her shoulder blade, and I have a key there, too. And she has a little cluster of hears on her elbow, and I have this little cluster of hearts on my opposite elbow. And she has this rose tattoo on her leg, and I have a rose too.”

Ashton just sort of stares at him, because he wasn’t expecting him to be serious.

“Like, how am I supposed to tell her?” Calum groans. “She’s with a popstar. She wouldn’t believe me anyways. She’s famous!”

“Cal,” Ashton begins, once he regains speech. “Chill out. If Danielle Peazer really is your soul mate, you’ll find her soon enough.”

He nods. “Right, you’re right.”

He smiles at his friend, and then puts his headphones back and tries to get some sleep before they land in London.

*

“Why are you guys acting so weird?”

Louis and Michael exchange a look and Kate stomps her foot. “Guys, seriously!”

Perrie holds an intervention. “Kate, I don’t think they’re doing it on purpose.”

But then Perrie and Luke exchange a look.

“Oh my god, I’m going insane,” Kate mutters. “I’m just gonna… go back into my bedroom. And have you guys heard from Ashton? He hasn’t said anything in a while, since this morning, and I’m a little worried.”

Once again, another secret glance.

“I hate you all,” Kate snaps.

*

It’s a half an hour later before she emerges again.

“Where are Luke and Michael?”

Cue another secret look.

“I hate you guys so much. Ugh. I’m just going to go eat.”

She retires to her room again, and she’s getting a little bit more worried about Ashton as each hour passes.

It’s about twenty minutes later when someone knocks on her door.

“I swear, if you’re just going to come in here and make irritatingly secretive glances and not tell me anything I will rip you apart! God! I’m just trying to figure out if some funky Australian animal ate my boyfriend!”

The door opens and Kate doesn’t look up, making a snarly sound.

“Kate?”

Well that’s unexpected.

She shoots up, because Ashton is standing there, grinning at her and here, and real and here.

She lunges into his arms.

Except he’s really freaking strong and kind of crushes her.

“Oof,” she moans. “Ash, you’re killing me.”

He draws back, offering a sheepish smile. “Oops… I’m sorry…”

She shakes her head. “It’s okay.”

There’s a sort of awkward silence.

“I missed you,” Ashton tells her, blushing.

“I missed you, too,” she says, and wishes she could tell him exactly how much she missed him without sounding weird. Because she missed him a lot, a lot, a lot.

Apparently he has no qualms about saying it (which is good, she shouldn’t have them either) and whispers, “I missed you a lot. Like… a lot, a lot. Like… that’s all I could think of when I was home. Was coming back.”

She isn’t sure what to say. “You’re… you’re…” she struggles, trying to find the right words.

But he understands.

They sit on her bed and he tells her about Australia, and she realizes that she might never be able to leave him again, because she gets really lost in his voice, and wow.

“Calum thinks his soul mate is Danielle Peazer.”

A laugh is startled out of her. “The dancer?”

“Yeah. He was telling me about their matching tattoos on the plane.”

“Do you think they actually are?”

“I don’t know, maybe. I’d have to watch some of her videos to see, y’know?”

“Poor Cal…”

Ashton wrapped his arm around her waist. “Yeah, he was going on about how he’s dating that boy band member, Liam Payne, and how she’s famous, and how they’ll probably never meet and if they do she wouldn’t believe that they’re soul mates.”

“She might, I don’t know. From what I’ve seen of Danielle she seems really sweet.”

“From what I’ve seen of Danielle,” Ashton mocks, laughing at her. “I think you probably spent forever finding things about her, since you’re so obsessed with Sky Scope.”

Kate blushes and whacks his arm. “I am not!”

“You totally are. What does Liam order at Starbucks?”

“Caramel mocha with extra whipped cream.”

Ashton raises an eyebrow.

“It’s dedicated, okay, not obsessed!”

“Uh-huh.”

They smile at each other and she ducks her head because well, she missed him a lot.

“Are you tired?” Kate asks. She supposes he did just arrive in London from Australia and would probably be jet lagged.

“Exhausted,” Ashton admits.

So they get up to get ready for bed and Ashton insists she wears one of his shirts as pajamas (she tries not to be pleased by this but she is) and she sleeps better than she has for days, with his arms around her.

*

She wakes up before him.

Which isn’t that surprising, because he’s jet lagged and all. But still.

She gazes at him. The sunlight is filtering through the window and turning the sheets the color of butter. Ashton’s hair is almost a warm caramel-y color, and his skin is flushed and he’s smiling a little in his sleep, his dimples flickering and he’s almost lit up, like, and he almost seems to glow under the sun.

“Stop staring at me,” he grumbles.

Kate jumps. “Oh. Right. Sorry, didn’t realize?”

His laugh into the pillow is deep and his morning voice reminds her of honey. He turns over and flashes her a smile, and it’s wide and beaming and takes up his whole face.

“You’re like sunshine.”

She blurts it out before thinking about it. He stops giggling.

“Shit, probably shouldn’t have said that. Um…”

Ashton looks at her with wide eyes and he’s blushing now, which aw, that’s adorable.

“You’re so lovely,” he tells her, the genuine smile spreading across his face again.

It’s her turn to blush and his dimples flicker and he leans forward and kisses her cheek before continuing to tackle her into the soft mattress. Sheets get tangled up and she focuses for a moment and all she can see is the white-yellow of the sheets, and all she can hear is Ashton’s care free giggle and the smell of his shirt against her skin and the laundry detergent of the sheets and him, the smell of toffee and apples and sunshine.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks her, rolling off of her so she can sit up and shake her hair out.

“Yeah,” she replies. I slept so well, Ashton. I haven’t for a while but now that you’re back I have. I guess this just proves we’re soul mates, huh?

She rolls off the bed and stretches. His heather gray sweater falls to mid-thigh and her hands are covered up by it, but he looks so happy to see her wearing his clothes, and she doesn’t really mind anyways.

And sometimes, she thinks that maybe he looks at her like she did earlier, and maybe he too thinks, ‘wow, she’s like sunshine.’

“I like you wearing my shirt,” Ashton begins casually, standing up and stretching.

She tries her best to ignore the way his arms flex. “I know.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well first of all, you wanted me to wear it. And second of all, I can just tell.”

He smiles at her. “Okay.”

She takes his hand and they head out of the bedroom.

It’s quiet and pink-ish beams are arcing through the windows.

“Hey Ash, what time is it?” Kate asks curiously.

“Lemme check- shit, it’s only six. Damn, I’m sorry. It’s me and my jet lag.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t mind. I woke up before you anyways. Or at least I think I did… I don’t even know anymore. But yeah. Should we make breakfast?”

That’s when they discover Calum’s donuts in the fridge and brew coffee.

Ashton places claim on the big arm chair and forces her to curl up into a sort of ball on his lap.

“Sooo….”

“When do I get to see you perform?”

He smiles secretly. “I have a surprise for you, for that. You’re gonna have to wait a bit longer.”

She pouts and he just grins at her and she pokes his dimple.

“Heeey,” Ashton whines. “That hurt!”

“It did not. I didn’t even do anything.”

“You poked my dimple.”

“With like, hardly any force.”

“Still.”

She rolls her eyes and then hops off his lap to go get more coffee.

He smiles, watching her tuck her hair behind her ear as she pours the liquid into her cup. Wishing he didn’t have to remove his gaze from her, he takes out his phone.

‘personally I think it’s the little things that make people fall in love. Like, the things they do when they think no one cares to watch them. Like when she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, or when she bites her lip or when she is adjusting her shirt. Or when she is looking at me like I am looking at her.’

“What are you looking at?”

He shakes his head as she sits back down, next to him on the over sized chair.

“I really like you in my clothes,” he says honestly.

“You kind of already said that,” she points out.

“Well, I’m saying it again. You look so cute.”

She blushes and ducks her head into his chest.

*

They spend the morning talking about Australia and things like if cheeseburgers are sandwiches (“They are,” Ashton protested loudly. “I don’t know,” Kate disagreed) and plotting how to get Calum to meet Danielle.

It’s not till ten that the others start to wake up.

Alex is first, and he beams at her, and she smiles back at him. It’ll always be like they have a secret, of course, because that’s how they work.

But, Alex is like the moonlight. He lit up the dark, and she liked to fantasize what it would be like to have it, and dreamt about it and it was the only thing she could see when everything else was black.

But Ashton, Ashton is her sunlight. He makes the day. He makes everything warm and happy, and golden. He’s friendly and sunny and happy, and she’s like a flower, living off his rays.

And in a way, she needs both to balance it out.

“Morning,” Alex says, plopping down on the couch and laying his feet across Kate’s lap.

“Ew, your socks are all nasty.”

He rolls his eyes at her. “Man up. They aren’t that bad.”

Ashton leans forward. “They are a bit rubbish-y, mate.”

Alex rolls his eyes again. “Ugh. Whatever.”

The next up is Michael, and he apparently decided to come right over from across the hall in nothing but boxers and his pink hair is sticking up everywhere.

“Coffee,” is the first thing he moans, waving his arms and stomping into the kitchen.

Kate, Ashton and Alex all catch each other’s eyes and giggle, and then there’s Katie, and she does the same thing as Michael.

“Fooood,” she moans, shoving her auburn-y brown hair that matches Kate’s out of her face and spilling Michael’s coffee all over Michael’s shirt.

He shrieks.

“God dammit,” he mutters. “Ugh I hate you. You just ruined my coffee!”

Looking considerably more awake than three seconds ago, she rolls her eyes. “It was just coffee, chill out.”

“Yeah but now I have to like change. And mop up my skin. And ow, that really fucking burned.”

She shrugs. “Oops.”

He narrows his eyes at her. “I hate you.”

“I hate you more.”

They glare at each other but the little scene is interrupted by Luke poking his head through the door. “Yo, have you guys seen Michael-“

He stops. “You know, Mike, we’ve got coffee at our flat.”

Michael ignores him.

Luke sighs and heads through the door. His hair is styled and his clothes are clean and Kate decides she might try talking Ashton into getting a lip piercing, because damn.

“Hey, Ash-“

“Maybe,” he cuts her off. “Maybe.”

She grins at him and then something shoots through the door and crashes into Luke (Calum).

“Bro, where’d you go!? I was like, ‘Oh, Luke will be back lol. But then you weren’t. And It was cold. And I was cold. And the world was cold. And everything sucked.”

“Sorry,” Luke shrugged. “I needed to find Michael. And then I was just like, ‘might as well stay here since party.’”

Calum just sighs and then grabs a donut.

Louis is, of course, last, and he comes out looking ready for a party or a boy band photo shoot, in black skinny jeans that could’ve been practically painted on and a white t-shirt and jean jacket, hair styled in a quiff and looking very model-ish.

“If you guys ate all the donuts I’m going to kill you.”

He somehow makes his slightly feminine voice vaguely terrifying and pretty much everyone in the room does a quick check to make sure that there are donuts left (there are).

Louis glances at Kate and Ashton and smiles, and catches her gaze. She smiles back at him and he winks and then Calum notices that she is wearing Ashton’s sweater.

“Whoa, you’re wearing his clothes now,” he exclaims.

Everyone’s heads swivel to look at them and Kate turns pink, hiding her face. Ashton blushes too, and Katie almost coos because they’re both ridiculously adorable.

“So,” she begins. “Sky Scope is coming here in four weeks.”

Kate’s mouth drops open. “They’re back from the tour!?”

“Mmhm. And performing. Which means we can stalk them, and stuff.”

Katie and Kate both have a minor freak out and Ashton looks a bit like ‘what even is this make it stop Kate what’ until they calm down.

“Does that mean Liam’s gf is gonna be here too?” Calum asks innocently.

“Well, probably,” Kate nods, knowing exactly why he wants to know.

“That’s cool,” he replies casually.

There’s a moment when everyone sort of awkwardly wonders why he wants to know.

“So when’s your shift?” Ashton asks.

“Two,” Kate replies.

“Should I come?” He asks.

She shrugs. “It’s up to you.”

(read: I really fucking want you to come, please)

Ashton glances at her and nods. “I’m gonna come.”

“Thanks.”

He smiles at her.

“So, when do we get to meet this Jack?” Alex asks, draping himself across the chair and the couch so he sort of covered everyone like a human blanket.

“I dunno,” Kate replies. She doesn’t really want them to meet Jack, which is selfish because she knows they’ll love him, but right now, Jack is her coffee shop friend and hers alone, and yeah, Ashton knows him, but it’s whatever because Ashton is Ashton.

“I wanna meet him soon,” Katie moans. “Sometime I’m just going to drop by randomly and meet him when you’re not expecting it.”

Kate laughs nervously.

Ashton watches her and looks up. “Guys, you can meet Jack soon. Let Kate, um… ease him into you guys.”

“In Ashton speak, that’s basically saying we’re crazy motherfuckers,” Michael sighs.

Katie stifles a laugh and Calum bites his lip. “So, guys…. When does Sky Scope come again?”

“A month,” Kate says excitedly.

Calum tries to look like he doesn’t care and Ashton raises an eyebrow at him.

“Why?”

“Nothing, nothing….”

“Hey, Michael, Luke, Calum, I need to talk to you guys.”

The boys get up and trail after Ashton and Kate tucks her legs up under the sweater.

“Pleeeaassee,” Alex moans, looking at her with big eyes.

“Please what?”

“Please can we meet Jack?”

She tries to say no, and almost succeeds.

“Ugggh. I already said you could. But I suppose I’ll invite him over on Friday for dinner?”

“Yes!” Alex cheers, fist pounding the air.

Katie claps and Louis grins.

“Why are you guys all so excited?” Kate asks, baffled.

“Because we are,” Louis replies shortly. “You talk about him a lot more than you’d think.”

“Oh.”

She decides it’s probably time to get dressed, and stands up, heading down to her room but also sort of Ashton’s room, too.

“No, guys, okay, I am not singing about high heels. I’ll say something else, like drums. Calum, shut up, you’d do this for Danielle Peazer and you know it.”

“Sorry bro, I’m just saying.”

Kate smiles to herself and knocks on the door.

There’s a frantic rustling of papers and then Ashton flings open the door. “Hey! Come on in!”

She looks at him funny and heads in.

Calum and Luke are tickling each other on the bed and Michael is just sort of sitting there sinisterly and Ashton is staring at her with a goofy smile on his face.

“What are you guys up to?” She asks suspiciously.

“Nothing!” They all chorus together.

She laughs. “Well okay. But I need to get dressed so…”

“I can just stay right here,” Calum giggles cheekily.

“Oh no you won’t,” Ashton informs him stonily.

“I was just kidding mate, chill out. You two have your fun.”

Kate closes the door and smiles to herself before going through her drawers.

“What’re you looking for?” He asks, collapsing back on the bed.

“My uniform.”

As she’s getting dressed, Ashton starts running his fingers through his hair. “Does it look suitable?”

She glances up from attempting to tie her apron. “Yeah it does.”

A little too good, in her opinion, since all he did was run his hands through it. “Hey, can you help me tie this?”

“Sure.”

He leaps up and ties it in a bow.

“You should wear your glasses today,” she tells him.

He sighs painstakingly. “I guess. They’re in the bathroom.”

She nods.

He sighs again and disappears into the bathroom while she brushes her hair.

“Alright, so don’t judge me too hard but here I am.”

She turns, and Ashton is standing there in black framed glasses and yep, he’s never, ever taking those off, they’re almost as good as a lip piercing.

“Those are never coming off of you again.”

“Do you really want me to get tortured that much?”

She shakes her head at him. “They look great, Ash.”

He brightens. “Really?”

“Yeah. “

“Alright then… so are you ready to go?”

She nods.

They open the door and Luke, Michael and Calum are gone. Alex is doing something on his phone and Katie and Louis are back to snoozing on each other’s shoulders.

“You two heading out?” Alex asks quietly.

She nods. “Yep, work.”

They’re gazes catch for a minute.

“Bye,” she mutters softly.

“Bye,” Alex says back.

The streets are cool and it feels like it’s about to rain.

Ashton takes her hand and she leans into him a bit. There are ominous clouds in the distance.

“So, do you actually think Calum and Danielle Peazer are soul mates?”

He shrugs. “Eh, it’s possible. I don’t see why not. I mean… Luke’s turned out to be Perrie, from Little Mix, yeah?”

“Well, yeah, but when they realized they were soul mates she wasn’t in Little Mix yet.”

“Oh, that’s right. You two used to date. How was that?”

Her gaze darkens. “It was…. Good while it lasted.”

Ashton realizes there’s a bit of a story behind this, and he also realizes Kate doesn’t want to talk about it, either.

“Okay. Well…. Hey, the group’s gonna meet Jack!”

She shrugs. “Mm.”

He tries to think of something to make her smile, because he doesn’t like seeing her sad. “And Sky Scope!”

Her face clears. “Oh yeah, I can’t wait!”

Relieved that she doesn’t have the haunted look on her face anymore (Ashton knows that look, and he never ever wants to see it on her, no) he squeezes her hand.

They arrive in the coffee shop and the other girl on the shift that neither of them have really talked to her (her name is Eleanor, apparently) is just leaving.

Kate and Eleanor nod to each other and of course, Jack is already sitting there, looking strangely formal.

As soon as he sees them, he sprawls out across a table and looks relieved.

“Thank god. That Eleanor person is really nice and everything but like she kept being all, ‘Do you want a mocha’ and I was like, ‘no I don’t I’m just waiting for my friends.’ And then she got really chatty. Like, the kind of chatty that won’t shut up. She kept going on about how her friend was coming back and how she had been touring around with her boyfriend, who apparently is in a band, but also isn’t really her boyfriend because said boyfriend is gay. And oh god, Kate, it hurt my ears!”

“Wow,” she says, smiling a bit. “That must’ve really sucked.”

He closes his eyes and smiles. “You said something… and didn’t mention fake relationships. Oh god, I love you.”

Jack leaps forward and hugs her too tightly and Ashton just sort of stands there and laughs at them.

“I’m getting crushed too many times, guys,” Kate says, voice muffled.

Jack draws back. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Hey, I gotta ask you something.”

“Ask away!”

“Would you like to come over for dinner Friday night?”

His eyes widen. “What.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What?” Ashton adds.

“I get to meet your friends, for once? Am I allowed to bring Zack and Rian? Is this like a party? Is Zack and Rian allowed to bring their soul mates? Ooo, are we going to break-the-ice games? Because I have a lot of really good ones.”

“Sur, bring your friends and your friends’ soul mates,” Kate laughs.

“Awesome. I mean, Zack actually doesn’t have a soul mate yet? But Rian does. And I guess Rachel is sort of my friend, too, so you know.”

Something lingers in the back of her mind. Rian and Rachel.

But it can’t be the same ones, there are tons of people named Rian and Rachel. It can’t be the same.

“Yay!” Jack exclaims, doing a little dance.

Ashton, who’s been quiet this entire time, speaks up. “If this is like a party, Luke’s gonna want to bring Perrie.”

“Doesn’t Perrie already like, live with us?”

He laughs. “Not quite.”

“Who’s Perrie? Who’s Luke? Who’s all of these people?” Jack asks rapidly.

“Okay… So Luke, Ashton, Michael and Calum are all in a band together. Perrie is Luke’s soul mate. Louis, Katie and Alex are my best friends.”

Jack nods slowly. “That’s chill. I’ve always liked the name Alex.”

“It’s funny, because Alex has always liked the name Jack.”

“Huh.”

And it still doesn’t click.

“You know what we should do,” Jack begins. “We should play Truth Or Dare.”

“Um,” Kate says exasperatedly. “I kind of have to work?”

Jack gets up and flips the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed.’

“Jack! You can’t do that!”

“I just did.”

“You should relax, Kitty,” Ashton tells her.

“Kitty?”

He turns bright pink. “I don’t know… um… I just thought it was cute?”

Kate beams at him. “Well… I guess I could take a break for a little.”

“Yay!” Jack exclaims. “Okay… Ashton, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How many times have you wished someone who wasn’t your soul mate, was?”

“Only once, Jaz,” Ashton shrugs. “Kate, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How many times have you wished that?”

“Two. With Luke and with Rachel.”

Jack gets a bit of a weird look on his face and stares at Kate calculatingly.

“Truth or dare, Jack?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to… call the sixth number on your contact list and tell them you’ve found your soul mate and it’s Liam Payne and you guys have already had sex three and a half times.”

“How do you even have sex three and a half times?” Ashton asks in confusion.

“Shh,” Kate shushes.

Jack glowers at her and unlocks his phone. “Fuck, it’s my aunt. It’s sad because she’ll believe me to!”

Kate just smirks.

He sighs and hits the call button.

“Hey, Aunt Marion… no, not much… nah… I just wanted to tell you I’ve found my soul mate!”

Ashton and Kate giggle to each other.

“Yeah, I know… it’s Liam Payne, and we’ve already had sex three and a half times!”

Jack promptly hangs up.

Ashton and Kate give up trying to be quiet and start giggling loudly.

“I hate you,” Jack grumbles. “She’s gonna ring my mom and my mom going to lecture me and oh god, why?”

“Oops?” Kate says, laughing and leaning into Ashton.

He scowls. “Truth or dare, Ashton?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss Kate.” He says it suggestively enough that it sounds incredibly dirty.

Ashton just smiles and kisses her.

Jack makes several whooping noises. “Heheh.”

They break apart, blushing and Jack just smirks.

“Truth or dare?” Ashton asks her softly.

“Truth.”

“Chicken,” Jack says loudly.

They roll their eyes.

“Were you ever in love with Alex?”

Her mouth opens, and closes, and then the doors opens.

“Yo?”

Jack shoots up. “Dude! Bro! It’s Zack!”

The guy- Zack- and Jack start an endlessly complicated bro hand shake and say a bunch of things like ‘my homie’ while Ashton and Kate just sort of meld into the background.

“I was in love with Alex,” Kate tells him quietly.

Ashton tries extremely hard not to be bothered by this.

“But,” she continues. “Even if I do sort of regret not trying to make it work, maybe it’s best if it didn’t. of course, I’ll always, always wonder. But  in the long run, neither of us needed more heartbreak, y’know?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

She sighs.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Why are you so afraid to tell me about the day you thought you wouldn’t live to remember?”

Her face pales. “Um… well… it’s… hard. And I guess… I should tell you.”

“Now?”

Jack is still practically weeping over him and Zack’s reunion.

“Yeah, okay,” she agrees.

They open the storage door and there’s giant sacks of coffee beans and things, and an old over stuffed couch that they sit on.

“Well,” Kate begins. “Um. You see. I kind of.”

He waits.

“I kind of… like... didn’t really like myself. After Luke left me for Perrie. I mean, I knew why he did it but still.”

Ashton takes her hand.

“To be honest, I more than disliked myself.  I hate myself and everything I did. I was so… tired. Pointless. Worthless. Sad. Frustrated, numb, desperate. And that’s when the cutting started.”

She ignores his intake of breath.

“I didn’t want it to get bad. But it did. Because I sort of got addicted. I liked it, the pain. It took my mind off everything else.”

He looks like he wants to say something, but she shakes her head.

“That’s when Alex came in. I don’t think he realizes exactly what he did for me. Like… he saved me. He made me feel better. He like… put me back together again. So of course I loved him. How could I not? We were this sort of thing where we weren’t a thing… but we could have been. You know? Like… we loved each other but we never did anything about it. Of course, Katie was all distracted by her boyfriend at the time, Nathan. But yeah.

“I got better. But there was a night, when I cut too deep. The bleeding didn’t stop. It scared me so bad, and I sat with a towel on it for hours, but I was getting dizzy and for a while, I honestly thought I could have died.”

So she’s pretty sure Ashton is crying.

“Okay,” he begins, voice shaky. “I just want to say… I’m really fucking sorry you had to go through that. I wish you didn’t. I wish I had found you sooner, so I could save you. I wish I could erase every bad thought you’ve had about yourself. Because you’re beautiful, alright? You’re so beautiful.”

I’m not, she wants to say but doesn’t.

Except she’s pretty sure Ashton realizes.

“And don’t think you aren’t, because you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, and ever since I met you I wanted you to be my soul mate. I felt like I could spend forever with you. You’re perfect to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

He takes a deep breath. “I know how you feel because I was the same.”

And she swears, the only thought running through her head is ‘please no, not him, anyone but him, please’

“It was before Jasmine, and after her too, I suppose. Not because of her. I was just… so sad. Numb. Frustrated. All the things you just said. I hate myself, so much. I felt like everything I did was wrong. Like I could never be good enough, no matter how hard I tried.

“I cut to get rid of that.”

And you can say ‘I love you’ twice, once before and say it in passing and once when you really look at someone and say it with such a heavy feeling and know it’s true.

“I love you,” Ashton says, and it’s the first time he’s meant it with everything in him and looks at her with a sort of adoration and intensity.

But she replies just the same. “I love you, too.”

“YO YO YO!”

They look up.

“Are you guys having sex back there? Are clothes on? Should I cover my eyes?”

Kate rolls her eyes. “No, we are not having sex Jack.”

“Yes we are!” Ashton calls at the same time.

She looks at him.

He winks and bangs his fist down on the cardboard.

“Oh, Ashton!” He calls in a ridiculously high voice that sounds absolutely unlike Kate at all.

“Ooo, smexy,” they hear Jack snort. “Alright, come on out then.”

Ashton helps her up and they head back out in to the store.

The guy, Zack, nods at them. “You guys are Kate and Ashton, right? The people Jack keeps talking about endlessly?”

“Aw, Jack,” Ashton cries, poking his arm. “I didn’t know you loved us that much!”

Jack blushes. “I don’t.”

“He does,” Zack whispers.

“Shut up! I do not. I don’t.”

“Oh don’t even. I swear you spend every single hour you spend with me and Rian blabbering about your ‘coffee shop friends’.”

Kate grins and slings an arm around him. “Awww.”

Jack shoves her arm off her and pouts. “Shut up.”

Ashton just smirks. “It’s alright. I talk about you all the time.”

“Mhm,” Kate agrees. “It’s true.”

Jack’s expression clears. “You do?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

He looks relieved. “Okay then. I guess I do talk about you guys a lot.”

“Doesn’t stop,” Zack mutters.

“Yo, Zack,” Jack turns. “D’you wanna come over for dinner at their house on Friday?”

“Flat,” Kate corrects.

“Sure,” Zack nods. “Why not.”

“It’s gonna be a party,” Ashton grins. “Me and you, and Calum and Luke and Alex and Louis and Katie and Niall and Jack and Zack.”

“And Rian and Rachel,” Jack adds.

(not the same, not the same)

“Yeah, and them,” Ashton nods.

“You’ll like them. They’re totally bad ass. Like, Rach is this chill punk girl and Rian is just kinda like… there. I don’t even know what Rian is. He’s Rian. And a bit weird. But whatever, he’s my bro. And him and Rachel are totally soul mates, like you can legit see the soul mate aura wafting off them.”

“Kinda like you two,” Zack nods. “It’s a bit sickening.”

Ashton and Kate both flush and look away from each other and Zack just sort of smirks.

*

“I hate myself.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Ashton tells her softly. “You didn’t mean to mess it all up.”

“Yeah but, this was supposed to be dinner for everyone meeting Jack and Zack and their friends and now it’s all nasty and burned and charred.”

“We can order pizza,” he tells her. “Everyone loves pizza.”

“It’s true,” Louis pipes up.

“Yeah,” Alex comes into the kitchen. “It’s not your fault, Kat. Don’t sweat it.”

“But this was gonna be perfect and now it’s ruined.”

“I don’t mind,” Niall shouts. “Pizza’s good!”

“Honestly, do you think Jack will mind?” Ashton asks.

“Will he?” Kate asks anxiously.

“No, I don’t think he will. You know Jack. He won’t care.”

“But…”

“Seriously,” Ashton tells her, kissing her forehead. “We’ll just order pizza. It’ll be fine.”

She bites her lip and relents. “Alright…”

“Now go get dressed.”

*

Forty five minutes later, they’ve ordered the pizza and Kate is pretending to not be worried about her coffee shop friend and her friends getting along.

Luke is on the sofa, and Perrie is curled into him. Louis and Katie are bowed over something on Louis’ phone and giggling sinisterly, Michael is staring at Katie with a weird look on his face (Kate’s pretty sure it’s a strange mix of adoration, confusion, dislike, and horror) Alex is staring off into the distance and Calum is entertaining himself by poking Alex over and over again.

Ashton and her are leaning against the counter and she’s sort of halfway in his embrace.

Someone knocks on the door.

Kate starts having a mini breakdown and staring up at Ashton with big eyes.

He smiles at her. “Calm down. They’ll love each other.”

She takes a deep breath and moves to open the door.

But it’s not Jack who’s out there.

It’s Rian.

And it’s Rachel.

Her stomach drops down to her toes and her mouth falls open and her heart does a weird jerk and she’s remembering the hot concrete and the cool water and the taste of sunshine and cigarettes, and cold Saturday nights with lots of kissing and she’s remembering Slushies at 7-11 and pale skin and the way Rachel used to smile at her and oh.

“Kate?”

She snaps out of it, looking away from her old girlfriend’s blue gray eyes and into Ashton’s green hazel ones.

But she doesn’t need Ashton right then, because as much as she loves him, he doesn’t know.

“I’m here,” Alex tells her and she hugs him, closing her eyes and wishing he could just take them both away, take Rachel and Rian far, far away, or at least let them go back in time and be with them, but this, this hurts too much.

She’s breathing a little too hard and panicking and it feels like all the old emotions are re-surfacing and she clutches at Alex’s shirt, ignoring as Ashton welcomes Rachel and Rian inside.

But it’s Rachel.

Rian, Kate, Rachel and Alex are all sitting on the bridge that stretches over the river and it’s hot, really hot, and mid June and Rachel and Kate are less hot in their tank tops and jeans but still hot, and Rian and Alex are in jeans and t-shirts. Their slushies are melting beside them and it’s really really hot.

“We should jump off the bridge,” Rian proposes.

“Okay,” Rachel agrees.

Kate and Alex are a bit more cautious because they aren’t as adventurous as them.

But then Kate decides it’s hot out and river looks cool and the concrete is burning to the touch, so she stands up and Rachel grins.

They take off their tank tops and climb over the railing.

“It’s really fun,” Rachel reassures her. “It’s scary at first but it gets better. I’ll jump off with you.”

So Kate takes her hand and Rachel jumps.

The free fall in short but long and she screams before shooting into the cool water.

Her head breaks the surface, laughing insanely and swims to the shore.

Rachel helps her up and kisses her and they’re both wet but they don’t care.

“That was so fun,” Kate exclaims when they get back on the bridge.

Alex looks terrified but Rian grabs his hand and jumps and doesn’t let go.

“Wanna do it again?” Rachel asks.

Kate nods excitedly they clamber back over the rail and stand on the edge.

Rachel takes her hand, and they take a deep breath before jumping over the side.

Kissing underwater is really wet but it’s also really, really nice.

“You’ve got to listen,” Alex whispers to her.

She stops remembering.

“You have Ashton now, Kate. She won’t hurt you anymore. You’re better now. You’re here, in London, and we have an apartment together and you finally found your soul mate. You’re okay.”

She takes a shuddery breath. “Okay.”

So he draws back and wonders if she’s really okay. Because well, he loved Rian but not the same way Kate loved Rachel. He understood that they couldn’t be together, and maybe Kate got that too but she didn’t quite understand, so she was a thousand times more hurt by them leaving than he was.

He hugs her one last time and they look at each other as Rachel and Rian’s hauntingly familiar laughter rings through the flat.

“Are you okay?” She asks him.

“I’m okay,” he nods.

Rachel still looks almost the same as she did when they were dating. Dark hair and blue-gray eyes and pale skin. She’s still pretty, but her hand is entwined with Rian’s, and Kate reaches for Ashton, because while Alex understands, Ashton is heat and warmth and comfort.

He pulls her next to him and she closes her eyes as he entwines their hands.

“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” Rachel says to her.

She nods. “Yeah.”

“How have you been?”

Kate shrugs. “Good.”

Rachel’s eyes flicker to Ashton. “You found them?”

And then a smile breaks out across Kate’s face because yes, she did find him. And personally, she wouldn’t want it to be anyone else. “Yes, I have.”

Rachel smiles and Kate decides that maybe, just maybe, they can be friends.

“Jack will be here soon,” she says, smiling. “He was running late.”

Kate snorts. “When is Jack not running late?”

“Point,” Rachel nods.

Alex and Rian are sort of awkwardly making small talk when the door rings.

“That’s probably  him.”

Ashton grins at her, dimples flickering and they get up to get it.

It’s Jack.

“Wow, I like your flat. Even though I’ve only seen the outside of it. Still. It’s pretty great.  Can I like, live here with you?”

“Come on in,” Kate just says.

He bounds inside and flings his coat aside. “So where are all your crazy friends?”

“In the living room, along with Rian and Rachel.”

“Oh yeah, do you like them?”

Kate falters. “Um, yeah.”

Jack doesn’t notice and suddenly hangs back. “Um… do you wanna go first?”

She smiles at him. “Aww, are you shy?”

“First time for everything,” Ashton mutters.

“No, I just…” Jack twists the sleeve of his shirt.

Kate takes pity on him and leads the way.

“So guys, this is Jack.”

Everyone looks up.

“Hi,” Jack waves nervously.

“Jack, this is Niall, Katie, Louis, Luke, Perrie, Calum and somewhere is Alex.”

“Coffee shop friend,” Louis observes, shamelessly checking him out.

“Alex went to the bathroom,” Katie supplies.

“You would know,” Michael says.

There’s an awkward moment where Katie glares at him and he smirks and everyone else just sort of wonders what he meant.

“Anyways…”

“It’s great to meet you guys,” Jack begins. “Like, I’m just at this coffee shop and friendless except for Rian over here and Zack, which where is Zack? Whatever. And Kate’s obviously got like fifty trillion friends and Ashton, who, by the way, she had sex with in the storage room last night.”

Ashton snorts and Kate just rolls her eyes and fights back off a grin.

“Wait, what?” Louis demands. “What?”

“Nothing,” Jack says innocently. “Nothing at all.”

“I swear to god, Kate, if you end up pregnant I’m moving out. That’s it, nope, I’m not living here.”

“I’m not pregnant,” she laughs. “Don’t worry.”

“Good. I mean you’re only… however old you are.”

“Nineteen.”

“Whatever.”

So they all sit down, and she’s really relieved because Jack gets along seamlessly with everyone. Which isn’t that surprising, really, because Jack is one of those people who you could probably drop off in the middle of an ally and he’d end up with friends. He’s just that way.

The door rings.

“I’ve got it!” Alex shouts from the kitchen, where he’s apparently been hiding out.

“Alright.”

Then Alex comes in with pizza boxes, and puts them on the table and his gaze meets Jack’s.

And wow, Kate’s coffee shop friend had really pretty eyes.

He sits back down and tries not to stare, but Kate’s coffee shop friend is just all around attractive, but it’s a different sort of attractive than you kind you see on the street. For some reason, he just appeals to Alex.

“Sometimes I’m vegan and sometimes I’m like ‘omg meat’. It kinda changes every day. You just can’t explain it. But today I think I’m for the meat? Hmm… yeah, definitely the meat. And by the way, you aren’t vegetarian are you Kate? Are any of you?”

“I am,” Perrie volunteers.

But Alex isn’t really paying attention to that, he’s more focused on Kate’s coffee shop friend (Jack) and trying not to get lost in his voice, because he has the kind of voice Alex could get really easily lost in. it’s a bit ridiculous, how easily he could get lost in his voice. But it’s whatever.

(and also, Kate’s coffee shop friend takes his mind off Rian).

There’s a lull in the conversation and Jack turns to Alex.

“So you’re Alex, right? Kate’s best friend? She talks about you a lot. You guys used to kinda be a thing, right? Because that’s how she acts. Maybe I’m wrong, I dunno. But yeah. I’ve heard a lot about you. You’re also kinda quiet, aren’t you?”

And he’s a bit shocked words can come out of someone’s mouth so fast, but it’s also completely charming and cute and sort of makes Alex wants to hug him and cuddle him and just sort of marry him.

“I suppose,” Alex shrugs. “And we weren’t a thing… really.”

Jack’s eyes widen and he looks at Alex differently and he shifts, wondering if he did something wrong.

“You have a really pretty voice. Sort of rough but kind of smooth at the same time, and it has this nice timbre, yeah? And like, it’s just really nice. I bet you’re a really good singer.”

And Alex blushes and nods. “I’m a singer, yeah. Well , I want to be. But I don’t think I am, quite yet. Do you play anything?”

“Eh,” Jack shrugs. “Here and there. But I’d love to see you sing sometime, I bet you’re amazing.”

“Not really, Louis and Niall are far better. And oh god, Luke and Perrie when they harmonize? It’s crazy how good they are.”

“Perrie and Luke are the blonde couple, right?”

“Yeah. Just wait, my god, it’s unfair how talented they are.”

And then Jack winks at him. “I bet we’d be pretty good, too.”

Alex is pretty sure his face is bright red. “Um… yeah, I bet we would…”

There’s a kind of awkward silence, but it’s alright, because ‘awkward silence’ has never felt more comfortable. And Jack makes this warm feeling in his chest, like he belongs. And he’s already sort of loving Jack’s rambling, and he decides he could listen to it forever. And ever.

And he doesn’t really like being complimented but right now, with Jack, it’s a bit better.

“Do you like Taylor Swift?” Jack asks.

Alex wrinkles his nose. “No, god no. Of course not.”

Jack nods enthusiastically. “I know! Like… ew. I mean, though I kind of like ‘The Moment I Knew’.”

“Well who doesn’t? ‘Red’ is pretty good too.”

“Yeah, her whole ‘Red’ album is good. But still.”

“Yeah, I mean, no. Taylor Swift is absolutely horrible and I hate her.”

“Have you ever seen her in concert?”

“Three times.”

And then they sort of laugh, because they both know they kind of love Taylor Swift.

But whatever.

And Alex likes this feeling, he likes this feeling a lot.

They’re quiet for a moment, and Alex realizes Jack is watching Kate and Ashton. Ashton is sort of curled protectively around Kate on the chair, and she’s curled into him, and he’s whispering into her ear and she’s giggling, and they’re pretty fucking adorable together.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Jack says thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, and smiles. It’s not really because they’re cute (they are but that’s not the main reason) but Kate is finally happy.

Perrie’s fallen asleep on Luke’s shoulder, and Luke and Calum are chatting about video games. Louis and Niall are saying stuff about guitars and Michael and Katie are both looking away from each other and trying to look like they hate each other, even though pretty much everyone can see the way they look at each other when they think no one is looking (and there’s not hate in that at all).

Rian and Rachel are joining in on Louis and Niall’s conversation, adding little quips and facts and everyone is pretty comfortable.

“You have a nice group of friends.”

“I’d like to think so,” Alex nods.

“You do. Like, all I have is Zack – who still hasn’t shown up, ugh, that boy- and Rian and Rachel. And to be frank? They aren’t that fun. Like seriously, the craziest we’ve gotten is going to Starbucks at like, three am. But your friends seem really chill.”

“They totally are. Oh man. Like, back when Rachel and Kate were dating-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jack interrupts. “Rachel and Kate dated?”

Alex nods. “Oh yeah. For like, months.” He doesn’t want to say anything else about it because it’s Kate’s secrets.

“Wow…”

“Yeah, so when back when they were a thing and me and Rian-“

“Dude what!?” Jack exclaims. “You guys too?”

“Mhm. We had this sort of constant double date. But it was nice. Anyways, we went bridge jumping and stuff. It was pretty fun. Lately, the only crazy thing we’ve done is go on an adventure in our flat building at like three am. That’s actually when Kate saw Ashton again and realized they were soul mates, behind a vending machine, apparently.”

“Aww,” Jack coos. “That’s cute.”

“I want to meet my soul mate,” Alex grumbles.

“So do I, man. Don’t worry it’ll happen soon, I know it. Just gotta give it time.”

Jack and Alex exchange awkward looks and for some reason there’s this tension he can’t explain and really really wishes he could.

But it’s kind of a nice awkward tension. The kind of awkward tension that makes Alex smile.

And he isn’t quite sure why.

“Oh man, I’m glad it’s pizza,” Jack begins. “Kate was all like ‘come over for dinner’ and to be honest who comes over for dinner anymore? So I thought it would be some fancy ordeal and I was kinda nervous, even though Rachel and Rian kept telling me it was chill. I was still nervous. But this is pretty nice, it’s a good time. I like this.”

And his rambling is really cute, Alex is definitely sure of that. He’s always been the quiet type and he likes to listen to him go off about things. It’s nice. Like, really nice.

But, then again, there have been other people who talk a lot but for some reason Jack is special.

And once again, he isn’t quite sure why.

*

“Looks like your lover boy is getting friendly with the new guy,” Michael mocks.

Katie rolls her eyes and ignores the way Jack and Alex are chatting away on the couch. It’s probably nothing anyways.

But of course, jealously is kind of a bad thing and she’s completely jealous of Jack right now and a little bit heartbroken.

But Michael can’t see that, of course.

“Whatever, emo,” she sighs in irritation.

“I’m not emo!” Michael protests.

“Okay Pinky.”

He glares at her and she just smirks.

Then Alex laughs at something Jack said and her gaze shifts over to them and she ducks her head, wishing Alex could just like her back.

Except that notion’s a bit terrifying, since she honestly isn’t sure what she’d do if he liked her back. The whole group’s dynamic would change.

Plus she feels like Kate might be mad at her. And of course her twin wouldn’t show it, she didn’t usually enjoy showing emotions that much, but Katie knows she’d be mad. Or, maybe not mad, but more like hurt and betrayed.

She imagines it’d be sort of like if Louis and Kate started dating, only far worse because she was never in love with Louis, and they don’t have the same reliant relationship Kate and Alex do.

So yeah, for right now, it’s a bit of a good thing Alex doesn’t like  her back, or if he does, hasn’t told her yet.

But she does kind of (read: a lot) wish he did.

“My god, your eyes have a sickening sparkle when you look at him,” Michael snorts. “It’s a bit pathetic.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, last time I checked we weren’t back in middle school. It’s like you’re the outcast and he’s the most popular guy.”

She’s about to retaliate since her high school experience wasn’t anything like that, but then it occurs to her that it might’ve been like that for Michael. That maybe he wasn’t that popular, that maybe he was like Kate and Alex, only alone and without anyone to lean on.

And that hurts a lot more than she would have thought.

So she just shrugs and lets it go this time.

*

Ashton and Kate are leaning against the back of the sofa.

No one can see them, but it’s nice, being there where they can be still part of things and be alone.

“So… d’you wanna come by my flat Sunday?” He asks.

“Ash, your flat is a legit four steps down the hall. But yes, sure, I’ll come to your flat.”

He beams at her and it’s so, so easy to make him happy, and she wants to keep being the reason for that smile, big and wide and almost too big for his face and full of happiness, genuine happiness.

Then he kisses her cheek and shoots her another dimply grin (is dimply a word? It should be, it’s sort of a necessary word to describe Ashton) and she can’t help but smile back. It’s infectious.

“I love you,” he tells her.

“I love you too,” she tells him, and kisses him.

His hair is ridiculously fluffy, and she tells him this as soon as they’re done kissing (kissing Ashton is one of her favorite things to do. His lips are pink and just a little bit chapped and he’s a really good kisser and yeah, she just really likes kissing Ashton).

“Your hair is really fluffy.”

He reaches up and pats it. “It is?”

“Yeah but it’s cute. It reminds me of a bunny.”

He frowns. “Are you supposed to be kissing bunnies?”

She snorts. “I don’t think of bunnies like that.”

“Good because I mean… that’s a bit weird, I was thinking, and yeah.”

“Bunnies just aren’t like… a… why are we even having this conversation? Just no.”

They both catch each other’s eyes and giggle.

“Oi, what are you two love birds doing back there?”

They look up as Calum rolls off the back of the sofa and into their laps.

“Ooomf,” Kate grunts as a hundred and fifty pounds of boy crushes her frame.

“Hey, you’re crushing my girlfriend,” Ashton pouts.

“Sorry, Kate,” Calum says a little sheepishly, rolling off of her.

“It’s fine,” she smiles at him and he shoots up back over the sofa and there’s a screech from Louis.

“I’m glad everyone is getting on well,” Kate says, yawning. She’s tired and kind of wants to sleep but people are over so that’s probably not the best idea.

Ashton tugs her down to lay on him and she thinks that might not be the best idea since she might fall asleep, but it’s whatever.

He wraps his arms around her waist and she’s really warm and once again, he’s sort of like the sun. He just doesn’t look like the sun, but she can feel the warmth rolling off him and the way his smile beams around the room like a ray of sunlight and the way his eyes light up. He’s just like the sun, her own personal sun.

So she falls asleep to his warmth and the sound of Jack and Alex talking and Katie and Luke’s laughter mixing together.

 


	5. end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry if you guys are getting notifications from this or something, i re-posted it with chapters to make it easier to read since some people have said they can't find their place and its hard for them or something......... you know who you are ..........
> 
> but anyways, yeah, i haven't added anything and i hope this makes it easier <3 ~

“And this is my lovely girlfriend!”

Kate groans and yanks the sheet over her head. She’s warm, and the outside is cold, and she really, really doesn’t want to get up right now.

“She’s not a morning person,” she hears Ashton chirp like a bird. It’s unfair, really, that some people are damn perky in the mornings.

“Kaaate! Say hello to the fans!”

Her eyes fly open because wait, they have fans? And why didn’t he tell her he was doing some sort of freaky movie thing?

She’s about to shoot up but thinks better of it, because personally she thinks she looks horrible in the mornings and she doesn’t want Ashton’s fans to remember her as ‘the ugly hideous person with a haystack for hair.’

“No movies,” she moans.

Ashton giggles adorably and sets something down. And then he leaps onto the bed next to her. “Good morning sweetheart!”

“Ummmf.”

“I made coffee!”

Kate forces herself to turn over. “I don’t care now let me sleep.”

Ashton pouts but she closes her eyes. She seriously can’t take Ashton’s pout right now.

She hears him sigh and then gets up off the bed.

“Well, fans, I’ll be back later. Looks like dearest Kate isn’t getting out of bed. Byyyee!”

She opens one eye and watches him kick off his shoes and then crawl underneath the blankets.

“Let’s make like laundry detergent and Snuggle,” he says cheekily.

She whacks him weakly since she can’t really make herself move. “No never say that again.”

He responds by wrapping his arms around her waist and rubbing his nose all over her hair.

“What are you even doing?”

“Smelling your hair.”

“You’re a queer one, Irwin.”

He giggles again and she smiles into the pillow, because his giggle is so adorable and innocent and just, ugh, she’s so gone for him.

*

“When do you think we’ll see Jack again?” Alex asks.

Louis rolls his eyes. “You’ll have to wait till Ashton and Kate get up, he’s their friend.”

Alex makes a strange keening sound. “I don’t want to waaait.”

“Too bad.”

Katie and Luke trail into the room.

“So what did you guys think of them? Rachel, Rian and Jack, I mean,” Luke asks.

“They’re cool,” Louis nods. “I mean… I don’t know the history between Alex and Kate and Rian and Rachel but you know.”

Alex’s face darkens. “It’s not bad history, really. Well, it kind of is… the end was…”

And his eyes look a little too haunted so they quickly change the subject.

“I liked Jack,” Luke pipes up.

Alex’s eyes change from cloudy to all clear and sparkly. “I liked Jack, too.”

“Maybe a little bit too much,” Louis snorts.  

Katie shifts and doesn’t let any hurt show.

Alex blushes. “No…”

“Yes,” Luke teases. “I saw you guys hitting it off on the couch.”

Alex turns an even darker red. “He was just.. nice.”

“Nice in a I-want-to-marry-him-and-have-his-gaybies way?”

Louis starts cackling. “Luke, what?”

Katie gets up abruptly and disappears.

“What’s up with her?” Luke asks.

Louis is quiet and decides that maybe he should let up on the whole Jack and Alex thing, since  Katie does like Alex, he kind of forgot.

But wow, poor Katie.  This must kind of suck.

*

Calum is trying to not act excited that Sky Scope is coming to town.

He’s not excited because of the band but mostly because of certain band member’s girlfriend, a certain Danielle Peazer.

He’s just, absolutely certain she’s his soul mate.

It’s a bit aggravating, since he bets she has thousands of boys and girls trying to tell her she’s their soul mate, and she probably doesn’t even care enough to check anymore.

It’s because of this that Calum decides that the only way to convince her is to date her first.

Which is maybe a bit dreamy and such, but he’s Calum Hood and godammit, if he wants to date Danielle Peazer he’ll date Danielle Peazer.

“Yo, Cal, what’s up?”

He looks up as Luke’s voice fills the room.

“Not much bro, just chillin’.”

Luke frowns, since Calum looks like he’s thinking really hard. “Whatcha thinking about?”

He starts. “Uhm, nothing. Nothing at all.”

Luke raises an eyebrow. “Alright?”

“How are you and Perrie?” The question is a bit abrupt.

“Um, good. Really good. Perrie is fantastic.”

There are a lot more adjectives in Luke’s brain to go along with that, but he refrains, knowing Calum wouldn’t appreciate them.

“Hmm,” Calum grunts.

They’re interrupted as Ashton stumbles into the room, giggling. “Hey boys, what’s up?”

Luke and Calum exchange a glance. “Um, not much Ash. How about you?”

He giggles again. “Nothing.”

It’s a bit strange. Of course, it’s easy to say Ashton is the most giggly happy member of the band, but it seems to have increased about ten fold since he met Kate.

They’re not quite sure how they feel about it.

“How are you and Kate?” Calum asks moodily.

Another happy giggle escapes, and Calum sort of want to groan because Ashton is like a fucking sunbeam, and he’s seriously not mentally prepared enough for such happiness and general joy.

It’s so not fair.

“Amazing!” Ashton begins. “Kate is like the legit best. She’s just so adorable. Like she does this thing when she smiles and it’s hard to explain, but it’s really cute. You’ll see.”

Luke is a bit more tolerant of Ashton’s gushing because he can remember when Ashton put up with him and Perrie.

Of course, when Michael slams the door dramatically open the gushing is stopped.

“What!? You guys had a bonding session without me? Thanks guys.”

Ashton looks like he legitimately feels guilty. His eyes get big and his bottom lip trembles just a little and it’s completely heartbreaking and exasperating.

“I’m sorry man, I was joking,” even Michael can’t make Ashton feel bad. It’s sort of physically impossible. And they’ve tried.

“So how are you and Katie?” Luke asks casually, fixing his hair in the screen of his phone.

Michael chokes on his own spit. “What!?”

“Well, aren’t you and Katie, like, at least having some weird Fifty Shades of Grey thing?”

“No! God, no!”

They all exchange confused glances.

“You…. Aren’t?” Calum asks.

“No, why would you think that?” Michael mutters angrily, kicking at the carpet.

“Um, maybe because there’s layers and layers of sexual tension?” Calum suggest crudely.

Ashton blushes but nods in agreement and Luke sends Michael a knowing look.

“Haha,” Michael coughs dryly. “Well, that’s hilarious. But no, I don’t like her. I hate her so much, I mean I swear. She’s such a child and kind of a bitch and I swear to god if Ashton hadn’t had her twin as his Marshmallow Matey then I would be outta here.”

They just kind of roll their eyes in sync and Michael pretends not to notice.

“So what’s up with you and Kate?” The pink haired band member asks, flopping down.

Calum internally groans.

Ashton grins (once again, why is he so freaking happy all the time?). “Great stuff! She’s completely amazing Mikey, oh man. Have you ever talked to her? She’s just like… so funny and interesting and like at four am we have these kind of great conversations and she makes me laugh and oh god, it’s great.”

“Fucking whipped,” Michael mutters.

“Word,” Calum agrees.

Luke just catches Ashton’s gaze, they don’t understand, they don’t have their soul mates.

(Oddly, though, Michael wanted to mention how when Katie smiled too big she had the habit of covering her face with her sleeve, and every time she did, he felt the urge to take her hand because honestly, the world could do with a smile like hers).

*

“So what did you think of my friends?”

Jack looks up at her from underneath his emo hair (“It’s not emo, okay, it’s fringe alright?”) and smiles. “I hated them.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Haha just kidding, they were great.” He blushes a little while saying this, and she grins at him.

“Especially Alex, yeah?”

He turns pink. “No!”

“Yeees,” she teases him. “You guys would be so cute together, argh. I ship it.”

“’I ship it,’” Jack mimics. She ignores him.

“You guys would be Jalex. Awww.”

“Jakex?” Jack mutters. “Not sure how I feel right now.”

“Happy. You should definitely be happy.”

“Should I? Should I really?”

“Yes.”

He rolls his eyes. “Alright then. Ship us all you want.”

“You want it to happen. You like Alex.”

“Noooo.”

“Admit it!”

“I won’t!”

She grins at him, and for a moment, Jack is a little taken aback, because while he loves to laugh, and make jokes, he can still remember clearly why he decided to make this girl his friend, can clearly remember the way her green eyes were dull and her face was haunted and she looked tired, so tired, and he decided then and there that someday, she’d be happy and he’d stick around to see it.

Now, she’s grinning at him and her face is full of life and her green eyes are vibrant and her tongue is in her cheek and she looks happy, and maybe Ashton is to thank for this, but whatever the reason, Jack is grateful.

“Fine, I do like Alex.”

She cheers. “I knew it! I kneeeeww ittt!”

He rolls his eyes at her again. “Whatever.”

“He likes you too, you know.”

He perks up. “He does?”

“Mmhm. I can just tell. I mean I am his best friend.”

There’s a little slip in her words like they might be a lie, or something, but Jack ignores it and decides she’ll tell him later.

“Can I come over tomorrow?” Jack asks hopefully.

“Sure, why not. But on Saturday I think we’re going to the Sky Scope concert.”

He snorts. “Of course you are.”

“Heeeyy, don’t hate on Sky Scope. I love them.”

“Of course you do.”

“I do!”

“Are you all going to see them?”

“Well, originally, it was only going to be me, Katie and Louis, but I made Ashton agree, and somehow Michael’s going now. And Calum has some weird thing going on so he’s going. And of course, Perrie is like, friends with them or something and she’s making Luke go with her. And I think Alex and Niall are just going because everyone else is going.”

“How much are tickets?”

She tells him and he groans. “Alright… well…maybe I’ll go.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… ugh the things I do for friendship.”

She beams at him. “Oh, it can be like a double date! We just need someone for Niall….”

They think for a moment.

“Eh, I’ll figure it out later.”

“So… why do you even like Sky Scope so much?”

Kate takes a deep breath. “It’s kind of a long explanation, and at the same time I can’t explain.”

“Umm… you don’t have to.”

She looks a bit relieved. “Good. Okay. I didn’t really want to creep you out.”

He laughs. “Okay. That makes sense? I guess. I mean I’ve never been really in love with a band. Or any of that stuff. Well, there was that thing with Linkin Park… I don’t like to talk about those times. But yeah, besides that, I’ve never really gotten really into a band, like really into one like I know some people do. But I decided never to judge someone who’s really into a band because I know that some bands save people, and I can understand how they could do that, and really, who am I to judge the reason someone is still alive today?”

Kate just sort of stares at him and smiles. “I have so much respect for you man.”

He blushes. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

They’re interrupted as the door opens and a girl with wavy brown hair and hazel eyes (she’s pretty) comes in.

Kate recognizes her as the girl who sometimes works before her. Eleanor?

“Oh, hi,” she smiles shyly. “I was just coming by to get some coffee. Which is a bit weird, to get coffee from the place you work, but whatever.”

Kate smiles at her, she seems nice. “No, no, I know what you mean. They actually have good coffee here!”

Eleanor laughs. “I know, I’m surprised too!”

“You guys should just take my advice,” Jack adds in pompously. “I spend like half my life drinking this, I would know.”

“You only drink it so you won’t be accused of loitering,” Kate points out.”

“You do know that we’re the only ones who really work here and can kick you out, right?” Eleanor asks. “Which we wouldn’t do if you’re our friend…”

Kate nods in agreement.

Jack huffs. “Shut up.”

They both giggle.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you,” Eleanor smiles. “I’ve always been trying to get up the courage to actually talk to you but I never have. Anyways, quick question: do you like Sky Scope?”

Kate nods frantically. “Do I like Sky Scope? Is that even a question?”

Jack snorts and Eleanor laughs. “I know how you feel. Well, the only friend I have who likes them is already a full VIP, so I have these three spare backstage passes and I honestly can’t use them. But, if you have someone who would…?”

Kate’s eyes widen and widen and she kind of just stares at Eleanor. “Are you even real?”

She blushes. “I think so…”

Kate practically hugs the life out of her. “Oh my god, thank you thank you thank you! Ahh! You don’t even know how awesome this is!”

“If you’re as big as a fan of Sky Scope as I am, I do,” Eleanor chuckles.

They both sort of fangirl and squeal for a minute and Jack rolls his eyes (he seems to be doing that a lot today).

“Who’s your favorite?” Eleanor asks.

“Liam, definitely Liam. Or possibly Josh.”

“Zayn or Harry for me, strangely, even though Ziam is real.”

Jack didn’t think it was even possible, but the squeals get louder.

“YOU SHIP ZIAM!?”

“OF COURSE I SHIP ZIAM!”

“AHHH! LET’S BE BEST FRIENDS!”

He almost wants to cover his ears.

“Oh man, this is going to be the best,” Kate exclaims joyfully.

Eleanor nods. “It totally is. My best friend Danielle is going to be there, you can meet her too. She’s really cool.”

“Okay,” Kate agrees, wondering to herself why she didn’t realize there was a Scoper working with her before. Life could have been so much better.

The door chimes open and Ashton pushes his way in.

“Kate?”

His hair is a bit damp from outside and he grins at her. “I decided to come down and see you. What’s up?”

Eleanor draws back to sit by Jack and smirks. “Soul mates?”

He nods. “So soul mates, it’s a little sickening.”

“Do you have yours or are you Searching?”

“Searching.”

“Tattoos?”

It’s a bit of a procedure, to make sure you aren’t  soul mates when you meet someone.

“Sadly, mostly food related things,” Eleanor shrugs. “I guess my soul mate is someone who eats a lot.”

“Don’t think we’re soul mates then,” Jack laughs.

“Nope, probably not.”

They watch as Kate and Ashton do some sort of strange dance together, but giggling happily and Ashton stooping to kiss her nose every now and then.

“Looks nice, doesn’t it?” Eleanor asks.

“Yeah, it does…” Jack sighs.

She glances at him, smiling sympathetically. “Don’t worry, it’ll happen soon enough.”

“Will it really.”

“Well, yeah, unless your soul mate is dead, which they aren’t or you’d feel empty inside. Like there’s no point in living. Do you feel that right now?”

“No.”

“Well then. It’ll happen eventually.”

“You’re pretty chill, Eleanor.”

She blushes. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Soo… do you think your soul mate is a guy or a girl?”

She shrugs. “Personally, I think it’s a boy. But I don’t know, and I don’t really care. Whoever they are, I know I’ll love them. But I’ve had dreams.”

Jack catches his breath.

Sometimes, there are people who have dreams about who their soul mates are. It’s rare and Jack has never met someone like that. “You have dreams?”

She cracks a smile. “Why I think it’s a guy. He eats a lot. He had dark  brown hair, but he doesn’t like it, so he dyes it blond. He has a best friend who’s name starts with ‘C’. He has a voice like an angel. And I can’t wait to meet him.”

*

Niall is pacing around the living room.

“What’s up mate?” Calum asks from where he’s chilling out on the sofa.

“Nothing…. I just had another dream last night.”

“That’s cool. Do you like, not have dreams very often?”

Niall rolls his eyes. “No, it was one of those dreams.”

“What are ‘those’ dreams?”

“You know… the ones who clue me in on who my soul mate is.”

Calum’s eyes widen. “What? You have dreams?”

Niall nods. “Her name is Eleanor, and her hair is long and wavy. She likes coffee a lot. She wants a kind of romance like in the books, the kind where he takes you on picnics and kisses you in the rain. But most of all, she just wants to be happy. She bites her lip when she’s scared. And she likes to read, she reads a lot.”

“Wow, mate,” Calum says in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Niall shrugs. “I dunno, I didn’t think to?”

They’re interrupted as Kate and Ashton tumble through the door.

“GUESS WHAT!?” Kate screams.

“What?” Calum asks tiredly as Alex, Katie and Louis poke their heads out.

“I MET THIS GIRL AND SHE GAVE ME THREE BACKSTAGE PASSES TO SKY SCOPE!”

Katie and Louis immediately start freaking out, and they all have some sort of squeal battle and Alex just snorts and Calum tries to look like he doesn’t care (but he does. Only because of Danielle, but he still cares) and Ashton just watches Kate with a fond smile on his face.

Niall just grins happily at them. The boy always seems to feed off the atmosphere of those around him. When people are sad, he’s sad. When they’re happy, he’s happy, and in turn, making the people around him happier. Niall is a bit of an emotion current.

“We. Can. Meet. Them,” Katie enunciates each word. “Josh. Liam. Zayn. Harry.”

Louis lets loose a little whimper at Harry’s name. “Harry… Harry Styles… oh my god…”

Calum takes a deep breath. “Umm… I kind of want to go.”

Maybe some of the urgency he’s feeling conveys into his voice because they all just sort of stare at him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Katie says, raising her hands up. “There are three backstage passes and four of us.”

They all look at each other.

“We’ll figure this out later,” Kate dismisses. “But guys… Sky Scope!”

There’s a lot more freaking out, but everyone tolerates it because honestly, Kate, Niall and Louis didn’t say a word when Alex and Katie went to the Taylor Swift concert and just wait until Calum, Luke, Ashton or Michael went to a Mayday Parade concert. All hell would break loose.

Or, maybe, it could be because they kind of just like seeing each other happy.

*

“I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN!”

Katie rolls her eyes at Michael. “I hate that song.”

He smirks. “No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Nooope.”

“Yeeees.”

“Don’t, I already know you went and saw her in concert.”

“How does that mean I like her?”

He stares at her. “How can that not mean you like here? You spent like, a hundred dollars on tickets and everything and you ‘don’t like her’”

“Pssh, yeah,” Katie says,  crossing her arms and leaning back. “We hated every minute of it.”

“But I bet you liked it,” he mutters suggestively.

She blushes because she knows he’s insinuating Alex.

“Shut up and leave me alone.”

“Ooo, you’ve got a come back now!”

“Seriously, Michael, shut up.”

“Why? Are you afraid to admit you like Alex? Is it because your twin had that funky thing with him no one really knows about but at the same time we all do? Because honestly, you shouldn’t be so cowardly about it.”

Katie glares at him. “Why don’t you stop addressing her as ‘my twin’? She’s more than that, okay? She has a name. And I know why you do, anyways. Why don’t you not be such a coward about who you like and actually address her by name?”

His face goes white and she smirks at him.

“That’s right, I know.”

He just looks at her. “Please…”

“Wow, Michael, I can’t believe you. Liking your own band mate’s soul mate. I mean, who does that?”

He looks like he’s trying to glare at her, but he looks hopelessly guilty and she feels bad, but he’s been nothing but horrible about the whole Alex thing and honestly, it is a bit lame that he likes Kate.

You really aren’t supposed to covet someone else’s soul mate.

It just simply isn’t done.

Especially if they’re your best friend.

“Please don’t say anything,” he mutters, looking away.

“What was that?”

He glares at her, and suddenly he seems strangely tall and his eyes have darkened from murky blue green to a sort of steely grey. “Don’t say anything.”

And she’s a little afraid of him right then, but tries not to show it.

“Okay, fine. I won’t if you stop saying stuff about Alex.”

“Fine.”

They glare at each other one last time before stomping away.

*

It’s the night before the Sky Scope concert and it’s late, two am.

Luke and Perrie have gone to bed, and Zack, Rian, Rachel and Jack had left earlier, after a night of Jack and Alex whispering into each other’s ears all night and looking secretive.

Ashton and Kate were sprawled across the sofa, taking it all up, and Katie, Louis and Michael were all crammed into the love seat. Alex was leaning against the side of the couch, and Calum was sitting with his legs crossed.

“We should play Never Have I Ever,” he proposed.

Alex and Kate exchange a look, because frankly, they don’t like to give up secrets and this game usually leads to secrets, but it’s also kind of fun so they give in.

“Never have I ever found my soul mate,” Louis begins solemnly.

Ashton and Kate smile at each other and glance down at their matching moon and sun tattoos and then take a drink. It’s kind of magical, really.

Kate smirks to herself. “Never have I ever not had a soul mate past twenty.”

Louis and Alex glare at her, and then Ashton thinks. “Well… I met you right after I turned twenty… does that mean I take a drink?”

“I think so,” she shrugs.

So then Ashton takes a drink and they all take a moment to remember how old they are.

“Wait, Niall, how old are you?”

Niall looks a bit offended. “Twenty.”

Louis looks shocked.  “What!? Whaaat. I thought you were like, eighteen or something!”

“Am I really that crinkly?”

Alex, Louis and Ashton all make affronted sounds and he smirks at them.

Katie laughs. “Never have I ever had a girlfriend.”

Niall, Louis, Ashton, Kate, Calum and Michael took a drink.

“Wait, wait, wait, explain,” Niall exclaims, staring at Kate.

“What? I had a girlfriend. So what?”

“Rachel,” Alex adds quietly.

“Rachel,” Kate agrees.

There’s a lot more of a story behind it, but no one says anything. Maybe because they’re too afraid to ask or maybe because they all know it’s a secret between Alex and Kate, though it was never intended as one.

Niall breaks the awkwardness by making an obscene gesture with his hand and tongue and they all sort of just roll theirs eyes but laugh anyways like the ever so mature adults they are.

“Um, anyways,” Ashton says quickly, blushing and looking maybe a little bit jealous. “Never have I ever had a boyfriend.”

Alex, Louis, Katie, Kate and Niall take a drink.

“Rian,” Alex shrugs, and Kate and him exchange another look.

“Nathan,” Katie nods, a far away look in her eyes. Michael shifts.

“Luke and Ashton,” Kate mutters, squeezing Ashton’s hand but eyes still darkening.

“Josh Devine, middle school and high school,” Niall says, but he’s not laughing, for once.

“Wait… the Josh Devine?” Katie asks.

“Yeah, the Josh Devine,” Niall says bitterly. He sighs. “He plays the drums so well, you guys don’t even know. He would play and look so happy, and oh god, I loved him so much. We were convinced we could still be together, you know, maybe it was so cliché but we didn’t care. We thought we could not leave each other for our soul mates. We were wrong. Of course, we were. Josh tried out for the X-Factor, and met Harry Styles, and Liam Payne, and Zayn Malik and we lost each other.”

He looks like he’s trying terribly hard not to cry.

Kate and Katie exchange looks, because they don’t know what to do. Niall is never like this, never looks sad, and so they aren’t sure what to do to comfort him.

But then Alex gets up and sits down next to the blonde boy and wraps his arm around his shoulder and rubs his back.

“Is it time to mention I dated Liam Payne?”

Everyone’s eyes rivet to Louis, who’s looking a bit sheepish.

“What!?”

“Yeah… high school romances.” But there’s something in Louis’ face and voice that says something different.

It’s just, Louis is closed off. And no one really realizes that except for Katie, but he disguises it with sarcasm and humor and a little bit of crude honesty, and it’s the perfect mask. No one ever realizes there are things he’s not telling.

“Never have I ever been in love,” Michael shrugs,  but there’s a sort of light in his eyes and maybe, just maybe he’s lying (but doesn’t realize it yet).

Only Calum takes a drink.

“Seriously?” Michael groans.

““He left me for his soul mate,” Louis whispers, and tears fill his eyes. “It’s just. I know that’s what supposed to happen, that you’re not supposed to end up together with people who aren’t your soul mate but I hoped, I hoped and it was really stupid but I loved him, I loved Liam so much and when he left-“ Louis clears his throat. “I thought we would stay together. I thought we would be different.”

Katie reaches over and hugs him. “I’m sorry Louis.”

“No, it’s okay,” he mutters hoarsely. “Zayn Malik. He left me for Zayn Malik.”

And Katie and Kate know it’s not the time to fangirl over Ziam being real, and they try to keep quiet.

“He smoked a lot. You know what he looks like. Caramel eyes, black hair, stubble, always wore this leather jacket. It’s just. Liam was so sweet, and innocent, and how could his soul mate be Zayn? But he was and I lost him and I just… I just…” Louis’ voice breaks.

They all just stare at him as Katie hugs him, because well, they’ve all lost someone they never thought they would (Rachel Josh Rian Jasmine Nathan) except Louis looks so utterly heartbroken about it, and just… they’re not sure what to do.

*

It’s the Sky Scope concert, and Katie, Kate and Calum are standing in line.

It’s hard to believe, that after being obsessed with Harry Styles for so long, that Louis let Calum have his ticket. Of course, the look in his eyes when he went on about  why he needed it was completely moving, but still.

Calum just wants to meet his soul mate, and who is Louis to take that away from him?

Katie and Kate are bouncing off the walls, squealing as the first chords of ‘Midnight Memories’ starts through the stadium.

The concert is a mix of heat and shouting and screaming and music and they absolutely adore it, adore everything about it.

It leaves an adrenaline rush and make it so it’s actually possible to jump and scream for two hours straight, which is kind of an impressive feat, really.

By the time it’s ended, and the sound of ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ has faded the anxiety of meeting them finally sinks in.

Calum had just been watching the dancers all along, knowing his soul mate was down there and quietly freaking out because this was his one chance, his once chance, to make her notice him and oh god, what if he messed it up?

Much quieter now, but still babbling on about the concert, he trails after the two twins, stopping in the bathroom really quick to wash his face and run his fingers through his hair.  He’s finally gonna meet Danielle.

There’s only two other girls out there who give them a distasteful look that Katie and Kate promptly ignore, they’re infuriatingly calm during things like this. Infuriating, because when it’s him teasing them, Calum doesn’t like being shot down with logic every time.

It’s fifteen minutes before the security guard signals to open the door, and the whole fifteen minutes he’s shaking and sweating and just so fucking nervous, oh god.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” Katie whispers, clutching to Kate’s arm, who instantly clings back.

“Fuck, we’re going to meet them,” Kate mutters, looking like her dreams had all just come true and her nightmares at the same time.

“Holy shit,” Katie looks like she’s about to cry.

Calum rolls his eyes, and acts like he doesn’t care and opens the door.

Danielle is sitting there, and she’s even more beautiful in person. Her head is thrown back in laughter, her curly hair is everywhere and her eyes are this gorgeous russet color and just. Wow. She’s beautiful.

“What’s your names?” the curly haired one, Harry Styles, asks. Calum has to admit he’s attractive, with his chocolate curls and green eyes and dimples coming out when he smiles.

Katie and Kate look like they’re about to die, but are still able to mutter, “Katie and Kate.”

“Are you guys twins?” Liam asks, and wow, okay, he’s attractive too. His eyes are impossibly big, really, though, he’s like a bush baby, for god’s sake. And Zayn, well, jet black hair and caramel eyes and light stubble and leathers jackets and he looks completely unimpressed by anything, but the way his arm is lightly curled around Liam’s waist, and the looks he throws at the boy- he looks at Liam like he’s his whole universe.

“Yeah,” the twins reply in unison.

“Whoa, that’s so cool,” Liam exclaims, leaning forward and honestly looking like he thought it was the coolest thing ever. Zayn shoots him a fond look and Calum can’t help but think they’re cute, despite the fact that he’s a little captivated by the amber in Danielle’s eyes.

The door opens and someone rushes in.

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late! I had to do this thing with Lani and Max, but whatever, I’m here now.”

Kate looks up. “Eleanor?”

Yeah, it’s Eleanor, wavy brown hair and green brown eyes and a perky button nose, hopping up and down and hugging Danielle.

“Dani! Oh my god, it’s been forever! How’ve you been? And Liam? Zayn? Josh? Haz?”

They all grin and crowd around Eleanor, and maybe the twins should’ve been disappointed because they aren’t getting to ask questions or anything, but honestly they love watching the boys be happy.

“Kate!” Eleanor calls happily, bounding forward and throwing her arms around the girl. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Kate greets shyly, looking down, because this is Sky Scope, and oh god, what is she doing?

Harry chuckles and slings an arm around Eleanor’s shoulders. “Are you the Kate from the coffee shop? And you’re Katie, Kate from the coffee shop’s twin?”

They both nod.

“Eleanor talks about you a lot,” Zayn supplies, and it’s the first sentence they’ve heard him say.

“I guess you know who I am?” Danielle asks, slipping down and reaching out to hug Kate, then Katie, and finally Calum.

(she smells like cinnamon and pie).

“You’re that porn star, right?” Calum jokes.

Danielle rolls her eyes but laughs. “Oh yes, that’s me. The porn star.”

Harry and Kate chuckle and they all sit down on the couch, and Calum begins to charm them. There’s a certain way Calum can hold people’s attention, a way he just sort of… fills the room. He’s not just in it, he’s making everyone laugh and he’s just kind of special, seeming, in that way. Niall is sort of the same way.

Almost within seconds he’s got Danielle and Liam laughing hysterically, and Kate smiles because Danielle is looking at Calum with an extra sparkle in her eye and maybe, maybe things are working out.

It takes a bit, but soon the twins get more comfortable. Kate still doesn’t say much, but she’s usually quiet, anyways, so it’s whatever. Katie is aiding Calum in making everyone laugh, and of course succeeding because that’s Katie.

Kate is a little surprised when Zayn sits next to her. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she replies.

He looks over at where Calum and Katie are joking around, and Liam, Danielle, Josh, Eleanor and Harry are all laughing and a smile plays on his lips. “So, you’ve got your soul mate?”

A bit shocked on the question, Kate nods. “Yeah.”

“What’s their name?”

“He’s Ashton.”

“Hmm. You love him a lot, yeah?”

“Yeah, oh yeah,” Kate nods. “More than a lot, actually.”

He smiles, looking out at Liam.

“Liam’s your soul mate, yeah?” she asks.

He looks like he’s about to lie, but then nods. “Yeah… yeah, he is.”

And Kate can sort of understand why Louis was so hopelessly in love with Liam. He’s something different, something special in the way he cares absolutely nothing about himself and everything about everyone else. He’s special in the way when Katie told him he was really nice and his cheeks turned bright red and he looked down and just looked helpless.

Josh is sarcastic.

She can see why Niall loved him. Niall would love all the sarcastic comments and jokes, would think they were completely hilarious, and she can see Niall and Josh sitting next to each other and talking and Niall interrupting the conversation with his loud laughter and just… yeah. Josh.

“What are you thinking about?”

She’s broken out of her trance by Zayn. “Huh?”

“You looked like you were thinking really hard.”

“Oh. Well nothing much, just thinking about soul mates and such, and how my friend Louis used to date Liam and loved him a lot and how my friend Niall used to date Josh.”

As if on cue, Josh looks up sharply. “Niall?”

And Kate doesn’t think she’s ever seen so many emotions past through his face, the main ones being regret and hurt and love.

“Niall,” Josh breathes. “Wow. I haven’t… I haven’t…”

There’s a sort of awkward silence since no one is sure what do to, but then Eleanor (who seems to always be perk and bright- a bit like, Niall, to be honest) reaches over and hugs Josh, tight.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs.

He shakes his head and the conversation starts flowing again.

Calum is thrilled with how this is going.

Danielle’s laugh is beautiful, warm and rich and throaty, and part of the reason he’s making her laugh is just to hear it again. It’s just. Wow. Her laugh is really beautiful. She’s really beautiful.

Kate’s phone rings, Louis’ ringtone which was ‘Gotta Be You’ by Sky Scope (at Louis’ request).

“Hello?”

“Is he gorgeous?” Louis hisses.

She laughs. “Yeah, he is.”

Louis sighs into the phone. “I wish I was there.”

“I’m sorry, Lou.”

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s hell here. Ashton won’t shut up about how he misses you, Michael keeps making these freakily sexual remarks about Katie and I swear to god Alex’s finally gone insane, he’s just sitting there silently and I don’t even know where everyone else is.”

She giggles at him. “I don’t know when we’ll be home Louis, but that sounds absolutely horrible, oh yes.”

She can almost feel him pout through the phone. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah, how why didn’t you call Katie?”

“Because she’d make me talk to Harry fucking Styles and like. No. I can’t do that.”

Kate already knows he’s right, that’s exactly what Katie would do. It’s just her twin is almost completely oblivious to awkwardness, which is actually kind of nice.

She can hear someone say in the background, “Is that Kate? LET ME TALK TO HER! C’MON LOUIS!”

Louis sighs deeply. “That’s lover boy.”

She laughs as there’s a rustling sound, a muffled shriek then Ashton’s eager voice starts up. “Kit Kat?”

“Hey Ashton,” she smiles, twisting her hair.

Danielle looks up as she says his name and her eyes soften. “Is he your soul mate?”

Kate nods.

“Kate, you’ve been gone foreevveeerr. Michael is being really weird about Katie, like he’s turning kind of vampiric-“

“Is that even a word?”

“I don’t know or care, but it’s getting pretty weird. Alex is just sort of frozen and Louis is sulking and I’m almost certain he’s in his room writing gay Harry fanfiction again.”

“Ashton,” she begins. “You guys gotta chill. Katie, Calum and I will be home soon, I think. To get Alex to stop day dreaming, since that’s what he’s doing, just go up and whisper ‘Brendon Urie’ in his ear, that should wake him up. As for Louis, let him be, he’ll write an angsty fanfiction and get all his feelings out and he’ll be fine. Michael, I dunno. He’s your best friend. And besides I knew this would work. I swear it’s gonna be any day now they crack and finally make out or whatever.”

Ashton takes a deep breath. “Brendon Urie. Right.”

“Good luck.”

“Love you! Have fun with your bubble gum pop boyband!”

“I love you too. And oh I see. Goodbye, I’m going to go to talk to my mature, indie grunge man band.”

Ashton snorts before hanging up.

Danielle is kind of sitting there looking all glowy. “I love how much you love him.”

Kate stares at her. “How did you…”

“Your voice is just full of so obvious affection,” she beams. “I wish I could find something like that someday.”

“You will,” Kate says, accidently glancing at Calum.

Danielle follows her gaze. “He’s really funny.”

Kate smirks and lightly nudges the older girl. “Is he, now?”

She blushes. “Maybe. It’s been kind of a… while since I’ve had a relationship.”

There’s a little catch in her voice but Kate doesn’t ask her about it. She’ll tell if she feels comfortable enough.

Liam comes over and sits next to them. “Calum and Katie are funny.”

Kate nods. “Yeah, they are.”

She notices as Zayn and Liam catch each other’s eyes from across the room and smile at each other.

Danielle sighs and rests her cheek on her palm. “Ugggh, I’m lonely.”

Liam turns to face her. “What, your fake boyfriend who’s really gay is not enough for you?”

She rolls her eyes and ignores him. “I think I’m  going to die alone.”

Kate snorts. “Yeah right. Danielle, you’re gorgeous, a dancer, funny, cool, smart and nice. Like hell you’re going to die alone. You’ve just got to keep your eyes open. Your soul mate could be anyone.”

She shrugs. “I guess…”

“You need to get out more,” Liam nods. “You spend too much time with just the boys and Eleanor.”

They’re interrupted as Calum slides across the floor and right into Liam’s lap.

“Oops,” he chirps, jumping off. “I think I’m missing out on a party over here, what’s going on?”

“I’m dying alone,” Danielle informs him grimly.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, Ms.-I’m-A-Famous-Sexy-Dancer. You keep thinking that.”

She blushes and Kate swears tiny little thumping hearts appear in Calum’s eyes.

Liam catches it, too, and turns to wink at Kate.

She raises an eyebrow and nods and he smirks and it sort of occurs to her that they’re not just a band, they’re people, and that Liam and Josh are actually really funny, and even if Zayn is quiet, she sort of likes it. And Harry, Harry is one cheeky bastard.

They end up spending far too much time there.

Every three minutes Kate’s phone dings with a desperate message from Ashton, and it should be annoying but no, it’s just really cute.

From: Ashton

Omg omg omg omg k8 alex hit me just bcuz I said Brendon urie wasn’t cute :’(

From Ashton:

Michael just told me Katie has nice arms omg halp

From Ashton:

Update: Michael has made 59 weird comments about Katie in the last hr. omg wat do

From Ashton:

Alex says Im annoying L

From Ashton:

Kaaatteee come hoomee I think luke is having sex with perrie in our room. Halp idk what 2 do

She laughs at them but ignores them, she’ll take her time.

Surprisingly, she likes Eleanor, Danielle and Zayn the most. Zayn sort of reminds her of Alex, and Danielle and Eleanor are just really fun to hang out with.

Eleanor is like a constant bundle of joy, bouncing around and giggling and making bad jokes but laughing at them herself so much that everyone just can’t help but join in. She’s loud and funny and acts a little bit insane and Kate loves it.

Danielle is quieter, but not by much. She’s interesting to talk to, maybe because all the places she’s been with the band on tour give interesting stories to tell, but whatever it is, she’s fun to talk to, and incredibly nice.

Zayn is almost silent, but when he speaks everyone sort of stops to listen, and if it’s a joke it’s always really hilarious and sometimes it’s just something like, “Josh, don’t say that, it’s mean,” and of course Josh stops.

He’s also completely protective of Liam, and it’s kind of adorable. Calum and Liam were play fighting on the floor, wrestling and such and Liam hit his head and made the tiniest whine sound.

Zayn was up like a rocket, lunging forward and cradling the smaller boy in his lap, looking down at him and mumbling, “Are you okay Li?”

After Liam reassured Zayn he was fine over and over again, Zayn finally got up and sat back down, but still keeping an eye on him.

Katie and Kate almost died when he did this.

“I think we should probably head back soon,”  Kate tells them sadly.

Katie and Calum make sad faces and Liam looks so completely heartbroken it’s not even funny, looking at her with huge brown eyes and long lashes and it’s like she just kicked a god damn puppy.

Josh lunges for Calum and somehow stuff him inside the sofa, and Liam stashes Katie behind him, looking hopeful.

Kate raises an eyebrow.

“Let them go, guys,” Harry tells them, sounding amused.

Josh makes a weird keening noise.

Harry laughs. “It’s not like we’re not going to see them again, they live in London. I think we can let them go for one night.”

Sighing regretfully, Calum crawls out from the sofa and Katie starts putting her jacket on.

Kate’s phone dings.

From Ashton:

PLS COME HOME ASAP BECUZ MIKE IS TRYING TO MOLEST ALEX AGAIN AND OMG IDK WUT 2 DO

Suddenly Harry swoops in the takes her phone. “Who’s Ashton? Who’s Mike? Who’s Alex?”

She shakes her head. “Ashton is my boyfriend, Michael is our friend, and Alex is my best friend.”

Harry nods and hands her phone back to her.

He added himself as a contact, with the name ‘Harriet Le Sexy Styles’

“It’s ironic and sarcastic,” he says quickly. “I’m not serious.”

“Okay, good,” Kate nods. “Because if it wasn’t I’d probably delete your number.”

Harry rubs his head against her arm, seeming very cat like. “I can’t believe you’d do that.”

She pushes him away. “Alright, alright, we’ve got to know before Michael rapes something.”

“God dammit Michael, not again,” Calum sighs.

Katie looks irked at the very thought of Michael, and they all wave goodbye, almost getting crushed by an over enthusiastic Eleanor as she hugs them.

“Byyyye! See you tomorrow Kate! We need to have a crazy party some time!”

“Definitely,” Calum calls back.

The car ride home is a little shocked, and overwhelmed and Kate’s pretty all three of their thoughts are something like ‘holy shit I have Sky Scope’s numbers oh my god I just met the biggest boy band in the world what is air we’re friends I can’t breathe.’

They pay the cab driver and tramp up to the flat.

As soon as she opens the door, someone slams into her.

“Oh god, oh god, you’re home, yes!”

Trying to speak by the mouthful of curly honey colored hair that just invaded her mouth, she laughs. “Hey, Ashton.”

He squeezes her tighter.

“Oomf, Ash, can’t breathe.”

He sighs  and pulls back. “Kate, Kate, I’m pretty sure Alex is, like, pregnant.”

Kate rolls her eyes and heads into the living room.

Michael and Alex are eating pizza, chatting and looking peaceful.

“What? I thought you said Michael was raping things.”

Ashton shakes his head. “Sshhh. Before you got home, it was just… I don’t want to talk about it.”

She shoots him a strange look and shrugs. “Okay?”

“Anyways, how was Sky Scope?”

She beams, squealing. “Oh my god, Ash, it was perfect! They were so nice and we got to meet Danielle Peazer, too, and oh god, I have Harry Styles’ number-“

Almost like he had a special sensor for it, Louis comes flying out of the room. “Did  you just say you have-“

“Harry Styles’ number? Why yes, I did.”

Louis’ eyes widen to the size of plates. “Oh my god. Oh. My. God. What. You… have… his… number…”

She nods smugly.

Louis looks like he’s about to cry. “I think I’m …”

Ashton beams and hugs Kate from the side. “I’m happy for you, Kit Kat.”

“It was really fun. And where are Luke and Perrie? And Niall?”

“Perrie went home, she has to record tomorrow, and  Luke passed out in our flat. Niall is… somewhere.”

Calum trails into the room. “I met Danielle Peazer,” he sighs dreamily.

“I know,” Kate laughs. “And she likes you too.”

His head whips around so fast it almost blurs. “What?”

“She likes you too, I could tell.”

She’s pretty sure his knees are going to give out, so she pushes him gently onto the couch.

Ashton laughs at him.

“Like you’re one to talk,” Calum grunts, eyeing Kate and Ashton’s entwined hands.

Ashton just giggles. “So, do you want some pizza?”

They sit down on the couch and feed each other pizza, just to annoy Michael and Calum, who are making gagging noises and wheezing ‘dat’s gay’ which doesn’t make sense whatsoever, but whatever, it’s Michael and Calum.

Ashton gets up to go put the kettle on and Kate goes to find Alex.

“How was Sky Scope?” He asks softly, grinning at her.

She beams. “So amazing. So. Awesome.”

He smiles. “I’m glad.”

“How was your night?”

“You mean, besides Ashton repeatedly screaming Brendon Urie in my ear and getting sexually assaulted by a pink haired teenager? It was pretty good.”

She laughs. “Well that’s good. I was the one who told Ashton to do that, by the way.”

“Well, it worked the first time. But after the first twelve times it got a bit… annoying.”

“Yeah, I could see that.”

“But Brendon Urie is hot, no denying that.”

“Mmm.”

They laugh at each other and then Ashton flies back in the room. “Alex, there’s someone on the phone for you.”

It’s a bit rare to get phone calls to the flat phone, since they all have their own personal cell phones, so Calum, Michael and Katie all crowd around to witness this new development.

“Hello?”

The person says something on the line and Alex’s eyes sparkle a bit and his lips curve up in a smile. “Oh, hey Jack.”

Ashton, Kate and Calum all smirk in unison. Katie shifts, looking a bit hurt and Michael is raising an eyebrow at her.

They all slowly file out of the room and Michael follows Katie into her room.

“Go away,” she snaps.

“No, I just thought I’d say I told you so.”

She glares at him. “Go away, Michael.”

His eyes soften a bit, but she doesn’t notice. “I’m sorry, Katie. To be honest, you had to know this would happen. I mean…. Soul mates and everything. You and Alex just aren’t meant to be.”

He gaze darkens and Michael doesn’t realize that that might’ve been the wrong thing to do.

She starts to say something just as someone in the doorway exclaims, “What!?”

*

Jack has always thought talking on the phone needed to be rekindled.

Which was why he called Alex instead of texting him, or whatever.

Surprisingly, Alex is kind of fun to talk on the phone to. It’s not awkward at all, and they’re still able to be weird and strange through the phone.

“I’m not even on drugs, I’m just weird,” Alex sighs, sounding regretful.

“I get your pain,” Jack sighs back, and he’s feeling a bit like a girl, sitting there twirling the curly phone cord around his finger. It’s not his fault, okay, he just has this seriously old fashioned phone perfect for finger twirling.

“Kate, Katie and Calum went to the Sky Scope concert tonight.”

Jack smirks, just picturing Kate’s reaction. “How was that?”

“From what I’ve gathered, completely mind blowing. They have their numbers.”

“What.”

“I know… trust Kate and Katie to walk in and get a world famous band’s numbers by just being them. Unfair, really.”

“Well, I think you’re pretty likable yourself,” Jack offers shyly.

Alex blushes. “Awh, well, you’re really likable too.”

They settle into a comfortable silence, until Alex hears someone call his name.

“Listen, I’ve got to go, but call me later, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay,” Jack says, trying not to go full teenage girl and start fangirling. “I totally will.”

“Bye, Jack!”

“Bye Alex!”

Alex sets the phone down and follows the sound of voices into Katie’s room, stopping when he hears his name.

“I’m sorry, Katie. To be honest, you had to know this would happen. I mean…. Soul mates and everything. You and Alex just aren’t meant to be,” Michael’s voice rings out.

Alex freezes. It never, ever occurred to him Katie could like him, like that. He could barely believe Kate stayed with him all those years, and was apparently in love with him, never mind Katie liking him. He’s just, not that likable.

And sure, he’s gotten better, but he never had someone to hug him like he could hug Kate when she broke. He healed himself, but it took time and the parts of him that are shattered still hang around and while he doesn’t exactly hate himself like he used to, he doesn’t exactly like himself, either.

It’s far easier to see why Kate and him were like they were, because you can’t help but love the person who fixed you at least a little bit. It’s like… sometime, someone comes along who hugs you so tightly that all your broken pieces stick together and you have to love them for that.

Anyways, he’s also a bit shocked he didn’t notice before. He’s usually more observant. But he didn’t notice at all.

“What!?”

So that’s when the door opens and Michael sticks his head out, and his face goes pale, and Alex feels bad for him, because he knows that Michael likes Katie, even if he never wanted to admit it, he did.

He feels bad for Katie too, because she’s obviously oblivious to this all, and he’s about to break her heart because he doesn’t like her. Maybe, maybe if he hadn’t fallen so hard for her twin and used to sort of, just a little bit, hate her for not being there for Kate, he could’ve of liked her. Maybe if he hadn’t met Jack, who made his cheeks turn pink and his knees weak and just all around happy, maybe then.

But not now.

He understands how much it’ll hurt more than some, because well, he’s dealt with heartbreak.

“I need to talk to her,” he tells Michael, and the boy nods, looking a little protective of her, and Alex sighs and just wishes Katie would notice how much he liked her.

Throughout the whole conversation, Katie won’t look at him, and she looks embarrassed and angry and hurt and he’s a little angry at himself for hurting her, because Katie is one of his best friends and he doesn’t want to hurt her.

“You should give Michael a chance,” Alex tells her.

Her head shoots up. “What?”

“He’s infatuated with you, Katie.”

She snorts. “No, he’s not. We hate each other. I hate him, he hates me.”

Alex just raises an eyebrow. “Okay, you just think about it. I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head. “It’s okay.”

So then it gets really awkward and Alex leaves the room hurriedly.

Michael comes in as he’s leaving.

“So….”

Katie rolls her eyes at him. “Why are you in here?”

Hoping his concern doesn’t show in his voice, he bites his lip. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Now can you please leave?”

He sighs, and gets up. “Yeah, sure. Bye.”

She bites her lip and rolls over, staring at the ceiling.

It’s just, she kind of liked Alex a lot, more than she’d like to admit. She liked him enough to not disregard it as something that would go away within a portion of time, and to actually admit it, which took kind of some serious like there.

And of course, she saw the chemistry between Jack and Alex right away, no one could miss it. She saw the way Alex kind of looked at him with big sparkly eyes and Jack responded with a toothy smile and maybe then, she realized that Alex would never like her back, not in the way she wanted, and maybe she kind of accepted it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“Katie?”

Katie rolls over as Kate peeks in. “Yeah”

“Are you okay?  Michael just said that something was wrong, but he wouldn’t tell me.”

Katie just sighs. It really isn’t a secret anymore, well except Kate is going to probably be mad at her, which is gonna suck because honestly she hates it when they fight, as rare as that is. When it does happen it sucks.

Plus, Alex is special to Kate. Obviously. More special than the usual things they fight over (which usually included Kate’s completely weird habit of shipping ‘Lirry’ when Zayn and Liam were so obviously a couple. These fights lasted an hour at most) and maybe, this fight might last longer than the others.

“Uh,” she begins, twisting the thread of the blanket.

Her twin apparently senses something is wrong, and comes in, closing the door behind her and sitting next to her on the bed.

“What’s up?” Kate asks, looking concerned.

Katie decides it’s probably better to just get it over with, and sighs. “Um,wellIkindoflikedAlexactuallyIlikedhimalotbuthelikesJackandhefoundoutandyeah.”

Kate blinks. “Could you repeat that?”

“’Um…. Well, I liked Alex, kind of a lot. But he likes Jack and he found out that I liked him and informed me he didn’t like me and yeah.”

Kate looks a bit shocked. “Why didn’t you tell me? You liked Alex, I mean.”

Katie shrugs. “I thought you’d be mad. Because you and Alex were like, married or something for a brief time or whatever.”

She snorts. “Yeah, we were totally married. But Katie, I don’t care. I mean, I’m sorry he doesn’t like you back. You guys would’ve been cute together.”

Katie releases a breath. “Well, I guess. But him and Jack will be cute together too.”

Kate bites her lip. “Are you okay?”

Katie shrugs. “I will be.”

“Do you want to go eat ice cream and watch bad movies with me? Since that’s what you’re supposed to do when this happens.”

Katie laughs. “Sure.”

“I’m  pretty sure there’s ice cream in the freezer, unless Ashton stole it all again…. And by the way I’m kicking everyone out.”

Kate gets up and starts telling everyone to leave.

“Whhhyyy?” Ashton moans, and Kate smiles at him.

“C’mon Ash, me and Katie need to bond.”

“But it’s cold outside.”

“Sorry babe, you gotta go. Bring Alex and everyone with you. Go bowling or something.”

“But bowling isn’t fun without you.”

Kate shoves him out the door, kissing his cheek. “Good, now goodbye!”

“But-“

She closes the door and starts trying to get Michael away.

“I’ve got this,” Louis says grimly, and whispers something in Michael’s ear.

His eyes shoot open and Louis smirks.

“Bye,” he mumbles before shooting out the door.

“What?” Kate asks in confusion.

“Oh, nothing,” Louis smirks, following Michael out.

Once they’ve cleared the flat of all the people (“I didn’t even realize how many people were in here until we had to make them all leave,” Katie said in amazement) they decide a pillow fort would be appropriate.

“They’re all gonna be so mad at us,” Kate says as they strip everyone’s beds of sheets and blankets and pillows.

Katie snorts. “Whatever, they can deal.”

It takes a lot of precarious balancing but they eventually have sheets pretty much everywhere.

“Whoa,” Katie says as they crawl into it. “This isn’t just a pillow fort, this is like a pillow city.”

It’s true, it kind of covers the whole living room area, goes down the hallway and sort of overlaps into Kate and Ashton’s room and then it goes into the kitchen.

It took every single blanket and pillow in the house to create a comfortable floor but it’s kind of worth it.

Katie and Kate sit in the middle near the couch, and they play A Rocket to the Moon and talk.

“So then Alex was like “Give Michael a chance” or something which doesn’t make sense at all, since I hate Michael and he hates me and just, what.”

“Hate isn’t the opposite of love.”

Katie stares at her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Kate just shrugs ominously.

“So, I’m betting it’s gonna be about twenty minutes before everyone gets back. So has Ashton impregnated you yet?”

Kate stares at her. “No!”

Katie raises her hands up. “Okay, okay, just checking. Rather safe than sorry. So how are you guys then?”

“Really good,” Kate sighs.

“That’s so boring. It’s like, once you find your soul mate it’s not like there’s gonna be any drama, because you guys are meant to be. Like how boring is that?”

“Yeah but, drama is not that fun when you’re the one it’s with.”

“True,” Katie nods. “I suppose it does kind of suck to be in the middle of drama. When I meet my soul mate I hope we have somewhat of a different story.”

They’re interrupted by the door opening and Ashton calling, “Kate?! We’re home! Ahhh, what is this?”

Katie and Kate look each other and giggle.

“Ashton, you’re blocking the door- shit, what is this?”

“Guys, did you make another pillow fort? Though this one looks really big.”

They stay silent.

They hear Ashton giggle and a rustling sound and assume he’s in the fort now. “I’m gonna find yooou.”

“That sounded fucking creepy, Ash,” Calum mutters. “There’s like nothing here. I can barely see. Why must you guys do this?”

Katie and Kate just cackle silently as Ashton lumbers through the fort.

“This is really big guys, how am I supposed to find you?”

“Oh my god, not again,” they hear Louis groan.

“What?” Michael asks.

“They made a pillow fort, like, a giant one. How am I supposed to sleep?”

“We can all just sleep in here,” Katie calls.

“AHA!” Ashton exclaims.

Something slams into Kate.

“Hi,” Ashton whispers to her.

“Hi,” she whispers back.

“LOOK OUT THE PINK ONE AND HOODS ARE COMING IN!” Louis screams.

“AHHHH!” Ashton, Katie and Kate scream back.

“HURRY, HIDE!”

The three crawl through the pillow fort and Kate pushes aside a sheet to reveal another sheet, then a wall, that turned out to be a sheet, and then an actual wall that she turned at that led into a room of pillows.

“Shh,” Kate whispers. They huddle in the corner listening for Michael and Calum.

“How did we even make this?” Katie whispers.

“Pretty sure this is like the Room of Requirement,” Kate whispers back. “When we need it, it appears.”

“I need pizza,” Ashton says.

Nothing happens.

“Dammit.”

They roll their eyes at him.

“I’M GONNA FIND YOU GUYS IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN CLOTH MAZE! JUST WAIT!”

Calum, it ends up, can be quite terrifying. Of course Michael is always scary, what with the pink hair and murky green eyes and everything.

He’s rather vampiric. If that’s even a word.

They stay deathly quiet as Calum makes a loud sniffing noise. “I smeeeeelll them.”

Ashton shudders.

“You know, Ashton, you put on like, all of your cologne before you left the house, I legitimately smell you.”

Katie glares at him. He shrugs, looking sheepish.

“Oops?” He whispers.

“Shut up Mike, I heard them!”

Katie glares at Ashton again.

Ashton makes a whiney noise and curls into Kate, looking very kitten like. Kate coos and smiles down at him, running her hands through his curls.

“Shhhh,” Katie shushes.

“I heard them!” Michael exclaims. “This way!”

It’s their turn to glare at Katie.

She rolls her eyes and scoots forward. “Okay, we’re gonna have to split up. I’ll go solo.”

Kate and Ashton are completely fine with this, and she leaves quickly before they start making out or something.

Michael and Calum are somewhere in the kitchen, she’s pretty sure, so she crawls along safely, knowing that this route should lead to Alex’s room.

She’s about to turn when something slams into her and shoves her back onto the couch cushions that comprise the floor.

“Ha, got you!” Michael exclaims, from where he’s awkwardly laying on top of her.

She sighs. “Dammit.”

“What are even doing?”

“I don’t know, but it’s fun.”

She suddenly becomes aware he’s lying on top of her, and that she sort of likes it.

His face is mere inches from hers and his murky green eyes are boring into hers and his breath is ghosting across her face, causing goose bumps to spread and it’s just, wow, she never noticed before how his eyes, that dark green, turned gray towards the pupil or the way his eyelashes brush his cheek whenever he blinks, or his smile, that make the corners of his eyes all crinkly and his fluffy hair and how adorable he is.

“Katie,” Michael begins, his voice low and making shivers dance down her spine. “Can I kiss you?”

And this is stupid, because she hates him, absolutely despises him, except maybe she doesn’t really.

“Yeah,” she says back.

So then he kisses her, and to be honest, it’s the best kiss she’s ever had. It’s slow and perfect and his lips are full and soft and he tastes just the slightest hint like vanilla ice cream, which is weird but whatever, she likes it.

When they break apart, and Calum yells, “DID YOU FIND HER YET MIKEY!?” Katie sort of wants to hit herself because she’s going to regret this all so much later.

Michael looks confused and hopeful and happy and maybe Alex and Kate were right (god dammit they were always right, it isn’t fair) about Michael liking her.

As she thinks about it, she decides that maybe, just maybe, she could like him too.

*

“I don’t know if I like this,” Alex mutters.

Jack is taking to him to a fancy restaurant, and to be honest fancy restaurants are seriously not Alex’s hood.  He’d prefer a nice McDonalds or something, but Jack wants to take him here and of course Alex isn’t saying no.

They get a booth at the back and Alex feels severely under dressed and like everyone is judging him, and no, he doesn’t like that feeling.

But, Jack makes it better.

“The menu here is all fancy with all these ‘chais’ and stuff and it’s stupid but like, the food is really good, especially the pasta. Definitely try the pasta. And did you know that this is practically a hundred years old? Well only eighty six but still, that’s pretty old. I think. I don’t know.”

Alex personally thinks Jack’s rambling is adorable and he likes it a lot. He wouldn’t mind hearing Jack ramble for a really long time (maybe even forever).

So, he tolerates the restaurant and when Jack insists to pay for it, despite Alex’s protests and even trying to grab the money out of Jack’s hands, he relaxes just a bit more.

“What did the ocean say to the other ocean?” Jack asks some point along.

“What?”

“Nothing, they just waved.”

Alex raises an eyebrow.

“Did you sea what I did there?”

He makes a face.

Jack smirks, obviously enjoying this. “I’m shore you did.”

“Jack, no.”

“C’mon, Alex, don’t be such a beach.”

“Oh god.”

Jack just grins happily and wriggles like a bunny.

“So um… I kind of got to tell you something. I like you. Like, a lot. You kinda make these fuzzy feelings appear in my stomach and I like talking to you and you kind of make my heart smile. And maybe this is ridiculous but when I met you I kind of feel like my soul just sort of went, ‘oh hi, I’ve been looking for you’ and I feel at home with you. And god dammit I’ve said too much, I always say too much, just please excuse what I say, okay? Except for that I like you because-“

Alex cuts him off by kissing him and Jack seems surprised but kisses him back and he’s right, Jack is right.

“Can I see your tattoos?” Alex asks.

So Jack sits down, and shows him the witch holding the pumpkin basket on his arm, and Alex shows him the skeleton, and Jack shows him the daisy on his wrist and Alex exclaims “Daisies are my favorite flower!” and Alex shows him the rose on his hand and everything is coming together and Alex is still in shock because he didn’t expect this. Didn’t think it’d be Kate’s coffeeshop friend, didn’t think he’d fall so hard for him and it’s a little overwhelming but Alex wouldn’t have it any other way.

*

Ashton isn’t sure what went down in the pillow house thing that Katie and Kate made, but he knew something did go down.

Michael’s eyes have been all sparkly and happy and Katie’s looked confused all day and they’ve both blushed whenever they looked at each other and he’s really hoping they’ve gotten together because then he would’ve won the bet.

“Dammit Katie, I was trusting you,” Kate muttered as they watched Michael and Katie awkwardly glance at each other and glance away.

Ashton smirks. “Better brace yourself to lose some cash.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “We don’t know yet.”

They’re interrupted as Katie yells something about Starbucks and slams the door and Michael decides he’s going to find Luke, who they’re pretty sure is next door strumming his guitar or something Luke-esque.

It’s growing closer to night and Alex and Jack are out (Kate was so happy because Alex finally, finally looked happy- not empty and broken and scared. He looked happy) and Luke, Michael and Calum are probably playing Fifa next door and Katie texted them and told them she’s going to hang out with Perrie and so they’re alone.

It’s starting to snow outside, and there’s a winter snow warning, but Kate doesn’t mind, because it’s cozy in the flat and she knows Alex and Katie aren’t so stupid that they’d do something and get caught outside. Like her and Ashton did… but that was only once.

They’re sitting on the couch and Ashton is telling her about a brief moment of fame where Calum posted an almost nude on the internet and it got reblogged 80,000 times or something, and Kate is leaning against him, listening to his voice as the snow falls down outside.

“I’m hungry,” Ashton announces, sitting up and stretching. “I want cereal.”

Kate gets up with him and follows him to kitchen.

“Shit, we’re out of milk,” he muttered. “I’m gonna run to the store and get some.”

I’m going to run to the store and get some milk.

I’m going to run to the store and get some milk.

It’s incredibly familiar and makes her eyes water, for some reason, but she doesn’t know why.

The snow is falling harder outside and Ashton goes down the hallway to get his jacket and Kate closes her eyes, thinking.

I’m going to run to the store and get some milk.

“Where’s Dad?”

Ashton comes back out and slips his shoes on. “I’ll be right back, babe.” He kisses her cheek and buttons his coat.

“Where’s Dad?”

“He ran to the store to get some milk , sweetie. He’ll be back soon.”

Ashton turns the light off in the kitchen. “Hey, we get whole milk, right?”

“Yeah,” Kate nods.

“Where’s Dad?”

Her mother looked concerned. “He probably just had to get some gas. He’ll be home soon.”

Three knocks at the door.

“Hello, m’am?”

Ashton is looking for the keys, mumbling under his breath about how they need something to tell them apart.

“Car crash… slippery… he was wearing a seat belt… nothing we could do… died instantly…”

Kate didn’t quite understand.

“He’ll be home soon, sweetie, he ran to the store to get milk.”

“I’ll be home soon, babe, right back with milk.”

Kate stares at him, her lips dry and eyes wide.

“He’ll be home soon.”

“He just ran to the store to get milk.”

Ashton is just closing the door as Kate shoots up and grabs his hand. “No,” she chokes out.

“Kate?” He asks as she fights back tears. She can’t lose him, she won’t lose him, if he leaves he won’t ever come back and she’ll be just like her mother, hollow cheeks and haunted eyes and a sadness so deep it hurt to look at. If Ashton leaves he won’t be home soon, if Ashton leaves the snow storm will make it too slippery and it won’t matter if he’s wearing a seat belt and there will be nothing they could do and he’ll die, he’ll be gone forever and she’ll lose him.

“What’s wrong?” Ashton asks.

“You can’t leave,” she gasps.

He stares at her with wide eyed concern. “Okay… I was just gonna get some milk…”

“No, because if you leave you’ll never come back and I-I…” she’s started crying, as hard as she tries not to.  “You’ll die and I can’t lose you.”

He gently guides her over to the couch. “What’s wrong?”

Kate is a little bit frantic because Ashton is still gonna go and he’s not listening to her but he has to.

“My dad,” she mutters. “My dad left to go get milk. “He’ll be home soon, sweetie, he just ran to get some milk.” He never came okay, and he died. I can’t.. you can’t…”

Ashton’s eyes soften and he hugs her. “Oh.”

She tries to stop crying but it’s incredibly hard.

“I’ll stay here, Kit Kat. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“How could you? I didn’t even… I didn’t think about it but Ashton, there was a snow storm warning that night too, and I…”

“Shh,” Ashton comforts.

Kate takes a deep shuddery breath. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry darling. I’m sorry that happened to you. You honestly don’t deserve any of this.”

She just shrugs.

He kisses her forehead. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

“Not really. But you were saying something about a time Michael liked Acacia Brinley? I wanna hear that.”

Ashton grins. “This is a fabulous story. Okay, so Michael used to absolutely worship her…”

She closes her eyes and leans against him, letting his voice fill her ears.

*

“We’re soul mates.”

Kate just smiles at him but Alex can tell how much emotion is in that smile.

“I’m so incredibly happy for you,” Kate says simply.

Alex beams and hugs her so tightly she almost sees stars.

“I’m so happy,” he mumbles into her shoulder.

“I know,” she whispers back. “Believe me, I know.”

Jack and Ashton’s voices ring out from the living room as they step out into the hallway.

“We did it,” Alex breathes. “We found them.”

“And they’re perfect, aren’t they?”

They watch as Jack pokes Ashton’s dimple and says “Boop” and Ashton rolls his eyes and catches Kate’s gaze, smiling slightly before looking away again.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, voice full of something that can’t be described but Kate understands. “Yeah, they are.”

They smile at each other.

*

“Katie, we need to talk.”

Katie stops and turns around, glaring at Michael. “About what?”

He turns a shade of pink that matches his hair. Katie tries to ignore how cute it is. “You know… in the pillow fort the other night…”

“What happened in the pillow fort the other night?”

He laughs but it’s nervous. “We kissed…?”

“Oh yeeaah. I’m sorry Michael, it didn’t really… mean anything, you know?”

She’s lying. But she hates Michael and she still likes Alex and she’s so confused.

She regrets saying it as soon as his fall crumples like a sheet of paper. He looks so utterly hurt and Katie wants nothing more than to hug him and tell him she does like him, that that kiss was the best one she’s ever had, that it meant everything.

But she can’t, she’s got to figure this out first.

Michael backs up and looks away. “Oh.”

“Sorry,” she mutters.

And then he opens the door hurriedly and leaves, glancing behind at her one last time as if he was hoping she’d grab his arm and say she didn’t mean it.

As much as she wanted to, she doesn’t and Michael closes the door gently behind him.

*

“So what’s up with Katie and you?”

Michael glares at Ashton, Luke and Calum. “Nothing.”

Only Luke knows that Michael actually likes Katie. The others are just assuming (rightly, but still).

He isn’t quite sure when her laugh stopped being too loud and too often and became pretty and he isn’t sure when he started saying things just to hear her laugh. He isn’t quite sure when she stopped being childish and started being adorable. He isn’t quite sure when he stopped hating her and started kind of loving her instead.

After Ashton, Luke is probably who he’s closest to. Luke is the best listener and the best advice giver. He always has been.

But currently he’s mad at Luke and Ashton and Kate and their adorable relationship and oh, he’s really mad at Alex.

The only person he isn’t really mad at is Katie, and only because it’s probably physically impossible for him to be mad at her.

But he’s really starting to hate Alex, because Katie still likes him even after he informed her he likes Jack. Katie still likes him even though Alex probably doesn’t even realize how amazing Katie actually is. Katie still likes him even though Alex will probably always choose Kate over her. Katie still likes him and it hurts.

Michael falls onto his bed, raking a hand through his pink hair. Maybe he’s not good enough. Maybe it’s because he plays guitar and –he snorts- she’s into drummers.

Or maybe it’s just because he’s Michael, and no one ever likes him, anyways. It’s always Ashton, or Calum, or Luke, and no one ever even attempts to get with him.

Not that he really wants them to, but still, it kind of hurts.

He groans into his pillow and someone knocks on the door. “Mike? It’s Luke, can I come in?”

He sighs. “Yeah I guess.”

Luke comes in, closing the door behind him. “Are you okay?”

Michael’s about to say ‘yes’, he is, but then he shakes his head. “No.”

His bandmate sighs and sits next to his head. “What happened?”

“Well, okay, so someone unwisely left Katie and Kate in their flat alone together, and we come back and there’s this huge pillow fort. Huge, bro. It takes up the whole flat and goes into the kitchen and everything. Massive. So we have this game where Ashton, Katie and Kate are hiding from me and Calum. I suppose Ashton and Kate go away together but I find Katie.”

Luke hums. “Go on.”

“So like… I kiss her. And it’s really nice, Luke, like extremely. It was amazing.”

He claps Michael on the back. “Awesome man! Score!”

Michael shakes his head. “No, because I tried to talk to her about it today and she said it didn’t mean anything.”

Luke’s eyes widen. “Shit, really?”

“Yeah.”

He tries to act like he isn’t trying hard not to cry.

He doesn’t think it works because Luke hugs him and as much as he tries, a few tears escape Michael’s eyes.

“Well, give it some time. It might just be because she isn’t sure what to do and everything.”

Michael nods, though Luke doesn’t know Katie likes Alex. He isn’t going to reveal her secrets, he isn’t like that.

Luke gives him one last hug then heads out and he flops back down on the mattress, wishing things were simple and Katie could just like him back.

*

“Are you free this afternoon?”

Kate thinks for a moment. Usually after work her and Ashton just kind of sit on the couch, and as entertaining is that is…

“Yeah, I think so.”

Eleanor beams happily. “Awesome! Do you wanna come shopping with Dani and me? You can bring Katie if you want.”

“That sounds fun, sure. Can I bring my friend Perrie too?”

“Sure! So like after your shift? I’ll come and get you? Dani is super excited, she hasn’t seen you since the concert.”

“Sounds good.”

Eleanor gives her an enthusiastic and bounces out the door.

Kate smiles and texts Ashton.

Guess what, I can’t sit on the couch with you today

He texts back a series of tragic emojis and it makes Kate smiles, he’s just so cute.

From: Ashton

Whhhhyyyy :’(

To: Ashton

Because I have friends

From: Ashton

:O

To: Ashton

Shut up

Shaking her head and smiling, the door tinkles and of fucking course Harry Styles walks in.

“Kate?”

Shocked he even remembers her, she nods. “Yeah, that’s me.”

He smiles at her warmly, dimples flickering. “You’re hanging out with Dani and El today, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great, they don’t have very many friends. I think it’s kind of because of the lads, I guess it’s hard for them to befriend people without knowing if it’s just to get closer to us. They never say that, but I feel bad. So I’m really glad you’re doing this.”

“No problem, they’re really fun.”

He orders a hazel nut coffee and she scribbles his name on the brim of his cup.

“So have you got an opening act yet?” She asks casually, knowing that Sky Scope was looking for on for their tour.

“Yeah, actually. Zayn found a really cool band. But we still need to contact them, so.”

“Oh, cool, so what’s their name?”

“I can’t remember it, actually, but it was something like 5 Minutes? 5 Seconds? And there was another part of it but I can’t recall.”

“What kind of music?”

“I’m actually not too sure how to put it… kind of punk rock but also pop?”

“Sounds legit,” Kate nods.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I hope they agree.”

“I’m sure they will, I mean. It sounds awesome to go on tour with an amazing band.”

Harry looks pleased. “Thanks, Kate. You’re pretty cool.”

“You’re pretty cool yourself.”

They grin at each other.

“Well, I’ve got to be going but text me, yeah?”

“Sure , oh,” she begins, smiling to herself. “My friend Louis is a huge fan, do you think you could meet him sometime?”

Harry laughs. “Of course, just text me when and where!” He waves one last time before leaving.

Kate smiles to herself.

To: Ashton

So just saw Harry Styles again

From: Ashton

OMG OMG OMG OMG THIS IS LOUIS TELL HIM TO COME OVER PLS KATE PLEEAAASSEEE :):)

Kate laughs.

*

“Is this the cliché part where we buy dresses for some event?” Katie asks.

“Yes,” Eleanor and Danielle chorus in unison.

“What event?” Perrie asks.

“This Saturday, seven, my flat,” Danielle says seriously. “I’m having a party. Plus one. Though all who are coming are the lads and you guys, so.”

“I’m bringing Luke,” Perrie nods.

“Ashton,” Kate says immediately.

“Louis, definitely Louis,” Katie decides.

“What about Michael?” Perrie asks, nudging her.

“Ooo, who’s Michael?” Eleanor asks, grinning.

“No one,” Katie mutters.

“He’s a friend that likes Katie and they have miles of sexual tension and it’s horrible but they pretend to hate each other.”

“I want to meet him,” Danielle smiles. “You know, fuck the plus one thing. Bring your friends.”

“I can’t wait to see Louis have a mental breakdown,” Katie snickers.

“Why would he do that?” Eleanor actually looks concerned.

“Because Harry Styles.”

A knowing look appears on Danielle’s face. “Ah, fanboy.”

They all nod.

“Well, this should be good, this party,” Kate nods.

“What kind of wear do we wear to this party?”  Perrie wonders.

“I don’t know, something casual but like, hot?” Danielle trails upward like a question. “It’s more like a casual get together.”

“Well, let’s go.”

“Can we go to Starbucks first?” Eleanor asks excitedly.

“Eleanor loves Starbucks,” Danielle explains, smiling slightly.

“So does my friend Niall,” Katie laughs. “Well, any restaurant.”

Eleanor gets a strange look on her face. “How you spell that? Niall.”

“N-I-A-L-L.”

There’s a weird look in her eyes but a big smile on her lips as she wordlessly pulls her shirt up to show ‘Niall’ written in small, blocky font on her left hip.

None of them are quite sure what to say.

“El,” Danielle says quietly, reaching out to hug her.

“Um, wow, okay, you can come home and meet him with us,” Kate tells her, grinning, because another one of their group has found their soul mate.

Eleanor nods and she looks completely thrilled and Kate understands, understands completely.

*

After Starbucks, Danielle, Eleanor and Perrie try on dresses and of course look gorgeous in every one.

Eleanor finally decides on a powder blue dress that’s all flowy, and goes to right above her knees, and Kate isn’t sure how else to describe it but it fits El perfectly, bubbly and light and cute. Danielle chooses a white dress that’s kind of like Eleanor’s but not so flowy.

Perrie goes all out because she can. She always looks perfect, it’s a bit unfair, and is wearing a black dress that’s more skater girl and it’s also unfair how she can look like a delicate princess one second and a badass the next.

Katie and Kate stick together because they aren’t quite sure what to wear or what to do. They never really went shopping, and have enjoyed it so far but still.

“Well,” Katie begins. “I guess we should go look.”

So the twins meander through the store, looking for dresses. They aren’t sure what they’re looking for or what colors or anything, and finally Perrie comes over to help.

“I’m thinking dark blue, maybe sort of aqua,” the violet haired girl says to Danielle and Eleanor.

“Yeah,” the others agree.

They all disappear and the twins decide to just go look at the jeans and stuff because honestly they need some clothes.

After getting more pairs of identical black skinny jeans and a long rant to each other about the lack of A Rocket to the Moon t-shirts at Hot Topic, Danielle comes over and yells at them.

“You guys, come look at these.”

Exchanging sheepish glances, Katie and Kate follow her the fitting area.

“I don’t really wanna wear a dress…” Kate begins.

“Shut up, you’re wearing one. Look nice for Ashton.”

“I don’t have anyone to look nice for,” Katie tells them smugly.

“Oh yes, you do. If I gotta wear one you do,” Kate informs her.

“Which is good because we got you matching dresses,” Eleanor smiles.

They pull dresses out behind them and they’re black lace and look really kind of like Perrie’s dress, which is good because to be honest the girly sweet thing isn’t really them. It’s definitely Danielle and Eleanor but not them.

“Fine,” Katie mutters. “That’s acceptable.”

“Can we wear Converse?” Kate asks.

“I guess,” Danielle sighs.

“Well, this was fun,” Kate begins as they head home.

Eleanor is bouncing around. “Is Niall nice? What does he look like? What’s he like?”

Katie laughs. “Niall is really nice. A bit loud sometimes, but nice. He’s got like, bleach blonde hair and blue eyes? And he’s Irish, and a bit loud and friendly.”

Eleanor nods.

“Can I come visit too?” Danielle asks jokingly.

“Of course!” Kate grins. “Bet you want to see Calum again, huh?”

She blushes. “Actually I just saw him yesterday…”

Katie’s mouth drops open. “He’s been keeping secrets from us! That little sneak!”

Danielle giggles. “I can’t wait to meet Ashton and Michael though, and Louis.”

*

When they get home, Calum and Danielle surprise everyone by kissing.

“When did this happen?” Alex demands.

“Yeah, and why didn’t you tell us?” Ashton asks.

“IS THAT DANIELLE PEAZER!?” Louis exclaims.

Calum draws back, chuckling. “Sorry, mates. And yeah this is.”

Louis looks like he’s trying incredibly hard not to pass out. “O-okay…”

“And by the way, on Saturday we have a party with all of Sky Scope,” Katie tells him smirking.

“Where’s Kate?” Ashton asks just as she walks through the door.

“Right here,” she smiles. Ashton immediately attaches himself to her.

“I missed you.”

“Missed you more.”

“Missed you more.”

“Missed you more.”

“Okay, okay,” Alex cuts in. “Enough of that.”

They giggle, but Kate feels kind of… numb.

“So, guys, this is Danielle and Eleanor,” Kate says. “Dani, El, this is Ashton, my boyfriend, Luke, Alex, Jack and Michael.”

“Hi,” they wave.

“Um, let’s see. Luke and Perrie are soul mates, Jack and Alex are soul mates. Me and Ash are soul mates. Hey guys, where’s Niall?”

“He’ll be right back, he went to go get food somewhere.”

*

Everyone should be exceedingly thankful Niall got them food too.

He was tempted to just get his and leave, but since he’s a great friend and all, he got everyone else some food too.

As he’s heading back, he outlines the letters on his underarm that spell out ‘Eleanor’ and wonders who she is, how long it’ll be before they meet, what she looks like.

He can hear everyone chatting before he even gets inside. Kate and Ashton are talking loudly to Alex and Jack and Louis about a band, Katie, Michael, Perrie and Luke and some other voice he doesn’t recognize are talking about Sky Scope.

He knocks on the door. “Oi, someone open up! I’ve got enough of a load!”

Louis opens the door. “Come on in, mate.”

Niall makes a beeline for the kitchen, putting everyone’s orders down before heading into the living room.

Sitting on the couch, smiling hugely is the prettiest girl Niall possibly could have ever seen.

Wavy brown hair, light brown eyes, a few freckles across her nose and long eyelashes. She was just, she looked warm. Like she was home.

Niall stares at her.

She stares back before standing up. “Are you Niall?”

Her voice is warm too. A little bit husky and high and just, nice. “Yeah, that’s me.”

And she’s smiling really big and Niall isn’t quite sure why until she lifts up her shirt and shows him his name on her skin.

“I’m Eleanor.”

So, she’s his soul mate.

He shows her the ‘Eleanor’ on his underarm and the piece of jellied toast on his side (she has peanut butter on her side) and wow, he’s met his soul mate.

Everyone’s watching them, and Ashton and Kate and Jack and Alex are smiling small secret smiles and he wonders if this is how they felt, this overwhelming joy and happiness and the weird feeling of being home after a long time.

“Wanna talk?” He asks, nodding down the hall.

She agrees and takes his hand, and they head away from everyone else.

*

“I feel like everything’s coming together,” Kate whispers.

“I know,” Ashton beams. “I mean, we just have Katie and Michael and Louis left, right?”

“And Calum and Danielle but he knows so really not really. And what’s up with them, anyways? Katie wouldn’t tell me.”

“I’m not quite sure,” Ashton sighs. “Mike wouldn’t tell me either. You think sometime happened?”

“Yeah, I’m just not sure what.”

“I wonder who Louis’ soul mate is.”

Kate shrugs. “Dunno but I feel like he’s gonna meet him soon.”

Ashton let her lean into him. “I hope so. So what’s about this Sky Scope party on Saturday?”

She smirks. “We’re partying with an internationally famous boy band, babe. It’s gonna rock. We might even play Apples to Apples!”

He laughs. “Oh yay, this is going to be absolutely crazy.”

“I know.”

Jack and Alex are draped over each other on the arm chair, sprawled out and looking a bit like cats.  It helps that Alex is gently running his hands through Jack’s hair and he’s practically purring.

Kate thinks it’s adorable, but for some reason it doesn’t make her as happy as it should. It just makes her feel tired. Everything has been making her tired, lately.

She doesn’t like to think about why.

*

“The boys really want to meet Niall,” Eleanor tells Danielle, Perrie and the twins Sunday afternoon.

“Well it’s good that they’re having a party, then, huh?” Katie says.

They’ve all become fast friends, and to be honest, Kate kind of loves how Danielle and Eleanor work, it’s nice. They’re just so happy all the time. It makes her tired, but she’s been tired a lot lately, and sort of… numb.

Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael are practicing, and Ashton had told Kate she absolutely couldn’t come watch, for whatever reason. Niall, Alex, Jack and Louis, they assume, were out street performing again. They were really unfairly good at singing.

“I hate how untalented I am.”

Eleanor stares at her. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kate shrugs. “Just wallowing in the fact that everyone I know has an amazing talent. It’s the worst burden I can think of, to want to be extraordinary and being painfully, mind numbingly, sickeningly ordinary.”

And she isn’t quite sure where that came from, or why it’s back, but when she looks out the window the sunlight suddenly isn’t as bright and it scares her.

Eleanor, Danielle and Perrie just sort of stare at her and Katie looks confused and suddenly, and for absolutely no reason at all she can’t breathe and she shoots up, hurrying to the bathroom and locking the door.

She sits on the toilet and leans her forehead to the cool ceramic of the sink, taking fast breathes and trying to find the beauty in the swirls of gold in the glass and dripping of the bathtub, trying to grasp reality again.

She stands up shakily, staring in the mirror and that familiar feeling comes back, rushing and crashing into her, as she stares at her reflection, picking apart her flaws.

Your hair is too long and too dull and your skin is too pale and your thighs touch and your stomach is too big and you’re ugly, what have you been doing?

She shakes her head abruptly, trying to shake the thoughts. It can’t be coming back now. It can’t be, it has no right, she was finally happy. It can’t come in and wreck her life again and ruin everything.

But the truth is, depression is like a darkness and it never really goes away.

It can be anything, she supposes, to trigger. Some days she’s just sad, down, and sometimes it’s even worse, to the point where she can’t bring herself to get out of bed.

But what’s so terrifying that it comes out of nowhere. She was just thinking about how talented Niall, Jack, Alex and Louis were and now she’s here.

She takes a deep shuddery breath and opens the door to the bathroom.

Everyone is looking concerned but Katie looks afraid, and she gives Kate a look that says ‘we’re talking about this later’.

“Hey guys, um,” she wants to be alone and isn’t sure how to do this. “I’m really tired, so I’m just gonna go lay down, okay?”

Danielle, Perrie and Eleanor nod and tell her to feel better but Katie just watches her, looking even more scared and worried than the others.

Kate ignores her and heads into her bedroom, flopping down on her bed and closing her eyes. She wants to sleep, but not for the normal reasons people want to sleep. She wants to sleep so she’ll stop feeling so lost, to feel normal for a couple of hours.

It’s easy, going to sleep. She’s always tired these days.

*

“She said something about how it was horrible, being ordinary. But it was kinda disturbing, the way she said it. Something like… ‘it’s the worst burden I can think of, wanting to be extraordinary and being mind numbingly, sickeningly, painfully ordinary’ or something. Then she went into the bathroom and came back out and she looked different. I don’t know how to place it, but I’m kind of freaked out, Ash.”

Kate turns over.

The voices stop.

“I’ll talk to her,” someone says.

The door opens and closes and then Ashton is sitting next to her. “Wake up, darling.”

“What?”

He laughs at her. “Katie’s really worried about you.”

She appreciates his slightly joking manner, it makes her feel better. “Yeah, well.”

He lies next to her. “Are you okay?”

She shrugs. “As okay as I’m ever going to be.”

His eyes darken just a bit. “You didn’t… did you?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

He hugs her as best as he can when they’re both lying down. “Good. Please… please don’t, Kit Kat.”

“I won’t,” she tells him.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Usually, she’d be more talkative to him but she’s scared because it feels like being sixteen again and being sixteen was hell. When she was sixteen she didn’t like anything. When she was sixteen she couldn’t see anything beautiful. When she was sixteen she hated herself, and everyone, besides Alex. When she was sixteen she was sad.

Ashton looks a little awkward and she feels bad, that she isn’t opening up to him but it’s hard to.

“Do you think you could tell Alex to come in here?” She asks.

He looks just a little bit hurt but then his expression clears, but she still feels horrible. “Yeah, of course.”

He gets up, kissing her forehead before heading out of the room.

A moment later Alex appears in the doorway and their gazes lock.

“Alex,” she begins.

He sits down next to her and looks at her.

She closes her eyes. “It’s just one of those days.”

He looks concerned.  “Are you okay?”

She leans into him a little. “Just tired, so tired. And sad and I don’t know, I just feel so confused and numb and like it’s back.”

They look at each other.

“I don’t want it back, Alex,” she whispers.

“I know,” he says to her, hugging her. “It’s not back, you’re just having a bad day.”

“I don’t want to feel it again.”

“I know, Kate… it’ll be okay, I swear.”

He hugs her again, tightly, and she closes her eyes and sort of misses when it was just her and him, and the rain and his old car and his messy house and 7-11 everything. She just sort of misses it, even though it was dark, and she was sad, she can still miss it.

“Ashton is pacing up and down outside. Should I send him in?” Alex asks.

She looks at him, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

“Alright. And Kate? You can do this. I love you, okay? This is just another day. You’ll be alright.”

“Okay, and I love you too.”

He smiles and closes the door before Ashton comes in.

“Are you still tired?” he asks, flitting around.

“Ashton, I need to talk to you,” she tells him.

He sits down on the bed and she sighs. “Okay, well. As you might have known, when I was like, fourteen and four a couple of years I had depression. And there are just some days it gets  bad and it’s like being sad again and I get scared.”

The look on his face makes her feel bad.

He looks like he’s about to cry, sort of.

“Kit Kat….”

“It’s not really a big deal,” she scrambles. “I mean, I’ll be okay, eventually. I just thought you should know.”

He hugs her again (she’s been getting a lot of hugs lately) and kisses her. “Okay.”

And she supposes there’s not much else to say.

*

“Tomorrow night I’m meeting Harry Styles, yeah, he’s a sexy beast and I’m gonna get him number! Tomorrow I’m meeting Harry Styles, yeah, he’s a sexy beast and I’m gonna get him number! Tomorrow night I’m meeting-“

“Shut up!” Alex snaps. “We get it, Louis.”

Louis looks like he’s about to have a breakdown. “No you don’t! I’m. Meeting. Harry. Edward. Styles.”

“Woop di do,” Jack mutters.

Louis glares at him.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jack says sheepishly.

Alex takes his boyfriend’s hand. “Ignore him, Jack, he’s just being a fanboy.”

“It’s chill, I’m a fanboy for like, Fall Out Boy, I saw them in concert once. It was pretty amazing. They like, they just, uggh they were so amazing! Alex we’ve gotta go see Fall Out Boy together, and Panic! At The Disco, and so many awesome bands to see… too many bands and not enough time…”

Alex listens to him ramble with a fond smile. “Okay, yeah, definitely. We should go see Fall Out Boy together, and Panic! And A Rocket to the Moon.”

“Yeah,” Jack agrees happily, resting his head on him. “It can be like a band party.”

“Right,” Alex nods, and he’s looking at Jack with adoration.

Louis stays quiet, watching them enviously. Not because he likes any of them, really, but because he wants that.

“Well, I’m off to read gay fanfiction- sleep, I mean sleep.”

Jack and Alex laugh in unison which is more cute than creepy and Louis heads off to his bedroom, wondering how long it’s gonna be before he finally has his soul mate.

*

Things are awkward.

Katie supposes they should be, since they did kiss, and then she did kind of coldly inform Michael it didn’t mean anything, but yeah, things are awkward.

She still isn’t sure why she pushed him away and told him it didn’t mean anything, when it meant everything. She’s just, really confused and Michael is really adorable in that oversized sweater he’s practically drowning in. it’s not fair.

“So, you’re coming to the party right?” She asks.

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Cool.”

More awkward silences.

“So, um,” she begins again. “What’s up?”

“Not much. You?”

“Not much.”

You could cut the tension with a knife.

She checks the time. It’s almost eight pm on Friday and Dani and El are coming over to get ready tomorrow.

Deciding it’s not so early that it’d be weird to go to bed, she stands up, stretching and leaves Michael in his cute sweater alone on the couch.

*

Get ready with Danielle and Eleanor is kind of hell.

Perrie looks naturally gorgeous, of course, but they still do stuff to her hair to make it curl and she decides to dye the tips magenta, which looks unfairly good.

“Well, Katie and Kate, your turns,” they say, turning their sinister looks on the twins.

“Um, we can do it ourselves,” Katie says quickly, Kate nodding along.

“Oh no,” Eleanor shakes her head. “Not happening.”

Two hours later of endless prepping and shoving and poking they finally meet the approval. Personally, Kate doesn’t think they look very different. Their hair is wavier than before and shiny and makeup and stuff but not so special.

“Can we leave now? Ashton’s waiting.”

“Of course, so’s Calum,” Danielle beams. Kate wonders briefly if he’s told her yet, and assumes he hasn’t but then again it’s Calum, you can’t really know.

“And Niall,” Eleanor agrees, looking  adoring.

Katie shifts and kind of wants to say something about Michael but technically they aren’t anything, and she’s far too proud to say anything now.

*

Louis is trying incredibly hard not  to flip shit but he’s meeting Harry Styles and he might cry.

“Calm down bro,” Katie tells him. It’s all very good and well for her, she’s already met him and can afford to be calm.

The car ride to the Sky Scope flat seems long and short and Louis is practically bouncing around as it slows to a stop.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god I’m meeting Harry Styles, someone pinch me.”

Alex reaches over and promptly pinches him.

“What the hell, man,” Louis says, glaring at him.

He shrugs. “You asked for someone to pinch you.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

Katie, Louis and Michael sort of fall into this thing where they’re the only ones who don’t have soul mates so they stick together.

Eleanor comes flying out into Niall and he spins her around romantically. Jack’s hand is entwined with Alex’s and Kate is leaning into Ashton. Danielle comes out more slowly but her and Calum have a rather intense kiss.

“Gross, guys, we’re right here,” Michael moans, covering his eyes with his hands.

Louis and Katie nod in agreement.

Danielle and Calum pull apart, her blushing and him smirking at them.

Luke and Perrie are last out of the car, and of course he’s whispering something to her ear and she’s nodding along seriously.

“Come onnnnn,” Eleanor says happily, tugging Niall towards the entrance. “Everyone’s waiting.”

Louis hangs back, looking like he’s about to…. Do something major and probably regret it.

“Do I look okay?” he asks Katie almost silently.

She takes a moment to be honored, since she’s the only one Louis shows his vulnerable side to. It makes her feel trusted.

“You look amazing,” she reassures him, reaching up and adjusting his bronze fringe. “Like a pixie.”

“I am not a pixie, Katie, I am a man.”

She raises an eyebrow, taking in his bright blue eyes, small form, bronze fringe and the light pink freckles sprinkled across his tiny nose.

He crosses his arms. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

“Are you sure, Lou? I mean… this is Harry Styles. The guy you’ve written god only knows how many gay fanfictions about.”

He glares at her. They’re almost alone, now, since everyone’s gone inside. “Shhh! He will not know about that, okay? Nope, nope, nopity nope. No reason for him to know I wrote that stuff. Alright?”

Katie holds up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, calm down.”

He bites his lip. “Do you think he’ll like me?”

“Lou, how could he not like you?”

He shrugs. “Maybe because I’m just… me and he’s Harry freaking Styles?”

Katie wishes she could hug him but she knows Louis would push her away. “You’re just you and that’s plenty, Louis.”

He blushes. “Okay…”

She grabs his hand. “Come on, then.”

*

It makes sense that everyone kind of separates.

Ashton, Niall, Harry and Kate are sitting on the couch, Kate leaning against her boyfriend, and Harry is saying something that Katie can’t quite hear. Luke, Liam and Zayn are leaning against the wall and chatting, Calum, Danielle, Josh and Eleanor are all in the kitchen and Alex , Jack and Michael are talking animatedly to each other about music.

Louis freezes at the sight of Harry.

He’s even more beautiful in person, silky dark brown curls and bright green eyes, dimples and porcelain skin, his loud laugh filling the room and making the hair on his neck stand on end. He can’t explain it, the weird electricity that’s in the room.

Maybe Harry (Styles, fuck, this is Harry Styles) can feel it too, because he looks up and those endless green eyes meet his.

It feels like the moment is on fire, but frozen at the same time, like everyone else is moving around them in a bubble, like absolutely nothing matters but his green eyes boring into Louis’ blue ones.

Then Niall’s loud laugh breaks it and Louis looks away quickly, blushing, and stumbles over Harry. “Hi.”

“Oops,” Harry murmurs.

Louis is stuck standing in the middle of the room, unsure where to go next.

“Who’s that?”

He tries not to listen to Kate’s answer.

“Oh, that’s my best friend, Louis. He’s a fan.”

He supposes it could be worse.

“Hey, Louis!”

And to be honest, he never really liked his name until he heard Harry say it.

“I’m Harry. Nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, too, Louis thinks, blushing a little. “N-nice to meet you t-too. Sorry for falling on you.”

Harry grins, his dimples making an appearance. Louis tries to ignore the onslaught of butterflies in his stomach.

“Come sit down, love,” Harry tells him, shoving Ashton off the couch and ignoring his irritated ‘hey’.

Louis giggles and sits down, his face perpetually pink.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure.”

Harry asks what he wants and Louis’ left on the couch, trying to ignore Ashton’s suggestive looks and Niall’s poking.

“Breathe,” Kate tells him and he takes a deep breath and decides to pretend it isn’t Harry fucking Styles giving him a drink.

“Here you go, love,” Harry winks at him and Louis swears his stomach explods.

“T-thanks.”

“Absolutely no problem.”

Louis clears his throat. “So, um, what’s your favorite band?”

He already knows, of course, he’s a fan but still.

“Coldplay!” Harry exclaims happily, a big smile appearing on his face.

“Awesome, I love them!”

“What’s your favorite band?”

“I dunno, probably Sleeping with Sirens. Mayday Parade? Huh I’m not sure.”

He smiles a big dimpled smile at Louis. “Both those bands are really good. You’ve got good taste in music, Lou.”

Louis pretends his whole body didn’t just tingle from Harry calling him ‘Lou’.

“So,” Harry begins, settling back in such a way his body hides the rest of the couch from Louis’ sight. “Where are you from?”

“Doncaster.”

“That’s funny. I thought you were from paradise.”

Laughing, Louis hits him. “Oh my god, that was terrible!”

Harry giggles, rubbing his shoulder. “Ow, that hurts! And I’m so smooth, I know. “

“Smooth,” Louis snorts. “That’s what you are.”

“Like butter, babe.”

“Do you really want to be like butter? Can’t you be like, virgin oil?”

Harry winks heavily. “I think that’s you.”

“I’m not a virgin,” Louis huffs indigently.

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Oh? Good to know. For later information, you know.”

Louis turns a violent shade of red and Harry chuckles.

“Gordon,” Michael interrupts.

They both stare at him.

He coughs. “Just suggesting Gordon, for baby names.”

If possible, Louis turns ever redder and they all sort of giggle at him.

“You’re so pink, Lou,” Alex teases.

Louis glares at him. “Shut up, Gaskarth.”

Katie snorts and heads into the fancy pop star kitchen, trying not ogle but, wow, it’s really damn fancy.

She just wanted some water or something but upon opening the fridge to reveal strange shelves and full of bottles in different languages.

“Fancy,” she mutters.

“Is it fancy or fancy fancy?”

She looks up to see Michael leaning in the doorway.

“Fancy fancy. And do you know what these are?”

He walks over to her and peers over her shoulder at the bottles, his warm breath ghosting around her neck and making goose bumps rise on her skin.

“That’s wine, sweetheart.”

See usually, Katie likes the terms of endearment like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘sweetie’ but he uses them so condescendingly and she hates it (but at the same time she sort of loves it, too).

“Oh,” she shrugs. “Okay.”

He rolls his eyes at her and grabs the bottle. “Would you share a bottle of wine with me?”

And yeah, she should definitely say no but Michael is wearing this sweater, and it’s gray and slightly too big on him so it shows his collar bones and hides his hands and his eyes look big and green and how the hell is she supposed to refuse that?

So she nods and he leads the way over to the breakfast bar that of course Sky Scope has and as they pass the living room, Katie can see Ashton and Kate laughing silently, and her head is on his shoulder, and she can see Jack practically lying in Alex’s lap as he blabbers on about something and Alex watches him with a fond smile, and she can see Liam and Zayn talking to Luke and Perrie, and she can see Niall tickling Eleanor and Danielle laughing against Calum’s chest and she can see Harry making Louis blush redder than a tomato and she smiles, wishing she could take a picture of this moment and keep it forever.

“Where do you think they keep the wine glasses?”  Michael whispers.

Katie shrugs. “How would I know?”

“Well, you write fanfiction about them! Where do you think they keep the wineglasses?”

“I don’t know!”

He sighs. “Fine, then we’ll drink out of these cups like the classy people we are.”

Katie rolls her eyes.

He sticks his tongue in his cheek as he hands her cup to her and sits on the stool, leaning forward onto the counter.

“So Louis and Harry, huh,” he begins.

“I know right!?” Katie gushes, grinning happily. “I ship Lourry so hard. Lourry Tom… Tyles?”

“I prefer Larry Stylinson, love!” Harry calls.

They know Louis is blushing even harder and that Harry is probably smirking but Katie can’t think of anything but the way Michael’s hair seems to almost glow under the lights.

It’s surprisingly not awkward as they sit there, and his knee is almost touching hers and she can feels waves of heat and she wonders if he can feel it too. And she really really wants to ask him to kiss her again, mostly because she can imagine, irritatingly vividly, how soft his lips would be against hers and how he’d taste like red wine and maybe vanilla ice cream and maybe it’s kind of because she sort of likes Michael a lot.

There’s a fine line between love and hate and maybe they’ve already crossed it.

The whole she was thinking this he’s been talking about sometime back in college and she’s halfway listening and drinking wine, not even noticing when he refills her cup (twice).

Everything is a bit buzzed and loud, and Michael is highly contrasted, his pink hair garishly so, his skin pale, his eyes dark green.

“We should have sex,” Michael nods.

And, well, it’s not sounding like such a bad idea as it should.

“How?” Katie asks.

He rolls his eyes. “Do you not know how to have sex?”

The notion is kind of hilarious and they both start laughing hard, clutching each other’s shoulders.

“You don’t say that, Gordon,” she rolls her eyes back. “You just let it happen.”

His gaze roams down to her lips.

Maybe she knew this would happen a while ago, actually, and maybe- no, definitely, she shouldn’t do this, but she takes Michael and follows him out to the car anyways.

And after all… they’re just two kids, stupid and fearless.

*

“Where did Michael and Katie go?” Liam wonders. It’s getting late and if you were wondering the party is completely crazy.

No, not really.

“Don’t know, don’t care, let’s play Apples to Apples.”

Kate rolls her eyes at Louis and Zayn says something about how they’re mature adults but Liam is bouncing around excitedly and no one can resist that, so.

When she comes back from the bathroom everyone’s already playing.

“Heyy,” she squawks indigently. “I wanna play!”

Ashton pats the place next to him. “You can be on my team.”

She huffs and sits down next to him. “What cards do you have?”

“So far, ‘sarcastic’,” Ashton tells her.

Kate is a strong believer that the cards you get should describe yourself  and to be honest, sarcastic doesn’t describe Ashton.

Kate entered too late to win, but by the end of the game Ashton is holding the cards ‘goofy’, ‘sweet’, ‘bright’ and ‘special’.

And yeah, she’s pretty sure that’s a good definition of Ashton.

*

It takes seconds for Harry to decide he wants Louis.

It’s not hard to also realize that Louis is special. Louis is. Well. He’s Louis, and to Harry, his name should be a word used to describe perfect.

And it doesn’t surprise him at all, really, when he finds the ship that matches his compass and it doesn’t surprise him when he finds the ‘Oops!’ on his arm that matches his ‘Hi!’ and it doesn’t actually surprise him that they’re soul mates.

Louis, though, Louis looks absolutely thrilled and completely happy and Harry can’t help but smile; he’s adorable, his Louis.

It’s only been a couple of hours but the time’s been crammed with facts and boring things that completely rivet Harry because he wants to know every, single thing about Louis, from the song he sings when he’s in the shower to what cereal Harry should put out on the counter every morning, and maybe this need is a little ridiculous but whatever.

He’s Harry’s soul mate, he’s allowed to want to know him.

Louis falls asleep sometime around two am, and Harry gazes at him, bronze fringe and tiny freckles and pixie features and a fringe of eyelashes against his cheek. He’s incredibly pretty, and Harry already knows if he calls him that he’ll deny it because Louis is obviously extremely stubborn. But that’s okay. He kinds of already likes that feature about him.

Louis is curled in a ball next to Harry (Kate and everyone had left and after arguing Harry had been able to get Louis to stay) and Harry closes his eyes and lets the sound of his breathing lull him to sleep.

*

It’s nearing three when they get back to the flat.

Jack and Alex are practically sleeping on their feet and they stumble to the bedroom.

“Night, Barakitty,” Alex murmurs as they slide under the blankets, wrapped around each other.

“Night, Lex.”

Luke, Calum and Perrie are over at the other flat and Kate and Ashton sit on the couch, Kate’s head in his lap.

“So where’s Michael and Katie?” He wonders.

“Katie better not be fucking pregnant,” Kate mumbles.

Ashton laughs and run his fingers through her hair. “So… Sky Scope wants us to be the opening act for them on their tour.”

Kate freezes.

“They were apparently gonna talk to us before they even met us, Kit Kat,” Ashton says, the words coming out faster. “This is huge. On tour with the biggest band in the world, shit.”

She sits up, suddenly wide awake. “Wow, Ash, this is fantastic!”

He beams and hugs her. “I know! I’m so excited!”

“When do they start touring?”

“September.”

She won’t be bothered by this, she won’t be bothered by this.

She pushes any negative thought from her mind and smiles at him. “That’s so amazing, I’m really happy for you Ash.”

He kisses her and she tries not to think about how it’s May.

*

The next morning Kate finds Katie standing in a gray sweater that’s far too big to be her own and looks familiar.

It hits her after a moment. “Is that Michael’s?”

Her twin turns the color of a red tulip and looks away. “Um no.”

“Katie, you absolutely suck at lying.”

She clears her throat. “Well… maybe it is.”

Kate grins. “So? What happened?”

“Nothing,” she protests feebly. “Ugh, well, we… like…”

“I know and I swear to god almost twenty is too young for a child, okay?”

Katie holds her hands up. “Dude, chill, I’m not pregnant I think.”

“That’s good… so are you guys like, a couple now?”

They sit down at the table with coffee and Katie shrugs. “Did you hear the boys have been asked to tour with Sky Scope?”

“Yeah,” Kate nods, hoping there is at least a semblance of a happy smile on her face.

They lock gazes and the mutual fear passes between them.

Because, well ,the tour is seventh months long and she couldn’t even go two days without seeing Ashton.

“We’re soul mates,” Katie says suddenly.

“What?”

Katie looks down at the table. “Me and Michael, we’re soul mates.”

Kate wants to be happy for her, of course, except Katie isn’t looking exactly happy about it so she isn’t sure what to say.

*

Michael stumbles through the door around ten and of course no one is up yet.

He turns pink at the sight of Katie in his sweater. Kate smirks and leaves the room.

“H-hey,” he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hi,” she waves awkwardly. She can’t deny that butterflies flood her stomach or that well, she likes Michael. Kind of a lot.

And fuck, they’re soul mates and she doesn’t know how to feel about it and she isn’t sure she wants to spend forever with him, but at the same time there’s nothing she wants more.

“Um,” Michael begins awkwardly, since this is awkward and she wishes she could just kiss him but that might not be the solution.

“Okay, well,” his words come out faster and jumbled. “Maybe this is awkward and maybe I shouldn’t be saying this but fuck it. I like you a lot and we’re soul mates and I- I think we could do this, we could make this word. Right? We could. And I can’t be Alex, I can’t write lyrics like he does or ever completely understand you, but I won’t stop trying till I do, and I’m sorry I’ll never be him, but I could take care of you. I would, I mean. We could get an apartment together someday and you could dye your purple like you say you always want to- and yeah, I’ve been listening to you- and we could decorate it in just band posters and probably get fat because we’ll both be too lazy to get up and cook actual food and just eat pizza every night, but I think I’d be okay with that. I wouldn’t mind spending forever that way. But the thing is, would you?”

Katie just shifts and takes a deep breath and shakes her head no, because honestly she can see it perfectly and honestly Michael isn’t Alex but she doesn’t want him to be. She wants him to be Michael and maybe they’ll be that couple that no one thinks should be together but that’s completely okay. Because it’d be insanely easy to fall in love with Michael, so easy.

So she kisses him.

*

Jack’s ramblings are so long but that’s okay, Alex just likes to listen, anyways.

“So then, she said ‘do you wanna go out for coffee sometime?’ and I said ‘nope, I’ve got a boyfriend’ and then, oh man, she was like ‘did you finally find your soul mate yet?’ and I was like ‘yep’ and…”

Alex just sort of tunes him out.

“… but yeah, anyways, Alex, I think I kind of love you? Maybe it’s too early to say that and maybe I don’t know everything about you, like Kate does, but I do know you have exactly seventeen freckles on your cheeks and you have a tiny scar by your eyebrow from when you fell off your bike when you were nine, and you say you hate math because you don’t think there’s a solution to every problem. You like being quiet, because people interest you and it’s really hard to make you cry but easy to make you laugh. You like rain because the sound of the drops hitting the window makes you feel less alone and I know that I love you kind of a lot and oh god can’t you ever shut me up? I talk too much-“

Alex cuts him off by kissing him and whispering “I love you,” into his lips until he’s sure the sound of his voice is memorized by Jack.

*

Harry and Louis are already inseparable and it’s kind of adorable.

Louis is still in shock his soul mate is Harry Styles, and it’s intimidating and a tiny bit too much to handle but Harry is so perfect and sweet and nice and everything he could’ve wanted so it’s easy to forget.

It’s just.  People’s gazes linger when they walk by and he knows he’s not as handsome as Harry but oh god, he doesn’t need to be reminded of it constantly.

It’s been a week and Harry still comes around to see Louis almost everyday, and Louis is the slightest bit convinced it’s only because it’s social obligation because they’re soul mates and Harry doesn’t really like him, anyways.

Plus, over the week, Louis’ noticed Harry has a habit of ranting about how ‘cute’ Louis is, and he loves it when Harry rants but when it’s about his supposed ‘cuteness’ then well, no.

“And really, Louis, you have these really cool pixie freckles across your cheeks-“

This has been going on for a while and it’s just, he’s so tired of hearing all these lies. Louis is usually okay with accepting he’s not that attractive but god, to have Harry lie about it everyday?

“Harry,” he interrupts. “I’m not cute. I’m not handsome. I’m not hot. I’m not a model or a ‘pixie’ or whatever. I’m not beautiful. I’m not anything and stop saying I am.”

Maybe it’s a bit too early, but they’re soul mates and Louis can’t stop the words rushing out of him. It’s impossible.

Harry looks shocked and then concerned, and then unhappy and sad and he moves closer, tilting Louis’ face upwards. “Louis, I…”

“No,” Louis shakes his head free. “Don’t, because I know I’m not. I mean… I’m okay with it. I don’t really care.”

Except Harry knows he does, can probably see it in his eyes.

“Listen,” Harry begins, glaring at Louis when he starts up. “Maybe you’re not the kind of beautiful where someone can look at you and say ‘wow’. You’re the kind of beautiful that watches sweet movies, and brushes away tears, then attempt to write sappy poetry. You sing as loud as your lungs allow when nobody is home, then hum your favorite tune all day. You get completely absorbed in books then feel shattered when it ends. You’ll never abandon a friend but you understand if they abandon you. You’re the kind of beautiful that stays up late to watch your favorite show on the history channel and eat too much chocolate. You’ll get dressed and notice your jeans got tighter and cry, then sing your favorite song to cheer you up. You’re the kind of beautiful that steps out of people’s way in the hallway and bites your nails because you get anxiety. You’re the kind of beautiful that’s not exactly gorgeous, but beautiful.”

Louis is full on sobbing and he closes his eyes as Harry hugs him tightly and Louis whispers under the tears three words Harry doesn’t hear.

*

It’s a Friday night and everyone’s over.

Calum and Danielle are sitting on the couch, feet in each other’s laps. Calum had told Danielle he thought they were soul mates the day before and they were, of course. Kate could see if even if they didn’t already know.

Perrie and Luke are falling asleep on each other’s shoulders, her halfway magenta hair contrasting with his blonde hair. Their hands are entwined and Lerrie is just one of the cutest couples ever, to be honest.

Louis and Harry are the couple that act sickeningly adorable to annoy everyone (especially Michael) and it works most of the time (on Michael). But they also mean it, and though Kate has walked in on them getting it on several times too many, she doesn’t mind that much. Louis has this sort of glow in his eyes and she likes it.

Jack and Alex are feeding each other bits of pizza, and Jack is currently trying to stuff a piece up Alex’s nose and just, wow, they’re really cute together. They work perfectly together, really, it’s obvious. It’s like Alex has found his missing puzzle piece and Kate couldn’t have been happier for him. Really.

Michael and Katie are arguing over pepperoni versus three meat, one of the stupidest things you could argue about, really. But the thing about Katie and Michael is that if you looked beneath the constant teasing and fighting, inside every joking ‘shut up’ was an ‘I love you’.

Ashton is lying against her, curls sticking up everywhere, his eyes half closed and sleepy.

“I wanna go to beeeed.”

She runs her hands through his hair. “I know, I do too.”

“I’m tiirrreed. Can’t we kick everyone out?”

“Ashton, you obviously have never hosted a party. That’s not something you do. It’s rude.”

He yawns adorably. “But… can’t they host the party? It’s not like it’s even a party, too. It’s kind of like a, I don’t know, intimate get together? These people practically live here, anyways.”

She wavers because she’s tired too and oh god, it’s nearing the end of June and he leaves in September and…

He catches her worried look and gets up. “C’mon, let’s go get some sleep.”

She follows him to their bedroom and wishes it never had to end, this.

“You know,” Ashton whispers as they lay down. “I always have so much to say.”

“What do you mean?” She murmurs back.

“Like… I can never find the words to describe exactly how I feel. When people ask me about the sky, I say it’s blue. But I could really say it’s millions of colors, or infinite, or beautiful. But I settle for blue. When I’m asked about the ocean, I say it’s big, but I can never describe how vast it really is, or how insignificant I feel when I stand next to it. When I talk about flowers, I say their pretty or smell nice, but I can never capture how alive and wild you feel when you’re standing in a feel of thousands of them. And when people ask me about you, all I can say is that your my soul mate, when there’s no words to really capture exactly how I feel about you and it frustrates me.”

She smiles to herself and says, “I know what you mean… the sky is millions of blues and whites and so serene and endless, like what infinity would look like. The ocean is vast, yes, and so deep and so full of more things then you could possible imagine. There are creatures and living things and plants, it’s like it’s own world. Flowers are like gems, glowing and they dance when you stand in a field of them and it feels like you’re flying, sort of, like you’re free. And you. I’m stuck on you, Ash, but I love you so much, okay?”

He’s asleep.

Kate giggles to herself quietly and closes her eyes, letting the sound of his heartbeat send her to sleep.

_THE END._


End file.
